Bekki47 Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 (edited) I have been with my now ex for 8 months we worked together first and were friends then he grew on me we got into a relationship and it was great at the start. As time went on he would do things that annoyed me that he thought was ok we would get into arguments about it and the blame would be me and then it started....everytime we would argue weather big or small this guy would leave me pack up leave in a cab I'd get a text saying he couldn't do it anymore and blocked from everything and this has happened every time with me being making a fool out of myself emailing him telling him I love him want him back and him saying it's my fault to come back then go and do it over and over again...we have now been broke up a month we broke up after having an argument on his birthday weekend when I took him away he left me there and went home and I had to make my own way back they he blocked me for a week off everything...after emailing him several times we talked over the phone he told me he still loves me and vice versa and we was going to make ago of it..he said he was going out with his friend this weekend and I asked him to be with me new years eve but he refused saying hes not losing money and he's not taking the night off for that and I said but your taking next weekend off for your mate and losing money for that and he told me to f off and that his mates paying him to go out and all i asked for id to spend that one night with him as it will be our first new years together but he said I know where he will be if I want to spend it with him come down just before and then go and do what I'm doing with my friends and when I asked if I could go out with him and his mate he said just go away and just the way he was speaking to me was disrespectfull. I had enough at that point and told him he speaks to me like crap and I blocked him heat of the moment. after I cooled down I unblocked him to talk to him but now I'm blocked from calling messaging and WhatsApp and so now I'm doing the same thing again emailing him trying to get him to talk to me...it's draining me out... I still feel I’m fighting for his attention I can’t call him when I want as he sleeps alot in the day and i dont want to disturb him he has sleeo issues and gets annoyed i actually feel like im anniying him ringing him if I meet him it has to be on his terms after he wakes up or on my lunch other than that hes working and he doesn’t call or text first I’m initiating all the time I’ve spoken to him about this and he said u was fine with this but deep down I’m not but if it ment being with him again I will go along with it but i wasn’t happy about it at all we have had no itamacy for months and he says he doesnt have the urge to because he has health issues with that too.i feel he talks disrespectfull to me sometimes and doesn’t feel like putting any effort in it’s like this is my life and I’ll just fit u in the gaps I’m free. we have had a row about how it makes me feel and how i feel hes treating me he spoke to me in a way and i told him im done at the heat of the moment and told him about himself and that he’s not prepared to give me what I’m after. he lied to ne too when i told him id sent him a request on facebook he said he had added me but the next day i was still requested and i asked him.about it and he told me that he had come off it due to posting a video on YouTube of I fight he had filmed in town and people were commenting and he was getting horrible comments and people started messaging him on fb and adding him as a friend so he had to come off but when my friend looked for him he was still on there I was just blocked. I blocked him after our argument on how he spoke to me straight away he blocked me too and my number I havent heard from him since and I havnt messaged him either.im feeling so guilty that I did that just heat of moment when I was angry. here I am messaging him for a month telling him I want him back only to get him back and then dump him. there’s no chance of any thing again now. I’ve wrote him an email but who knows if he got it.its just a mess just want us to have a proper convo with me I'm going mad here what should I do? Edited December 12, 2017 by Bekki47 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 You should walk away from this guy and never look back. Go back and read your other threads. This is a disaster but you seem to want to cling to it in hoping it becomes the love story of your lifetime. It is never going to be what you want it to be nor is he ever going to be the man you hope for him to be. You have chosen to be on this rollercoaster. You have chosen to stay with a man that treats you poorly. Until you decide you deserve better, no one on this forum can help you. You can complain and ask the same questions till you turn blue, the reality of your relationship with him is clear -- it's unhealthy and toxic. Never changing. He is not going to change into Prince Charming. So, you can stay and keep doing this same dance, or you can pick up your self-respect and dignity and walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 This man is not capable of having a proper conversation with you. Stop expecting to get closure that way. It won't come. He is immature & petulant. I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did. I would have been gone the 2nd time he packed up & said he can't do this any more. If somebody left me