vanhendrix Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years. We had very strong love for one another. About 4 months ago her mother died, she became very distant. I understood after awhile to just leave her alone and let her grieve. This worked, i just started doing my own thing and its like she could just sense this. We were flirting with each other again, going on dates, things were heating back up. Now to my mistake. She mentioned she had some xanax, i found them and took some. She asked me later if i took some of her xanax because she noticed some missing. I said no, i lied because i just didnt want to rock the boat, i was just so happy that we were heating back up and didnt want to hamper this. She said well it must be my daughter or her friends cause yall are the only people that have been in my house. She let it go, and i never fessed up. A week later i took some of her daughters ADHD medication, because i also have ADHD and wanted to try it. She called me later and asked me if i took some of those pills, i said yes. She was not happy to say the least. I get back to her house and what clothes i had there were in a bag by the door along with some tools i had there. I got my things and left, tried calling and she wouldn't answer. She messaged me and said she does not want to talk right now, she is hurt and disappointed. I quickly write and apology with zero response. 2 days later i go ahead and message her, in short, i also took the xanax and i know you are going to end this relationship now. After that she went to our snapchat and removed everything she had saved in our chats history from 2 years worth of stuff. 2 days after this i send her a sincere apology telling her i know you need some space to think all of this through, i learn from my mistakes and will do whatever it takes to earn you trust back, i never intended to hurt you, but i did and will regret my actions more than you'll ever know, i ended the letter with, take all the time you need, i will wait to hear back from you. Today is day 5 since i sent the email, and still no response from her at all. Now after reading this you must think i'm some kinda drug head, i'm not. I get drug tested at work. She knows this. It was just a slip up. When she went into her grieving i was having bad anxiety and when she said she had xanax thats why i took some, for my next panic attack. Anyways, i just don't know what to do now. i want to message her and ask how her ear is, she had an ear infection, but i know i need to just leave her alone. This hurts so bad, i cant stop thinking about her. I have laid in bed for 5 days, mostly. Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 Just a slip up? Seriously? Thanking other people's prescription drugs is NOT normal behaviour. She has a child. She's decided you're not safe to have around. Move on and wise up. Some stuff is not forgiveable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I believe this is pretty strange behavior. Stealing medication is not something that most people do, and might be a sign of addiction. You have been lying and stealing from a person that you claim to love. I think that you need to reevaluate your choices and not be in this relationship. It is not just a slip up darling. Wish you the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 You blew it. You stole from her and you stole from her daughter. I don't think this relationship is salvageable. I think you have serious work to do on yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanhendrix Posted November 19, 2017 Author Share Posted November 19, 2017 (edited) I know i made a very poor decision. It is completely out of my character. I told her that i deserve to lose her over this and i do, i know. I have been around those pills for 2 years and never once touched them. I do have an addictive personality, but i'm not addicted to anything. I told my uncle who is a devote christian and cardiologist what i have done, he said way worse things happen in relationships and if she cant forgive you for this then she is doing you a favor. She even told her sister i was the perfect boyfriend. I did everything right. I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn her trust back. Edited November 19, 2017 by vanhendrix Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I know i made a very poor decision. It is completely out of my character. I told her that i deserve to lose her over this and i do, i know. I have been around those pills for 2 years and never once touched them. I do have an addictive personality, but i'm not addicted to anything. I told my uncle who is a devote christian and cardiologist what i have done, he said way worse things happen in relationships and if she cant forgive you for this then she is doing you a favor. She even told her sister i was the perfect boyfriend. I did everything right. I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn her trust back. Worse things do happen, he is right. Much worse. But she has a child. She can't risk that kind of dangerous behaviour around her child. I agree with her. I'd have done the same. If it was just me, no child, maybe not. But kids are vulnerable and she can't have an addict around a child. Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I know i made a very poor decision. It is completely out of my character. I told her that i deserve to lose her over this and i do, i know. I have been around those pills for 2 years and never once touched them. I do have an addictive personality, but i'm not addicted to anything. I told my uncle who is a devote christian and cardiologist what i have done, he said way worse things happen in relationships and if she cant forgive you for this then she is doing you a favor. She even told her sister i was the perfect boyfriend. I did everything right. I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn her trust back. A devote Christian you say? Listen to this man, he knows the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanhendrix Posted November 19, 2017 Author Share Posted November 19, 2017 I'm thinking about seeing a councilor, not to primarily save the relationship but to get down to what my problem really is to have done something like this. Ive thought about going for a couple of days now. After reading y'alls reaction, i really think i should go talk to someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 If a woman I was dating behaved like you I would get rid of her immediately. I have two daughters and I don't have time for that sort of crap. Move along 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 Your uncle being a Christian and cardiologist -- what has that got to do with boundaries that are important to your girlfriend and stealing and lying being dealbreakers in her relationship? He has no say in defining what's acceptable and unacceptable. You've broken boundaries twice. She's doing what's best for her and her child. I wouldn't want someone abusing prescription drugs around my family as well. Work on managing your addictive personality. Invest in seeing a professional. Testing other people's drugs to manage your issues is not the answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanhendrix Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 Wow! She called me and is giving me a chance. She made me promise to never do that again and that if i want anything to just ask. She said we need to take it slow though. She wants me to go to the doctor and get my own prescription for ADHD cause she knows i have it bad. I guess true love will always find a way. We love each other deeply, i guees its like if your brother did this to you. You wouldn’t just banish him, probably at first while your angry, you would work with him, try to help him. Intervention! Thats real love. Thanks for all the advice. Whoo woo back on top of the world baby!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 (edited) Just to add to everyone else's sentiments, I think stealing from her daughter is even worse than stealing from her. The latter is a relationship issue, the former is actually creepy. It makes me shudder just to think about it. On the plus side you seem to genuinely acknowledge that what you did was wrong. Hopefully the fallout will teach you a valuable life lesson and you won't do anything like this again. Relationships are all about sharing, so next time you want something that belongs to her, just ask (as she said). If I were you I'd spent the next few weeks regularly expressing to her that you regret what you did, are surprised at yourself, have learnt from it, etc. She'll need to be convinced in her mind that you're genuine about it, so that she doesn't end up stuck with permanent lingering doubts. Edited November 20, 2017 by sdraw108 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Wow! She called me and is giving me a chance. She made me promise to never do that again and that if i want anything to just ask. She said we need to take it slow though. She wants me to go to the doctor and get my own prescription for ADHD cause she knows i have it bad. I guess true love will always find a way. We love each other deeply, i guees its like if your brother did this to you. You wouldn’t just banish him, probably at first while your angry, you would work with him, try to help him. Intervention! Thats real love. Thanks for all the advice. Whoo woo back on top of the world baby!!! Good for you. Don't ever make such a horrible choice again. Link to post Share on other sites
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