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Over reacting?


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Old 9th November 2017, 7:21 AM   #1
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Over reacting?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months. We've established some rules in the relationship. one of them happens to be when we argue, we take a couple of steps back. Then come back to each other on a very neutral platform and discuss the things about our relationship. I have been communicating on my end to him about how I feel without sounding like I am attacking him.

I always choose my words carefully so that way, I am expressing how I feel rather than point fingers at him. Today we had a heated argument. I simply gave off the vibe of not caring anymore. I stopped communicating with him on how I feel because it will end up going back to a loop. I stopped acting like i cared. When he was pointing fingers, I apologized. He got upset because I had stopped showing that I cared.

He then proceeded to tell me i was being unreasonable and my actions giving him monotonous answers drove him nuts. I said I am not tolerating with him calling me unreasonable because I have tried communicating to him how I feel but he does not reciprocate back. He harassed me over text by saying I act very emotionally and mentally abusive. I did not stand for that.

I blocked him on social media and everything else. He did the same. I wanted to have him chase me but knowing that he didn't. I know he doesn't take the relationship seriously. Am I over reacting? At this point, does he even care? The last thing he sent me was, "I'm blocking your number too. Don't bother to call." I am sad at the fact that I have given my all and he hasn't. What do I do.

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Old 9th November 2017, 7:51 AM   #2
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What were you even arguing about?
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:55 AM   #3
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What were you even arguing about?
He was upset about me being wanting to not text him the entire day. I apologized and sounded monotonous. He further escalated the subject by saying how unreasonable I was.
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Old 9th November 2017, 10:03 AM   #4
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He wanted to keep fighting and continued to harass you through phone. You had every right to want to get away from that by blocking him. Sounds like this is a toxic relationship!!!
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Old 9th November 2017, 10:09 AM   #5
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I feel like there is much more to this story and your relationship than this one isolated incident. I can't really offer up any constructive advice as a result.
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Old 9th November 2017, 11:21 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Michelle ma Belle View Post
I feel like there is much more to this story and your relationship than this one isolated incident. I can't really offer up any constructive advice as a result.


Yeah don't assume that.


OP, he's trying to make you feel bad. He's playing the game with you. Trust me. This is always how it ends up. They keep playing mind games with you hoping that the other person will get to the point of, "Oh crap. I'm messing up. I need to step up my game otherwise I'm gonna lose that person forever and it will be all my fault!" Don't play his game. If you want to continue this relationship you need to show that you honestly just don't care. He sounds like he's toxic anyway. I would just move on. If you just move on, he'll come back to you, and from there you can decide if you still want to be with him or not.
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Old 9th November 2017, 11:32 AM   #7
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Yeah don't assume that.


OP, he's trying to make you feel bad. He's playing the game with you. Trust me. This is always how it ends up. They keep playing mind games with you hoping that the other person will get to the point of, "Oh crap. I'm messing up. I need to step up my game otherwise I'm gonna lose that person forever and it will be all my fault!" Don't play his game. If you want to continue this relationship you need to show that you honestly just don't care. He sounds like he's toxic anyway. I would just move on. If you just move on, he'll come back to you, and from there you can decide if you still want to be with him or not.
Hi ZayKayWill. I had a conversation with him today telling him I was sorry for the way I acted and I have should have approached it better. I lashed out on him earlier and apologized for that. He said he doesn't need my understanding or forgiveness. So, what's done is done. He's moved on and what he just had said made me move on.
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Old 9th November 2017, 12:58 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by asianbabygirl View Post
Hi ZayKayWill. I had a conversation with him today telling him I was sorry for the way I acted and I have should have approached it better. I lashed out on him earlier and apologized for that. He said he doesn't need my understanding or forgiveness. So, what's done is done. He's moved on and what he just had said made me move on.
Sounds like it is for the best really.

However, i'm a believer in not plying games. The whole 'I'll see if he chases me thing' is never a healthy reaction. It can come across as manipulative (imo) and it also should not take something like you doing that for him to show how much he cares.

A conversation about whether you should be together is enough to see if the other really cares about you.
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Old 9th November 2017, 1:24 PM   #9
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Sounds like it is for the best really.

However, i'm a believer in not plying games.


Me neither, but sadly that's the only way to get a point across sometimes. If they're initiating the game in the first place, you need to beat them at it. Or just walk away. Either way, it's always a game.
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Old 9th November 2017, 1:37 PM   #10
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Me neither, but sadly that's the only way to get a point across sometimes. If they're initiating the game in the first place, you need to beat them at it. Or just walk away. Either way, it's always a game.
I feel like pursuing is the correct form of the term. As I have mentioned before, whenever we'd get into a predicament, I was the one apologizing whether it be my fault or his. Being remorseful and sincere was one of the things I did to show how much I truly have loved him and cared enough to carry this relationship on my end of the stick. He's never really done the same other than say sorry and leave it at that. It's the lack of fire and compassion he doesn't have to put into this relationship. I have exceeded my bandwidth in doing so. He has just shown his true colors. It is no longer worth my time to invest something that has been futile since the beginning.
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Old 9th November 2017, 1:40 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Michelle ma Belle View Post
I feel like there is much more to this story and your relationship than this one isolated incident. I can't really offer up any constructive advice as a result.

I couldn't get past the OP's user name. Although I guess I'm a fine one to talk.
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Old 10th November 2017, 1:19 PM   #12
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As I have mentioned before, whenever we'd get into a predicament, I was the one apologizing whether it be my fault or his.
That is probably somewhere you went wrong. Never apologize for something that wasn't your fault. If you start doing that it's a green light to push the boundaries of what the other an do and get away with.
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Old 10th November 2017, 3:07 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by asianbabygirl View Post
He was upset about me being wanting to not text him the entire day. I apologized and sounded monotonous. He further escalated the subject by saying how unreasonable I was.

It's always deeper than texting.
Things like:
1) Spending time with friends (or an ex) that the S/O doesn't trust.
2) You may have been distant for awhile/busy with your own things and he's feeling the pressure of the distance and scared to lose you.

This does not in anyway excuse his lash out. He should be mature enough to tell you straight out, "Hey, this is what's going on with me" and he didn't.
I'm just saying if you want to give this the benefit of the doubt start by backtracking your last couple months together- that's usually where it lies.
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Old 10th November 2017, 3:45 PM   #14
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I couldn't get past the OP's user name. Although I guess I'm a fine one to talk.

What's wrong with her username...? Man people can be so quick to judge.
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Old 13th November 2017, 8:33 AM   #15
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What's wrong with her username...?

Not a thing. It's absolutely precious.
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