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Ex moved on to some guy??? Is she lying? are they lying?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 9th November 2017, 7:48 PM   #1
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Ex moved on to some guy??? Is she lying? are they lying?

It's been a few months since the breakup, and my ex said she didn't want to be in a relationship/could't be in a relationship as her reason for excuse. Aka she just wants to enjoy college and be single. However, 2 of my friends just texted me telling me that she is now talking to some guy, which is a shocker, since I believed her true reasoning. I know it's winter season/cuff season, so many people want relationships, since it's the best time to cuddle, enjoy the holidays, and etc. (Even I do too but with her only). Regardless, it's devastating to hear I confronted her on text, and she denies it, saying it's just rumors. She seems genuine about it, but Idk if I can believe her. Some dots don't make sense -.- However, my friends who told me about this are people I have to listen to with a grain of salt, since they've blew things up out of proportion before/lied about some stuff to me before too. Thus, idk who to believe.
In addition, she told me she can not trust me and is still angry for what I did to lost her trust. (some stupid emotional cheating stuff). Yet, I regret it so much and have apologized to her on a constant basis yesterday as we messaged back and forth. It was the first time of contact since 4 weeks ago too.

Do y'all think she's moved on to some guy and is just lying to me rn? I would be super pissed if this is true. How can my friends just make that up ? But why would she just deny it completely rn...ik she cares or cared enough to not lie like that? There must be some truth on both sides.
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:56 PM   #2
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Have you considered that she thought she wanted to be single and then met someone who she feels she could have a future with? It's not a crime to change one's mind....especially as the breakup was a couple of months ago.

At any rate, you have no right to be angry at her. You lost her trust, so she moved on. That's the way it goes.

Last edited by basil67; 9th November 2017 at 7:59 PM..
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:59 PM   #3
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Okay well here’s the hard truth. Let’s hope you can handle it .....

1. You cheated! Emotional or physical women see it the same you are screwed !
2. She broke up with you so it’s over and you don’t have a leg to stand on.. that means she can date whoever he wants and not have to give you any explanation as can you
3. Leave her alone if you want your best chance for her to come back or reconsider things ... this playing detective nonsense is going to make you look crazy and senile so drop it and move on and focus on you until you can see things for what they are


I agree with basil someone could have changed her mind but you never know there’s some pretty bad guys out there so you could have a chance but for now just focus on you and heal

Last edited by Purepony; 9th November 2017 at 8:07 PM..
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:08 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
Have you considered that she thought she wanted to be single and then met someone who she feels she could have a future with? It's not a crime to change one's mind....especially as the breakup was a couple of months ago.

At any rate, you have no right to be angry at her. You lost her trust, so she moved on. That's the way it goes.
Tbh, her best friend and her bf don't like me, thus they are pushing for her and their good guy friend to be together. And if it's like that, I feel like she might be confused and just go with the flow like she has been. However, when it comes to seeing a future, she might rn since it's fresh and new. Yet, nothing could even be happening and this is all just rumors and gossip. But if it is, I really don't know if there is a future there. I heard he was chasing for some other girl a few weeks ago. Thus, this might just be to kill time and have a companion for the time being, especially it's the winter season and cuff season. Most people want to get in a relationship at this time of the year.
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:14 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Purepony View Post
Okay well hereís the hard truth. Letís hope you can handle it .....

1. You cheated! Emotional or physical women see it the same you are screwed !
2. She broke up with you so itís over and you donít have a leg to stand on.. that means she can date whoever he wants and not have to give you any explanation as can you
3. Leave her alone if you want your best chance for her to come back or reconsider things ... this playing detective nonsense is going to make you look crazy and senile so drop it and move on and focus on you until you can see things for what they are


I agree with basil someone could have changed her mind but you never know thereís some pretty bad guys out there so you could have a chance but for now just focus on you and heal
1) Sadly, i've been super regretful and apologetic to her. I've only been trying to prove to her that the action does not reflect who I am. She initially said she's over it but just won't forget. Yet, she told me she is still angry deep down last night when we talked.
2) But idk why though. She said she doesn't want any relationships though .. even a few weeks ago when we met up in person. In addition, if she's lying right now, that's messed up.
3) I feel like if she's single for awhile or if this "guy" doesn't work out, something may come into place. We're in different cities rn, but hopefully I can prove to myself and her that I made a mistake, but i'm really not a person like that.

Thank you for your response! I know her friends and the people she's been surrounding herself with aren't that great of people. Even some close friends of hers say she's changed a bit - going out, partying, and hanging with the ppl she's hanging with. Yet, this could just be the "college life" that she wants to explore.
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:20 PM   #6
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Hereís my actual experience

I cheated on my 6 year gf emotionally, well the girl gave me a bj and I stopped it but thatís as far as I went and after that I text her to leave me alone because I was getting myself into a mess so I stopped talking to her but my gf went thru my phone and found the message so anyways she broke up with me and I begged her to stay, o offeeed counseling, I tried anything because I really wanted to work it out

But she left and six months later we got back together weíll more likentried to make it work but she canít get over it and honestly I finally realized that itís better to walk away because itís more trouble than itís worth... now I love her and I still do but she canít let go and I wonít have her throwing this at my face everyday like she did.
3 months after we started talking again I left

We havenít spoken or text or anything and itís almost a month but the truth is I feel great !!

