I don't know

[Reyw124]

Ok my first ex gf broke up with me recently and the reasons were my clingyness, my insecurites, my depression, my negativity (i was nagging on and on about my arguments with my mom.), her strict parents, and it was a long distance relationship.

I was her first bf and we're both 15 and in high school as sophomores.

We met in middle school she was super nice and caring. I never had a girl act like that with me before. We had small talk through out the months, and i started to like her at the end of the year. I got her number in the summer and we started to text everyday. i eventually told her i liked her, she said she felt the same way. We became closer throughout the months and we had a secret date. Later on i joined a Muay Thai Gym (its thailand boxing and i feel like it later on dragged me down.) and around that time i was super happy and she was too. Then she starts questioning our relationship, she starts telling me guys are having a crush on her. she then told me this "yea if there was a better guy i would pick him". She later on claimed that i became super clingy and sad after that. I remember I wasn't motivated to go to Muay Thai and my mom started getting mad at me. The reason why she was getting mad was because the gym i went to had a contract and I couldn't cancel the membership. That put pressure on me and I became super depressed and stressed. My ex wasnt happy with me and each day it became more and more awkward. Then i started nagging about my mom and i having arguments. she soon after that became uncomfortable, so i wanted to take a break for 3 weeks without texting. 3 weeks later i text back she starts becoming "busy", she didnt answer fast anymore so I became extremely worried. So i begin trying to fix the relationship doing everything like it was before but it wasnt natural. she then told me she doesnt love me anymore, i started spam texting her for awhile asking her to give me one more chance. I eventually stopped doing that and i asked to be friends with her, she and i realized i wasnt ready (i thought i moved on). So we havent talked in about a month and I texted her" I want to be friends but for now I'm trying to improve myself and I'm sorry how I acted". She later on replied saying thank you for not being mad at me. I didn't reply and just started doing my own thing for awhile. But then i started listening to sad music a few months later and i texted her do you want to go to homecoming with me (i wasnt thinking at all.) She said no and ended the convo in bad terms. That was 2 months ago and recently a guy texted me if a photo with me in it was actually me on instagram. I said yea, he said "dope?" and started to follow me. A few days later he blocks me. I made a different account and saw a pic of my ex and him. That totally crushed me I wanted to text her but i knew she wouldn't answer and that it would make things worse between us so I didnt. So now im doing homeschool, Im trying to fix the family issues i have, try to move on and not think about her. But I miss her so badly and I'm asking myself these questions, Was she a bad girlfriend? Was i a bad boyfriend? What couldve i done and what can i do now? Can you give me feedback and any advice would be helpful.

Thanks

Edited November 26, 2017 by Reyw124

[Mystyry]

So many things seem different at this age. Don't mean to minimize your pain, as I know it's real. Just do you. Stay in school, fix your issues, focus on the future. All of this will pass and sooner than you think.

[Aiuta le mani]

Hey! I see that you took time and dedication to write your story and ask for feedback and advice! I want to honor your effort and take a pass at your questions and your request! I think that you are on the right track by asking for feedback and advice! It is very brave for you to open your heart here and be willing to share your story with others. You mentioned that she gave you some reasons to break up. Have you taken time to reflect on these reasons? I see that you said that you wanted to improve yourself! That is a great approach to life! Taking a deeper look at what she mentioned can help you learn for future relationships. It seems to me that both you and your ex-gf were trying to figure out what kind of relationship you were having and what were the expectations of the other person about each other. Try not to focus on whether you were a good or bad bf. Instead, think about what are your expectations for a future relationship and what you are willing to give based on what you have learned from this experience. I want to encourage you to talk to a friend or a counselor that you can trust about this situation and get some additional feedback and advice that is more specific to your situation. Someone that knows you and cares about you might be able to give you a more personal perspective. I hope this helps you gain some perspective and that you have been able to improve your relationship with your Mom as part of fixing your family issues.

[HumanMachine]

This exact post has been posted under a different user.

[sdraw108]

Here's what I suggest:

 

1. Maintain NC (No Contact) until you reach a point where you're completely indifferent about what she's up to. That means no messages, block / unfriend her on everything, make sure you can't see what she's up to. If you pass her in the hallway at school be polite but don't engage.

 

2. Learn lessons from what you did that might have pushed her away. Try to grow as a person and don't be clingy next time.

 

3. Try not to over analyze anything. At your age, relationships come and go as people are figuring out who they are and trying new things. There isn't always a particular reason for it.

 

4. Remember that you're young and just starting your dating career. There will be many more girls after this. Some will be good and some will be bad. There will be happy moments as well as heartbreak. In the scheme of things, this particular girl doesn't mean anything and when you get older you will barely remember her name.

 

5. Focus on yourself. Have fun and enjoy your teenage years. You only get to be young once!