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back, this time as the dumper


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so I haven't been on here in a long time. I was here years ago when I went through a particularly bad breakup. I was in a toxic relationship which resulted in an even worse breakup. That guy is long gone, time and full no contact (mostly) healed those wounds.

 

Fast forward five years, I graduated college and moved to a big city. I had dated since my first breakup, but finding someone I click with is tough. I haven't had real feelings for anyone. Until I met someone new. At first I didn't take it too seriously, but then I fell for him. and it seemed like he had fallen for me, too. We dated for about four of five months but never made things official. Then things changed. He stopped texting as much, stopped initiating any plans to hang out and would dodge plans that I made. He checked out of the relationship, for several reasons that I guess ultimately don't matter, but still carried on as if things were fine. He has some of his own depression issues, and they're legitimate and I understand that, but it was clear I wasn't any sort of a priority.

 

So I ended things. I told him that I deserved someone that wanted me. He apologized, claimed his checking out wasn't intentional, claimed it wasn't about me. He said a lot of nice things... that I treated him better than most people in his life ever had, that he cared about me deeply, etc. but, to his credit I guess, didn't even pretend that he would be making more of an effort in the future. I told him I wasn't willing to go without it, and that was that. I deleted his contact information. That was two days ago.

 

I know I made the right choice, but I'm angry and sad right now. I'm sad because I connected with this guy, trusted this guy, and really liked this guy. I thought we could have been good together. and I'm angry. Angry that despite all of the nice things he claimed to feel about me, it wasn't worth it to him to put the effort in and fight for this I guess part of it is ego & insecurity. Why was I not worth the effort? Why were the feelings not mutual?

 

What a let down.

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There's someone else he's seeing or he has another life going on that he wasn't honest with you about. Been there, going through it right now. They don't have the guts to tell you the truth just in case they need to come back.

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This type of thing happened to me. Got dumped in 2015. Stayed single for a good year or so. Started dating. Found it quite easy for people to fall for me but I just wasn't feeling it with anyone, at least not a high enough level.

 

Then middle of this year, I met someone and I did feel something. Sadly it lasted about a month and she called it off. She told me she thought I was overly emotional which was funny to me because I have been a rock since I was dumped and most of my friends etc say that since the breakup I have been emotionless and very head strong.

 

I guess its just that because I felt something, I must have shown some type of vulnerability that this girl I dated picked up on.

 

I'm guessing this is what has happened here with you. This guy probably picked up on the fact you were excited about things. Who can blame you, you haven't felt it for 5 years.

 

The trick is.. next time you feel something.... try to contain your excitement a little more and you never know.... things might progress further.

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