Interesting Saturday Night...

[rosegoldbby]

So I guess you can say my boyfriend and I are on a break. He suggested a "break" because he wanted to clear his head. ya okay.

 

Little backstory..

We have been together for almost 2 years. I just turned 26 and he is 28. No children but we do live together. (separate rooms since the "break") Everything was great at the beginning but then his behavior started to change for the worst. Distant. Cold. No communication. No intimacy barely. He started emotionally abusing me. Calling me names which caused for me to have self esteem issues. Complained about everything I did and would just push all my buttons. (While I cooked and cleaned for this man, he never showed any appreciation) I talked to him about it. A month later he suggested we go on a break. Alright whatever. At this point... I don't even know if I want to get back with him after last night and I'm genuinely happier now.

 

So I haven't dressed up and went somewhere in foreverrrr. My friends invited me out for a girls night out! For the first time in months.. I actually put some pride into my appearance. Got my hair and nails done. Did my makeup! Just everything. I felt BEAUTIFUL. So anywho he noticed my appearance before I left and actually gave me a compliment. He called me beautiful. Haven't heard him call me that in MONTHS.

 

The girls and I went to some club and my intention wasn't even to find a guy, I just wanted to let loose and dance all night with some of my closest friends. Which I did until he showed up with a few of his homeboys. Kinda funny how he ended up at the same club as us and he rarely goes to clubs.

 

He locked eyes with me and stormed over by me. I could tell he was pissed but had no clue why. He didn't say a word for a good two minutes. He finally spoke up and said "I thought I saw a guy with you" At this point I was confused and said "Why would that matter?" He got even more angrier like veins poking out of his forehead mad lol and said "You are still mine" I couldn't help but laugh and said "You lost me the minute you started to disrespect me" and I walked away.

 

Now he won't speak to me but I feel like I need to talk to him about what happened... He seems hurt but that won't make me jump back in his arms.. He has broken me and I refuse to go back to that. He has a quick temper and is stubborn as hell so communicating with him is very hard to do.

[alterest]

So I guess you can say my boyfriend and I are on a break. He suggested a "break" because he wanted to clear his head. ya okay.

 

Little backstory..

We have been together for almost 2 years. I just turned 26 and he is 28. No children but we do live together. (separate rooms since the "break") Everything was great at the beginning but then his behavior started to change for the worst. Distant. Cold. No communication. No intimacy barely. He started emotionally abusing me. Calling me names which caused for me to have self esteem issues. Complained about everything I did and would just push all my buttons. (While I cooked and cleaned for this man, he never showed any appreciation) I talked to him about it. A month later he suggested we go on a break. Alright whatever. At this point... I don't even know if I want to get back with him after last night and I'm genuinely happier now.

 

So I haven't dressed up and went somewhere in foreverrrr. My friends invited me out for a girls night out! For the first time in months.. I actually put some pride into my appearance. Got my hair and nails done. Did my makeup! Just everything. I felt BEAUTIFUL. So anywho he noticed my appearance before I left and actually gave me a compliment. He called me beautiful. Haven't heard him call me that in MONTHS.

 

The girls and I went to some club and my intention wasn't even to find a guy, I just wanted to let loose and dance all night with some of my closest friends. Which I did until he showed up with a few of his homeboys. Kinda funny how he ended up at the same club as us and he rarely goes to clubs.

 

He locked eyes with me and stormed over by me. I could tell he was pissed but had no clue why. He didn't say a word for a good two minutes. He finally spoke up and said "I thought I saw a guy with you" At this point I was confused and said "Why would that matter?" He got even more angrier like veins poking out of his forehead mad lol and said "You are still mine" I couldn't help but laugh and said "You lost me the minute you started to disrespect me" and I walked away.

 

Now he won't speak to me but I feel like I need to talk to him about what happened... He seems hurt but that won't make me jump back in his arms.. He has broken me and I refuse to go back to that. He has a quick temper and is stubborn as hell so communicating with him is very hard to do.

 

My ex did it to me. Become pretty cold and distant emotionally and phisically. She also complained for everthing I did and said. She almost call for a break after two weeks in this hell, but she said that she won't belive in it, so she broke up with me. Broke my heart and she said that she wanted to be my friend, but she doesn't.

For you, what the hell... You both are in a break and you wanted to go out with your friends. He went to that club to see what you are going to do and his "you are still mine" statement are what? I see it as a pretty abusive and controlling behavior and you shouldn't accept that.

You can't change his mind and he will act like that until you cut the cycle. So cut the cycle. Break up with him telling that you don't want to live in this kind of relationship and if he change his mind about both of you that he can reach you and you both can talk about a adult realationship. Keep argue with him and trying to show something to him will make no effort until HE want to see something differente. Until then, you are going to be trapped in this hell.

If you don't want to break up right now, just stop to talk to him and argue with him. Be polite, respectful, but cut this behavior.

[Frostedflake]

Now he won't speak to me but I feel like I need to talk to him about what happened... He seems hurt but that won't make me jump back in his arms.. He has broken me and I refuse to go back to that. He has a quick temper and is stubborn as hell so communicating with him is very hard to do.

 

Was he right? No.

But there is no need for you to initiate any further communication with him. What would be the point? To rub his nose in it like a dog that messed on the carpet? It's not your job to teach your now ex how to respond to situations or work out for him how he could have handled things better. You said you were done, so be done! All that approaching him would do is stir another fight. Leave the pride and the guy, and move on.

[Darkchan]

So did i get it right, you are on a break but you live together still? You mentioned separate rooms? A break means that you are not together and might be later if you both agree to it, it's basically like breaking up but without the whole commitment. The person who wants a break usually want to break up but can't really make them self to as they probably feel uncomfortable with leaving completely, and can't imagine someones else have hat was once theirs. Quite selfie behavior in general

 

It seems like you feel happier without him, at least as how you describe it. So if you don't feel like giving him a second chance then just tell him and be over with it. he doesn't sounds like a nice guy anymore in the way he is currently treating you.

[HumanMachine]

Homeboys? What is this?

[ExpatInItaly]

It sounds like the two of just need to break up and move on from each other.

 

He sounds like an absolute tool who only cares when he thinks someone might take away the power and control he has over you.

 

I would not continue with any guy who called a break and then declared that I was "his." No. You are not property. This isn't love.