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No contact rule and short term relationship


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Hi everyone,

 

I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. Basically I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 months and we recently broke up. We broke up because I heard a rumor about him and jumped to conclusions, rather than asking him about it and giving him the benefit of the doubt. In fact, the rumor was false and because of this he was upset that i wrongfully accused him, and he felt that I should have trusted his word over someone's word who I don't even know.

 

In the end, he explained that he is very upset about my lack of trust for him and the situation in general, and that we need to end. He says that although he really cares about me and wants to be together, he knows that at this point if he tried to stay together he wouldn't be able to commit himself or "be the same way" that he should be to make a relationship work, and that in the end it would result in us ending on even worse terms.

 

I begged him to let us work on things together, but he insisted that he needed to be alone right now and process his emotions.

 

From what I gather, I think that I broke his trust and he is uncertain about the relationship, that is why he wants to end things now while he processes his thoughts about us to see whether the thinks we can either reconcile.

 

My question is: I am planning on going NC to respect his wishes to be alone right now. How long should I go NC? Most people say 30 days minimum, but does that still apply to this situation? We were only together for 3 months, so i'm not sure if 30 days is too long. I was thinking about contacting him in 3 weeks to see if he still felt the same way about the situation, but I also don't want to contact him if that's too soon.

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Happy Lemming

You told him to go away, so he did. I can respect that in a man and you should to.

 

No Contact means forever, not 30 days. You begged him to come back and he didn't want to. The ball is now in his court. If he decides he wants to come back and you still want to take him back, then try again.

 

Here's a thought, maybe your "lack of trust" and this "rumor" was the straw that broke the camel's back and it gave him his out. Maybe the relationship wasn't "great" in his eyes.

 

Just my two cents...

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He's broken up with you, so you shouldn't contact him anymore, period. He's done. If by some chance he has second thoughts, he knows where to find you. Sounds like he's mad because you were talking to someone he knows and kind of gossiping. No telling what their motives were. I mean, why would you want to keep contacting him once he says he's done?

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You told him to go away, so he did. I can respect that in a man and you should to.

 

No Contact means forever, not 30 days. You begged him to come back and he didn't want to. The ball is now in his court. If he decides he wants to come back and you still want to take him back, then try again.

 

Here's a thought, maybe your "lack of trust" and this "rumor" was the straw that broke the camel's back and it gave him his out. Maybe the relationship wasn't "great" in his eyes.

 

Just my two cents...

 

Exactly what I thought of too.

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