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Ex contacted me after 3 months NC


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I dated this girl for 2 years, we loved each other very much but we were not good for each other, or at least we never successfully addressed the issues that plagued our relationship. I could not believe it when she decided to cut ties. We're both in college, it was long distance (2.5 hour drive). She broke things off with me in June, but then reached out to me after 2 weeks and we started dating again. We had a great summer, but then she broke up with me again at the beginning of September.

 

I went No Contact, deleted her on Facebook and Instagram and started the process of moving on with my life. I was doing really well, to the point where I didn't think about her much and I was happy with myself and my new life. But last Thursday she texts me "Hey" at 1am. JUST "hey" nothing else. I didn't respond. It was probably a drunk text, it was a breadcrumb, she was either lonely, wanted an ego stroke, or things weren't going well for her new guy. I find out from my friend she's been dating this other guy for a month. I never responded to her, she doesn't deserve a response, and if she really wanted to talk she can text me sober with more substance than "hey." But subconsciously I was building up hope of reconciliation from it without knowing it. I began thinking things must not being going well with the new guy and she'll probably reach out again to reconcile. Today was bad. I saw her social media and pics of her and the other guy and I started getting emotional. She actually posted a pic with the other guy 2 days after she texted me. WHY DID SHE TEXT ME? HOW CAN I GO BACK TO HOW I FELT BEFORE SHE TEXTED ME? I feel like I'm back at square one. I need help understanding why she would text me. I already know not to contact her. I hate how I have to go through this again.

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Dreamwalker17
I dated this girl for 2 years, we loved each other very much but we were not good for each other, or at least we never successfully addressed the issues that plagued our relationship. I could not believe it when she decided to cut ties. We're both in college, it was long distance (2.5 hour drive). She broke things off with me in June, but then reached out to me after 2 weeks and we started dating again. We had a great summer, but then she broke up with me again at the beginning of September.

 

I went No Contact, deleted her on Facebook and Instagram and started the process of moving on with my life. I was doing really well, to the point where I didn't think about her much and I was happy with myself and my new life. But last Thursday she texts me "Hey" at 1am. JUST "hey" nothing else. I didn't respond. It was probably a drunk text, it was a breadcrumb, she was either lonely, wanted an ego stroke, or things weren't going well for her new guy. I find out from my friend she's been dating this other guy for a month. I never responded to her, she doesn't deserve a response, and if she really wanted to talk she can text me sober with more substance than "hey." But subconsciously I was building up hope of reconciliation from it without knowing it. I began thinking things must not being going well with the new guy and she'll probably reach out again to reconcile. Today was bad. I saw her social media and pics of her and the other guy and I started getting emotional. She actually posted a pic with the other guy 2 days after she texted me. WHY DID SHE TEXT ME? HOW CAN I GO BACK TO HOW I FELT BEFORE SHE TEXTED ME? I feel like I'm back at square one. I need help understanding why she would text me. I already know not to contact her. I hate how I have to go through this again.

 

She reached out because she could.

Block her, and you’ll go back to how you felt beforr she texted you in no time.

And you’ll never have to feel like this again.

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Next time take an extra step and block.

 

You'll get there again. You've taken a stumble and at some point you'll get your bearings again. Unfortunately, her text was a slight derail. It won't stay that way for long.

 

You know why she texted you.

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Next time take an extra step and block.

 

You'll get there again. You've taken a stumble and at some point you'll get your bearings again. Unfortunately, her text was a slight derail. It won't stay that way for long.

 

You know why she texted you.

 

The thing is I do not know why she texted me, but I guess at the end of the day it doesn't matter. A small part of me still wants reconciliation, but unless she explicitly says it, I won't ever respond.

 

What is the point of blocking? I understand it makes it so that even if she reaches out I won't be able to see it, I'll be able to completely block her out of my life and move on. But what if she wants to reconcile? Isn't it good to at least leave that option open while I move on?

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trustyourself
The thing is I do not know why she texted me, but I guess at the end of the day it doesn't matter. A small part of me still wants reconciliation, but unless she explicitly says it, I won't ever respond.

 

What is the point of blocking? I understand it makes it so that even if she reaches out I won't be able to see it, I'll be able to completely block her out of my life and move on. But what if she wants to reconcile? Isn't it good to at least leave that option open while I move on?

 

I understand your mind set.

 

I blocked my ex on social media when she started seeing someone else. That helps a lot.

 

I have not blocked her number, as I think the same as you. But I will not respond to texts. If she calls, I might answer, but I told her explicitly not to contact me unless she wants to try things again.

 

Good luck man. Dont look at her social media!!

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I understand your mind set.

 

I blocked my ex on social media when she started seeing someone else. That helps a lot.

 

I have not blocked her number, as I think the same as you. But I will not respond to texts. If she calls, I might answer, but I told her explicitly not to contact me unless she wants to try things again.

 

Good luck man. Dont look at her social media!!

 

Good luck to you as well my friend. I'm glad you blocked her on social media. In my case, I never told her to not contact me unless she wants reconciliation, but I'm in no contact all the same. As long as we don't check their social media and don't contact them, I think we'll be just fine :)

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I can tell you that desperate feeling will go away, I've been thru so many break ups, and I know how it feels, like your emotions are being held hostage by this life event. But: THIS TO SHALL PASS.

 

Blocking her will help, but it's only when you come to terms with the permanence of being broken up, you will truly heal.

 

My ex texts me too. I was truly, madly deeply in love with him. And, I ignore it because nothing good for me comes out of responding. Nothing. So, he can carry the burden of anxiety of not knowinb, but I'm done. I've moved on.

 

And you will eventually move on from this situation too. It hurts like you about you can't even understand. I know, I've been there.

 

One thing I understand is I can't put my standards on someone else. It's my responsibility to protect my heart. And protect well.

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Alright I think I'm starting to go crazy. I've been trying to keep my resolve but honestly feel like I've taken 5 steps backwards in terms of healing. I wake up every morning sad bc the first thing that pops into my head is my ex, I've started to get dreams/nightmares about her. I need answers..

 

Why did she text me "hey"? After 3 months exactly of NC and at 1am, and considering she's been seeing this other guy since 1.5 months after the BU. I know "hey" should just be seen as saying hi and nothing more, but it's been 3 months of absolutely NC and the last time we spoke wasn't necessarily a good conversation (it was the BU). She's also a very proud person, so considering all of this, I can't help but see her texting me out of the blue as something more. I know her, and I can't help but reach the conclusion that it's bc she's emotional/misses me/it was a bumpy patch w this new guy she's seeing. And the fact that she posted an instagram pic w him (it's a big deal trust me) 2 days after she texted me/I ignored her makes me think she's compensating for me ignoring her. It makes me think that since I didn't respond, she took it as I don't want anything to do with her and that she should just stick with this other guy. I didn't respond bc I'm putting my healing first, but obviously a part of me still wants reconciliation and so I don't want her to think I don't want anything to do with her. A part of me still loves her. I'm so lost.

 

it's been 12 days since that text and nothing has been said between us if that helps.

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She DUMPED you TWICE and yet you don't block her?

Let me solve the mystery for you- she texted you because you ALLOW it by not blocking her. It was a breadcrumb and you took it and now your thinking about the possible MEANING behind it when its really simple:EGO.

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