mountainbiker85 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Hi, I want to ask you all for your opinion on my situation. I met a girl in Januari. She's 29. She broke up with her boyfriend she had for 10 years and was still living in the same house untill it was sold. We met each other in a walk with our dogs. Started talking and she came to my house for a talk. Everything clicked from that moment and we started a relationship together. Everything went really great. Not a lot of arguments. Always fun and a lot of sex. Her parents were preparing a house for her to live in after her house was sold. It was surrounded by farms and she really loved that. She's always busy in the garden. She always loved me so much and said things like 'it's so weird that we match this good' or 'the sex is amazing, never experienced it like that' or 'why didn't I met you sooner'. We let each other free in our interests. I ride mountainbike competitions and have to train a lot and have weekends to go on competition. She let me do it and had her own interest in airshows. That was the only thing we didn't match in. for 9 months everything was going really good. Her parents and mine and all our friends and people in town said we were a great couple and made for each other. After a weekend away she came to my house to have dinner. She started crying and told me she hasn't recoverd from her past relationship. She needed time alone to think about things. I let her go and the same night she texted me saying she has to open up to me about everything. That I'm a great guy and all and that she couldn't wish for more in a guy. I said to her that I'm there for her and I would give her the time she needs to get things cleared in her head. The next morning she texted again that she is sorry about everything and that I deserve better. She said she wasn't used of someone who would talk and try to work things out together. Later that day she texted that she missed me and wanted to come over. She came and we had a really good evening ending up with sex. She said after that she was crazy to let someone like me go. The next day we went on a trip to the sea with a picknick. She loved that and had talked to her parents about it. On wednesday she came for dinner and brought me another gift. Big pictures of me mountainbiking. We had a really good evening and ending up again with sex. 2 days later she texted me that she is really sorry but she wants to be alone to work things out from the past. That I am the best there was and shouldn't change myself. I asked to come over and talk with her but she refused and wanted to be alone. I let it go for 5 days and saw her parents in those days. They don't understand their daughter and are really dissapointed in her. Because of them she wanted to talk to me. She came to my house and brought all of my stuff back. She just said that she wasn't in love with me and she needed time to get over things. She didn't look up to me and that it was a shame we didn't feel butterfly's. We were going to fast and all. After that small talk I let her go. After 1 week she texted how I was. Said I was doing fine and was training for next challenge. I asked her if she made the right choice. She said she didn't know and that time would make that clear. She even told her father that if we were really meant to be, we would find each other back. another week later I found out she was seeing a guy from her work. (he's also a pilot) I confronted her with that and she confessed but said she didn't cheat on me. Just feels head over heels in love with this guy. She said she doens't know for sure if she made the right choice to leave me but wanted to be with that guy instead. I heard nothing from her for 1 month. She had a big fight with her family about this. They don't like the guy and are still wanting her to go back to me. She even left the house she got from her parents after 2 weeks to live with that guy. Her cat she left after. Her parents have to take care of it. She loved that cat. I don't get it she can leave it like that. She only took her dog. She does things now that she normally wouldn't do. She's like a completly different girl. Also he is really fat and not so attractive.. I got a message for my bday. Replied with thx. she asked how i was. I didn't reply. long text but says it all. I am still hoping that she will return. I'm moving on and started dating a girl. If things were to fast with me than now it's really going fast with this guy. living together allready after 2 weeks. Updating her fb to in a relation and all. I blocked her from everything. If she regrets what she did than she knows where I live. Did someone had this before and have them come back to them? Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 You were her rebound. Stay NC and quit answering her breadcrumbs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mountainbiker85 Posted December 10, 2017 Author Share Posted December 10, 2017 You were her rebound. Stay NC and quit answering her breadcrumbs So this new guy is the one she will be moving on with? I was the guy inbetween? Why is she doing those breadcrumps then? