ZLearned Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 (edited) Okay. So me and my ex fiance of two years broke up about a month and a half ago. She initianed the breakup. There has been no contact between the each of us for a month and a half. Then out of the blue the other day she contacted me. It was because somebody posted nude pictures of her online, it wasn't me and she found out that it was her ex prior to me and I had texts messages from him stating he was going to do it. Anyway, she found out it wasn't me, told her I wasn't her enemy and I'm not trying to hurt her post breakup because I still respect her. Then she started talking about the breakup. She keeps telling me she thinks she's useless, she has a dead end job which everybody hates her at, how she could have treated me better, and wished she didn't make me so mad, and that she said a lot of things in anger that she didnt mean. I still love her and have deep feelings for her still and I let her know that, i also let her know that i would take her back if she ever wanted to go that route. She just continued saying the same stuff about how she feels useless and everything, and that she feels so alone. I don't really know what this means, I don't know if she is just trying to get into my head or if she is second guessing anything so I didn't pressure the idea of getting back together. Since that conversation she Has contacted me on two other occasions saying the same things. Has anybody ever been in a similar situation? What is she trying to tell me? Edited December 15, 2017 by ZLearned Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Don't ever say you would take her back if that's what she wants etc. Makes you look pretty pathetic, given that she dumped you. It's ok to feel that way but you need to keep your feelings to yourself. Sounds like she isn't in a great place. If you totally withdraw now (i.e. do a full 180 and go No Contact), its quite possible she could dump some of her feelings and you may get an idea of where she is at. But while your saying you will take her back etc, you will never know a thing because your making it too easy for her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZLearned Posted December 15, 2017 Author Share Posted December 15, 2017 Ok. So basically i should go back to no contact with her? Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 She was using you for an ego boost as she’s clearly feeling a bit down. I doubt her pics were posted online. You need to block her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZLearned Posted December 15, 2017 Author Share Posted December 15, 2017 Should also add that she created a fake Facebook profile just to get a hold of me since I blocked her on social media and my phone. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Even if she hasn't been diagnosed, she is probably clinically depressed. She probably has no idea what she wants & can't problem solve to fix her own situation -- dead end job, feelings of hopelessness, etc. I'm not sure why you are in contact with her EX before you or why he thought it was appropriate to post nudes of her now and tell you about it. Maybe he thought you'd want revenge too. If she decides to press charges, you may become a witness because those texts are evidence that the other EX acted intentionally & with malice aforethought. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Since you are the dumpee, it is best that you not make too great of an effort trying to get her back. What I mean by that is, that you should take things one step at a time and let her demonstrate to you that she wants more. Do not over-step what she gives you. She needs to show you that she wants you, not the other way around. It's already been established that you are willing to take her back, so, there's no ambiguity on that front. It's her turn. Each time she does something, reciprocate I would say. A small acknowledgement, but once again, don't over do it and don't show too much enthusiasm. You don't want to be place too much hope into something that may not be real. All we can do is give you advice, options. In all reality, it is you who needs to decide how much and when you give or take. You don't mention the circumstances in which she broke it off. Perhaps the breakup wasn't too traumatic for either of you to repair? Don't know. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZLearned Posted December 15, 2017 Author Share Posted December 15, 2017 (edited) Even if she hasn't been diagnosed, she is probably clinically depressed. She probably has no idea what she wants & can't problem solve to fix her own situation -- dead end job, feelings of hopelessness, etc. I'm not sure why you are in contact with her EX before you or why he thought it was appropriate to post nudes of her now and tell you about it. Maybe he thought you'd want revenge too. If she decides to press charges, you may become a witness because those texts are evidence that the other EX acted intentionally & with malice aforethought. He had my number because he had a daughter with my ex. Every now and then he would need to text me telling me he was bringing his daughter home if my ex was at work. He basically contacted me after we broke up saying a bunch of crazy stuff about her thinking I was out for revenge too which i wasnt. I never replied to any of his texts. I just let him dig his own hole in case he had actually posted this pictures which he did. I also screenshot and sent her the texts in case she wanted to use them in court. Edited December 15, 2017 by ZLearned Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 You do realize you just informed her that you will wait till she's done running around or whatever and take her back? She broke up with you. I promise you she knows how you feel. U don't need to tell her. Did it ever occur to you that she had these great plans post break up that didn't turn out how she wanted and now she needs an ego lift from someone? Guess who that someone is? See your so excited in the fact that she contacted you that you aren't thinking things through. Your consumed with getting her back and that's it. That's a dangerous thought process. I'll give you an example. Years ago I had an ex contact me after months of no contact. Keep in mind I still had feelings for her. So out of the blue she says she's needs to talk with me and like you I was overjoyed for her to be contacting me so I talked to her. She tells me how she's still in love with me and misses me. Instead of thinking things through- like why all the sudden does she think this - I just get so focused on getting her back we end up dating again. Here's really why she wanted me back- of course all this surfaced latter. When she dumped me the man she started dating ended up dumping her flat on her face. Then she attempted to date an ex boyfriend who ended up just using her for sex. So her ego at this point is crushed. She needs an ego boost and guess who supplied it? ME. I'm not telling you not to give her another chance. I'm not telling you not to talk to her. What I'm telling you is to slow down and to think WHY all the sudden does she feel this way about you?? What was the caused her to change? Link to post Share on other sites
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