stranded on a trip I treated them to, I'd never look back. Stop beating yourself up. He's no good for you. Leave him alone. Self soothe & get on with life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bekki47 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Share Posted December 13, 2017 I'm struggling so much...I know it's been a nightmare but I can't help but love the guy he's got a good heart. I'm doing my first day no contact he hasn't bed in touch for 4 days i think he is definatly done this time. I'm really missing him I just hope I can be strong this time I just feel empty Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 What do you mean "he has a good heart?" No he doesn't. People with good hearts don't storm out at the first sign of trouble & they don't leave people they allegedly love stranded. He's a selfish bastard. Wake up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bekki47 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Share Posted December 13, 2017 what i mean is he can be so loving and kind and that's what I hold on too...I just can't believe he can't see the good he had with me and the boys I have done so much for him I've been there for him when no one else has...I sat by his bedside I hospital when no one else cared. I've showed him so much love. I'm not perfect when we argue I can go on and on but for him to keep leaving me and blocking me kills every time. even now I'm sure he's read my emails but he's thinking f*co her she finished it this time she can live with it but when he's always done it to me I've chased him and tried to get us back there is no fight in him Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 (edited) what i mean is he can be so loving and kind and that's what I hold on too... And that keeps you hooked. He's like an addiction. You tolerate the bad, waiting for the next high when he's loving towards you, most likely when he wants something. This is a toxic relationship, and you are codependent on him. He'll never see your worth because you don't see it in yourself. Please use this time apart from him to work on your self esteem and self worth. You're not a dog, so don't go chasing every bone that he tosses you. Edited December 13, 2017 by 1fish2fish 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bekki47 Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 (edited) The thing that hurts the most about all this is that he's the one who always finishes the relationship packs up and goes and blocks me from everything and I'm the fool saying c'mon let's work this out we don't need to finish over this with all the I love you and want you back emails and eventually he comes back. This time I was the one that said I'm done with you in the heat of the moment because he spoke to me like crap and i blocked him cause I was angry but once I calmed down I thought let me talk to him and I was then blocked by him (again) and have been ever since. Now this is the first time I've ever done that to him and he's still locked me off from everything. this is my second day not messaging him I've already explained things to him via email and told him it was heat of the moment that I did that and I told him if he didn't respond I will leave him to it and he hasn't done so now I will. I just wished in a way I did like you all said just get rid then even after he left me in the hotel I got him for his birthday and all the expensive gifts I got him after being told by my son don't buy him anything mum he will leave you and that was during the week id ready been dumped again then he came back after I called him, even after I found texts to his ex to meet up. looking back in my threads he been doing this to me for months and blaming me for it all. saying it's my fault he leaves and that I make him feel like crap so that's why I try and work things out because I feel guilty that I'm making him leave but the one time I say to him I'm done then change my mind he's gone and I know he knows this is killing me and I know he's read my emails because he was reading them the last time when he said he had blocked me from everything and I said to him I thought u had blocked me and he said I did but then laughed he just wants me to suffer now because I did that to him but I can't put myself through this anymore and my boys have already said even if j went back to him they wouldn't accept him now because of the things he's done and my friends and u guys have advised me too to let go. I know I've been a mug it's just hard when u love some one and I'm the kinda person to always see the good in people and think of any good they have done for me and when I love I give it my all. Edited December 14, 2017 by Bekki47 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Listen to your boys. They see all the manipulation this guy puts you through. He's not healthy for you. In this case, your kids are smarter than mom. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bekki47 Posted December 15, 2017 Author Share Posted December 15, 2017 I know I'm starting to feel a bit better now I just keep thinking of all the times he's left me and made me feel so crap and that's what's getting me through now. I'm on my 3rd day of no contact now and I've blocked him from everything I will stick to it now...it's hard cus its the 1st time I havnt continued to chase him but it's for the best 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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