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 You were her rebound, unfortunately. Even if she wanted to leave her 10-year relationship, she probably wasn't ready for something very serious right away. Even if she seemed into it at first, it's unlikely that she would go from one serious relationship right into another. Many just aren't ready to settle down again so quickly. The other factor to consider is that you've only known her a year. You say she's doing things that are out of character, which may be true, but you would not be the best judge of that. She is showing you also now who she really is. She is the type that monkey-branches from one guy to the next, it appears. She is dropping breadcrumbs to ease her own guilt and perhaps keep you hooked in case she decides to bounce back to you. Avoid her; you will more than likely wind up hurt all over again if you don't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 I am a bit in your situation except for the ''rebound'' part. Yeah some women do not want to dump you the harsh way. When it takes her forever to reply to a simple text, thats breadcrumbs. She doesn't want to feel bad about dumping you albeit she is very awkward about it. I have no idea if you will ever reconnect, for now what you did is right. Block her. Try to heal and take time for yourself. The worst mistake you could do is obnoxiously chase or get back with her as from experience this CANNOT work. Link to post Share on other sites
ehern131 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 You were her rebound. As difficult as it may be... This is the reality. I'm sure she cared for you, but not enough. Stick to NC and don't bother wasting your time responding. You don't want to be anyone's 2nd option. Something similar happened to me not to long ago. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 So this new guy is the one she will be moving on with? I was the guy inbetween? Why is she doing those breadcrumps then? Who knows. They always through out breadcrumbs. It's very typical. Most like you want to read a lot into them but there's nothing there. You said it was amazing but obviously it wasn't on her end. Don't make the mistake of projecting your feelings ont her. That's not what she felt about you. Hence the breakup. Block and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
anthle702 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 crazy to think someone can say all of that but have different intentions.. I'm going through the same thing man. How long was she single before she met you Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 When a woman says a bunch of stuff that she doesn't back up, pay attention to her actions and not her words. It sounds like she's all messed up in the head and has some sort of personality disorder. I know it's hard to see right now, but be thankful she's somebody else's problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mountainbiker85 Posted December 12, 2017 Author Share Posted December 12, 2017 crazy to think someone can say all of that but have different intentions.. I'm going through the same thing man. How long was she single before she met you She was 3 months officially single but has been living next to him for half a year. They didn't talk anymore.. Her parents said that was true so that's why I believed she was really over him. She would never go back to that guy. She didn't but is now with someone who has the same things. her parents told me yesterday. They cannot stand the guy. He sat with them together and didn't say a word. Her father said they don't even cuddle or hold hands and so. With me she did that everywhere we went. Now that guy is the rebound of the rebound I think this girl needs to stay alone for awhile and think really good of what she really wants in life. I'm staying no contact. Saw her at Christmas village in town and just said hi and kept going. It's better like that. Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 How do you know so much about her? And who are you to have an opinion on what she should be doing? Bit creepy man, time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mountainbiker85 Posted December 12, 2017 Author Share Posted December 12, 2017 How do you know so much about her? And who are you to have an opinion on what she should be doing? Bit creepy man, time to move on. I’m doing that but it is hard when her family (father, aunts, uncles) keep calling me or seeying me in town. That’s where I get the info from. I allready told them to stop giving me false hope. Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 I’m doing that but it is hard when her family (father, aunts, uncles) keep calling me or seeying me in town. That’s where I get the info from. I allready told them to stop giving me false hope. These people are nothing to you anymore, simple. Block their numbers and bluntly tell them that you aren’t interested in ex’s doings. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 She is only 29 and had been in a serious relationship with a guy since she was 19, she jumped out of that and went straight into another "serious" relationship, realised it wasn't for her and has now found someone else. She never really had a chance to "date", so I doubt the taciturn pilot will float her boat either. I guess as she has been in a couple for so long, she will not like being alone, so maybe she will have a few of these quasi LTRs, till she finds out what she does really want. At 29, she is not your usual 29yo, she is in a time warp. Life stopped at 19 and now she is picking it up again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mountainbiker85 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Share Posted December 13, 2017 (edited) 3 days after running into her she just texted me: I really hope you are doing fine. I'm so sorry for everything. She's feels guilty I guess nothing more. I'm ignoring it and posting here instead. Edited December 13, 2017 by mountainbiker85 Link to post Share on other sites
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