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Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 28th October 2017, 10:03 AM   #16
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You guys are all right. I’m holding onto hope and over analyzing just to find comfort in things that mean nothing. Thank you. I’ll use what you guys have said to fuel my no contact and to not forget why I’m avoiding her. Do you guys have any other tips for me? Anything would be helpful. I will block her number btw been.

Last edited by Alo2008; 28th October 2017 at 10:05 AM..
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Old 31st October 2017, 10:23 AM   #17
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Question Extreme stress after break up normal?

My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago, and I have been NC for two weeks now, but every couple days or so I have dreams about her. These dreams are so intense and upsetting. I can feel the emotions Iíd feel if that situation were actually happening, and when I wake up my heart is pounding ridiculously from all the stress and emotion these dreams put me through. This doesnít only happen with dreams though. Sometimes when I think of her at random times my heart will beat so intensely and out of rhythm as if I just ran tens of miles in seconds. I know itís because of the break up because this has literally never happened before. Iíve been healthy my whole life with absolutely no heart problems. What do you guys think about these occurrences? And if you guys have any suggestions as to how I can prevent dreams about her that would be much appreciated.
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Old 31st October 2017, 11:02 AM   #18
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What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. A lot of people have dreams, or nightmares, about their ex EVERY night. I'm not aware of any way to prevent them. Don't worry about it too much, they will dissipate over time.
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Old 31st October 2017, 11:54 AM   #19
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I understand that the dreams are normal, but the physical strain itís literally having on my heart is whatís bothering me. I donít know if thatís normal. Iím not sure if itís the dream itself or the stress from the split. I just wanted to see what you guys thought about it.
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Old 31st October 2017, 12:04 PM   #20
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That feeling of lonelyness before you fall asleep.. that instant gutting feeling of missing them when you wake up

Yeah that lasts
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Old 31st October 2017, 12:49 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by HumanMachine View Post
That feeling of lonelyness before you fall asleep.. that instant gutting feeling of missing them when you wake up

Yeah that lasts

I hate it.
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Old 31st October 2017, 1:11 PM   #22
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I lost 20 pounds the first month.
It sucks but u will get through
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Old 31st October 2017, 1:32 PM   #23
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Yep. It's heartbreak.

When I lost an ex a few years ago, I lost a good 10 pounds myself. Had irregular heart beats that would feel like it was beating out of my chest as you described. My chest felt heavy and it was hard to breathe. I slept all the time during the day but couldn't sleep at all in the night. At best, 2-3 hours. She'd be on my mind well into the night. The moment I woke up, thoughts of her would flood into my mind. She would come back every few months trying to reconnect for what I knew were selfish reasons and I would still let her. Nothing happened and it always ended in a fight. Broke my heart each and everytime, prolonged the agony and the emotional damage it did to me was irreperable. That's what happens when you let someone who's no good for you stick in your life for too long. The damage can be permanent. Hopefully for you, you will make a full recovery.
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Last edited by Beachead; 31st October 2017 at 1:35 PM..
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Old 31st October 2017, 1:42 PM   #24
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It sounds like anxiety and a bit of panic. You could go to the doctor and get a temporary prescription if it's that bad.

If I were you, I'd focus on the negative things about her. It helps. Rather than put her on a pedestal, you need to firmly place her in the ditch where she belongs.
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Old 31st October 2017, 1:49 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Alo2008 View Post
My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago, and I have been NC for two weeks now, but every couple days or so I have dreams about her. These dreams are so intense and upsetting. I can feel the emotions Iíd feel if that situation were actually happening, and when I wake up my heart is pounding ridiculously from all the stress and emotion these dreams put me through. This doesnít only happen with dreams though. Sometimes when I think of her at random times my heart will beat so intensely and out of rhythm as if I just ran tens of miles in seconds. I know itís because of the break up because this has literally never happened before. Iíve been healthy my whole life with absolutely no heart problems. What do you guys think about these occurrences? And if you guys have any suggestions as to how I can prevent dreams about her that would be much appreciated.

Absolutely normal- I was in the same boat as you at first, and didn't have a clue what was happening physically- insomnia/nightmares, hammering heart as if I had just ran a marathon- for days on end.

Went to the doctor, and was prescribed beta blockers, seemed to help. It's all kind of ongoing though. The heart arrhythmia has calmed down, but buckle down for a long ride with the psychological stuff, like dreams etc.

Good luck.
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Old 31st October 2017, 1:55 PM   #26
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I'm experiencing the exact same thing right now with my break up. My heart is racing almost the whole days, as soon as I think about him it starts again and almost jumps out the chest. I'm constantly freezing as well and it feels like a have a huge black whole in my stomache that haven't disappeared at all since he broke up 14 days ago. I'm also waking up sweating but freezing every night becasue of the dreams of him. I think it's as a previous comments stated, anxiety and panic attacks. And it is so horrible and dreadful that I'm very unsure if it ever going to disapear or feel better anytime soon. I don't have any heart issues as well, so I'm pretty sure it's my body reacting to the break up event and NC rather than a heart disease. So I feel you!
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Old 31st October 2017, 2:46 PM   #27
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Thumbs up

Thank you all for the input. Itís so relieving to know that it isnít anything abnormal. I think Iím moving on fairly well. The dreams do hit me hard sometimes, but I try to focus on my future and my goals. She isnít a part of that anymore, so I focus on whatís left for me which is a lot. Iíve just never had any experience with anxiety or panic attacks, let alone heart arrhythmia. This must be what people meant by a literal heartbreak lol. I hope you are all fighting through it strong. Iím taking things day by day which is a big improvements to before when I was taking it hour by hour. I think weíll all soon be able to make great progression towards improving ourselves. Right now I think Iím on the right path. I just hope this whole heart thing can calm down soon.
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Old 31st October 2017, 2:51 PM   #28
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I've been there and it sucks! I now look at it like a alchy/druggie in the stages of 'withdraw'. Hang in there..you'll feel better before too long.

Also use this feeling of heart pain as a reminder to not break NC. That will only set you back.
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Old 31st October 2017, 2:57 PM   #29
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Praying4Daylight thatís a great idea actually. I think the next time I get the urge to break Nc Iíll think about the heart arrhythmia Iím experiencing. Itís just another reason for me to stay strong and move forward.
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Old 1st November 2017, 4:33 PM   #30
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Break-ups are a challenge

First, I'm really sorry about this. Break-ups are a -10 on a 1-10 fun scale. Ugh. You could always go to the doctor to get checked on but in my experience with extreme anxiety is that it will pass with time--especially after a breakup. Focus on other soothing activities, like things you enjoy, and talk it out with friends, or a pastor, or a counselor. For me, when I can gush the hurt out with words to whomever, it really helps relieve tension.
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