So I understand your situation and I assure you either way it will get better for you
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:25 PM   #7
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I understand you're hurting Mike, but the messed up part isn't that she's not confiding in your or telling you the truth. The messed up part is that you seem to still believe it's your business. Now that you've broken up, she doesn't owe you explanations about what she's doing.

Even if they are seeing each other, it may not be anything serious enough to report on anyway.
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:37 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
I understand you're hurting Mike, but the messed up part isn't that she's not confiding in your or telling you the truth. The messed up part is that you seem to still believe it's your business. Now that you've broken up, she doesn't owe you explanations about what she's doing.

Even if they are seeing each other, it may not be anything serious enough to report on anyway.

Well, I was told that she's talking to some other guy, but I was also told that I'm the one spreading this "rumor". Therefore, I talked to my ex about it, and even she was surprised that this rumor was spreading and was surprised/confused that it was from me. I definitely didn't do it, and that's why I talked to her about this whole situation, since I didn't want my name thrown into this kind of immature gossip. Idk whats going on, but I just know the past 3-4 weeks was better, since I didn't think of her as much until now. I now know I'm not over her, if I feel this way from hearing this
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:41 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Purepony View Post
Hereís my actual experience

I cheated on my 6 year gf emotionally, well the girl gave me a bj and I stopped it but thatís as far as I went and after that I text her to leave me alone because I was getting myself into a mess so I stopped talking to her but my gf went thru my phone and found the message so anyways she broke up with me and I begged her to stay, o offeeed counseling, I tried anything because I really wanted to work it out

But she left and six months later we got back together weíll more likentried to make it work but she canít get over it and honestly I finally realized that itís better to walk away because itís more trouble than itís worth... now I love her and I still do but she canít let go and I wonít have her throwing this at my face everyday like she did.
3 months after we started talking again I left

We havenít spoken or text or anything and itís almost a month but the truth is I feel great !!

So I understand your situation and I assure you either way it will get better for you

I hope so!

I feel like this would have gotten better, but her friends are pushing her forward and to not think about me. She did miss me before, wanted to give friends a try, missed telling me everything and anything, and etc. Yet, it seems like with school, friends, and maybe this guy now, she seems to have her mind set that I'm the bad person and my action was why she broke up with me. Yet, she broke up with me bc she said she didnt want a relationship (maybe bc she's still young and wants to explore the last two years of college). Now, it seems like she's going back on that bc all her friends are in relationships and they most likely are pushing for something. They are probably talking mess about me and all, since it seems like my action that she found out later after the breakup is the core reason why we're at this state
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:44 PM   #10
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Here's some evergreen advice going forward. When someone says they want to break up with you because they need time to be alone, don't believe them.
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:54 PM   #11
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Here's some evergreen advice going forward. When someone says they want to break up with you because they need time to be alone, don't believe them.
Why do you think that? I believed her for quite a while. But now, I'm a bit confused since her actions aren't connecting to her things she said...Even two weeks ago she said she didn't want anyone, but now... -.-
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Old 9th November 2017, 11:42 PM   #12
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If you cheat on someone u don't really love them.
And yes its hard to forgive that after all you betrayed her and only admitted it AFTER you got caught. You would have never told her other wise.
In my own experience I couldn't forgive it as well. Other then cheating I can't really think of a worse thing you can do to someone.
You messed up. And the sad thing is I bet yo can't even answer as to why you did it.
See what you don't realize is that you've shown her the ability to not only cheat on her but to actually LIE to her face and that puts her at risk if she's to stay with you because what's to prevent it again??
You ruined it. So I'd just leave her alone.
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Old 9th November 2017, 11:59 PM   #13
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If you cheat on someone u don't really love them.
And yes its hard to forgive that after all you betrayed her and only admitted it AFTER you got caught. You would have never told her other wise.
In my own experience I couldn't forgive it as well. Other then cheating I can't really think of a worse thing you can do to someone.
You messed up. And the sad thing is I bet yo can't even answer as to why you did it.
See what you don't realize is that you've shown her the ability to not only cheat on her but to actually LIE to her face and that puts her at risk if she's to stay with you because what's to prevent it again??
You ruined it. So I'd just leave her alone.
I totally understand, and I don't blame her either. Honestly, what I did was terrible and was because she neglected me and pushed us further away from each other. It could be bc of her depressive episodes or whatever, but I should have just communicated and told her I felt neglected and wish she would just talk/hang out like we did before. Yet, I didn't communicate as well as I did with her nor did I just suck it up because I knew what we had was one of a kind. My mistakes are stupid, and I just regret it a lot. But yes, I'm going to leave her alone, since contact never helps. it just pushes her away.
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Old 10th November 2017, 12:25 AM   #14
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Sheís single and can do whatever she pleases, whatís the problem?
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Old 10th November 2017, 8:51 AM   #15
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You two are broken up. You have no say in how she lives her life now.

When she broke up with you, your EX may have wanted to be alone. I would assume her statement was true at the time she told you that.

It's been a few months since you two broke up. It's hardly realistic to think that she would stay single forever or that she would not move on.

Your friends who reported to you that she's "talking" to a new guy told you what they saw. Watching her talk to another man is not proof that she's dating the man.

You foolishly & arrogantly confronted her. You have no right to confront her about anything. Who she's dating is no longer any of your business. She nevertheless answered your Q. Her saying "it's just rumors" is her way of telling you that she isn't dating the guy -- they are just talking / just friends. You have to be smart enough to realize she may be heading toward dating him but she is free to do that & you don't get a say.

Just block her out of your life already. Go chase the girl you had the EA with.
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