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What's everyone's thoughts about rebound sex & reconciliation


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 10th November 2017, 11:10 AM   #1
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What's everyone's thoughts about rebound sex & reconciliation

Basically me and a current gf had some issues where we actually decided to take a break 5 weeks ago. 5 days later we bumped into each other and got to talking. We ended up dating/getting back together but the resentment from her side was still there for something I'd said during the initial argument that ended us. Anyway 3 weeks of meeting and dating she said she loves me but can't forgive what I'd said and... we broke up for good. That's was just over 2 week ago. Anyway 4 days ago she text me, we met up and honestly things have [] been amazing.

The problem is she's told me she told me she needs to be honest as wants this to work, she told me she slept with someone else. I know I have no right to be mad at her but it's crushed me. I wouldn't mind if it was months after but it was the following day. Wed had the break, then started seeing each other and when she ended it she went out 2 days later and in her words she just needed to forget me and get drunk. She slept with a complete stranger and says she regrets it and it made her realise she was doing it childishly because she wanted to be over me and felt it would help. She says she never expected us to get back together.

Now my problem is part of me thinks it's as good as it is now only because she feels guilty for what she's done. Am I right to be feeling sick at the thought of this? I've never done rebounds infact I've had 3 serious relationships and the quickest I'd slept with anyone else was 4 months after.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th November 2017 at 11:49 AM.. Reason: Clarify description
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:12 AM   #2
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Walk away and never look back. This relationship is unrepairable.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:14 AM   #3
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Sorry it won't let me edit. Thing HAVE been amazing.. not things have never*
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:22 AM   #4
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And they will be.. until the next argument and then youíll be in exactly the same position.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:24 AM   #5
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If I were you in your position Iíd leave her in the past. If she was capable of sleeping with another man that soon, sheís immature and doesnít know what she wants. Itís not so much that she slept with him but the timing of it. Itís just ridiculous.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:25 AM   #6
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That's the thing that's bothering me she keeps saying sorry and says it's made her feel sick. She does genuinely seem upset by what she's done and regrets it but it's doing my head in when it enters my head I feel sick that she could do that just to get back at me in some way. Or that's how it feels.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:27 AM   #7
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What possible benefit could she receive from you by being truthful about a ONS with another man the day after she broke up with you? I mean, think about it. It sounds like gushing honesty, right? Well, remember how things have gone. The pieces will fit together eventually. Men play checkers. Women play 3D chess. Deal with enough of them though and we begin to figure it out. Begin

Taking it at face value, your relationship styles are incompatible. That doesn't mean things won't change; they might, especially if you're both young.

Since you've apparently had three other relationships, they come, if not easily, regularly. The next one will be little different. Take your four months, recharge and enjoy the next one. This one has run its course. End it on a positive note accepting her apparent honesty and say goodbye.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:30 AM   #8
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I don't think "breaks" ever work.

It just shows you are willing to walk away from each other, and do not posses conflict resolution skills.

Time to move on - this sill never be happily ever after. You two will meet another challenge, and things will fall apart again.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:31 AM   #9
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She told me because she said she doesn't want anything to ruin the 2nd time round and now knows what she wants. As I say part of me feels it's guilt another part of me knows she's never been like that before in her previous relationship so I dont know what To do. We aren't kids either. I'm early 30s she's late 20s.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:58 AM   #10
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You really gotta think if YOU will be able to get over it. Some people think it's okay and can get over it no problem, for other people it's a deal breaker. In my personal experience I took someone back once after her doing something like this, and I held resentment for the rest of the relationship, which, by the way, ended with her leaving me and doing the same thing again.

Is this something you can accept and get over without holding resentment? Can you really put 100% back into the relationship again knowing she can leave and do something like that and she won't do it again? Personally I wouldn't do it, that wouldn't be the mother of my children no matter how great they were and how much chemistry we had or whatever. If they can do it once they can do it again, and usually it happens when you need them to be there for you the most, like in moments when you're struggling, or you're in a moment of weakness, or when they seem dissatisfied for whatever reason.
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Old 10th November 2017, 12:06 PM   #11
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I think there is definitely something to the idea that her guilt might be fueling why things have been so AMAZING right now.

Just know that this is one bubble about to burst.

It always does.

RecentChange was BANG ON about people who 'take breaks'.

It doesn't matter if you can get over her f*cking some stranger the night before masquerading it as "I needed to forget about you" bologna. Excuses.

You have bigger problems here to work through as far as I'm concerned.
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