shypshnius Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Good evening, I was just dumped by my girlfriend and i'm currently really confused. I think the main reason why she broke up with me was cause i acted really clingy, super needy and annoyed her during the last week when she went to another city to meet her friends and have a good time. She was already acting quite cold the week before so i panicked a bit and kept messaging, calling her a lot during the days she was away. I could see that she was annoyed with that but i just wanted to understand what was wrong. I could clearly smell that something is not right and had a feeling that she is thinking about breaking up with me. I know it was a big mistake on my part not giving her space during that week. So when she came back, she told me that she needs couple days of space to decide whether she wants to be with me anymore. I've just called her today, and hung up on me, then we chatted a little bit and it turned out that she decided to break up. But my main concern is, what she wrote me was: "I don't know if i'm doing the right thing. I hope i'm not making a mistake. I'm not quite sure what that means.. Do you think she still has some feelings for me? She's acting really cold though and doesn't seem to be interested in me anymore. However, he's still checking every single thing i put on instagram/facebook. We been together for 6 months and it seemed that we really loved each. She even cried in front of me at least 3 times, she used to be really comfortable next to me. It was a long distance relationship though. We used to meet twice a week. It's just hard to believe for me that like 10 days ago she said she really loved me and now she decided to break up with me after i was really clingy, needy the week she was away. What is your opinion? Mainly about that thing she said to me today: ""I don't know if i'm doing the right thing. I hope i'm not making a mistake.". Do you think i still got a chance to get her back? Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Buriall Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 She definitely knows shes got you in her pocket, perhaps she met some guy that shes interested in? so she wants space to try him out while keeping you on the sideline if it doesnt work out she could come running to you. Now you say you are clingy,needy and all that..Take this time to work on yourself. She wants space?? so give it to her but tell her that its over and she cant come back.. Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 She has wanted to break up for a while. I wouldn’t be too harsh on yourself, remove her from all social media and block her number then you can begin the healing process. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author shypshnius Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 The thing is i still love her a lot. I will be doing the no contact thing from now on. I've just thanked her for the good times, said i love her a lot and that i'm leaving the door open, she can call my anytime if she changes her mind. Do you think it was appropriate to say? Link to post Share on other sites
Art Vandelay Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 The thing is i still love her a lot. I will be doing the no contact thing from now on. I've just thanked her for the good times, said i love her a lot and that i'm leaving the door open, she can call my anytime if she changes her mind. Do you think it was appropriate to say? There's nothing wrong with what you said. Now you have to leave it alone. Don't ask her again and keep vigilant with NC. It's going to be hard but you have to dig deep and find the willpower to do this. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 The thing is i still love her a lot. I will be doing the no contact thing from now on. I've just thanked her for the good times, said i love her a lot and that i'm leaving the door open, she can call my anytime if she changes her mind. Do you think it was appropriate to say? NO. You look like a doormat. She can leave you and she can just come right back? Where is your value. Sure, dump me and come back whenever you want I'll be waiting. The whole clinginess and now you just waiting on her is so unattractive. She needs to feel like shes losing you. Like you won't be waiting. Like she can't have you back. There is no scarcity. You should have just gone silent. No nice guy. Make her sweat. Feel like she may have lost you. She knows she can go around, date other guys and you will just be waiting for her. Not attractive at all. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (edited) NO. You look like a doormat. She can leave you and she can just come right back? Where is your value. Sure, dump me and come back whenever you want I'll be waiting. The whole clinginess and now you just waiting on her is so unattractive. She needs to feel like shes losing you. Like you won't be waiting. Like she can't have you back. There is no scarcity. You should have just gone silent. No nice guy. Make her sweat. Feel like she may have lost you. She knows she can go around, date other guys and you will just be waiting for her. Not attractive at all. I agree with this. OP, with that text you just made breaking up with you that much easier for her. She is walking away from you wondering if she made the wrong call, and you took that worry away by saying she could come back whenever she felt like it (unattractive). A better response, if you had to respond would be "Yes you are making a mistake. I'll be moving on. Have a nice life". Edited November 7, 2017 by Imajerk17 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author shypshnius Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 Thank you for your advices. I'm having a really hard time though. Everything i do, i'm always thinking about her. I just can't concentrate on anything. Don't even have any appetite.. really frustrating. I hope it wont last for too long Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (edited) Thank you for your advices. I'm having a really hard time though. Everything i do, i'm always thinking about her. I just can't concentrate on anything. Don't even have any appetite.. really frustrating. I hope it wont last for too long We've all been there before, OP. Most of us--myself included--have made fools of ourselves post-breakup too. While I think the text you sent was not a good call, I think I can get what you were trying to do--being classy and taking the high road. And if that is the worst thing you do after a breakup, you will actually be way ahead of most people. Go NC with this woman. There is someone better for you out there. Meanwhile moving on and living well is the best thing you can do.... Edited November 7, 2017 by Imajerk17 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author shypshnius Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 (edited) By the way, i asked her to block me on facebook since i can't block her myself. But she didn't... That's kinda weird that she didn't want to.. She's also still checking every single post i make on instagram or facebook almost instatly. Edited November 7, 2017 by shypshnius Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 By the way, i asked her to block me on facebook since i can't block her myself. But she didn't... That's kinda weird that she didn't want to.. She's also still checking every single post i make on instagram or facebook almost instatly. Why can't you block her yourself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 How old are you two? Your statement that you are long distance but see each other 2x per week made me wonder. She does seem confused but dumpers sometimes say that. It means that she knows that she doesn't want to date you anymore but she is conflicted about being a source of pain for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 A little late for her to think that. She's just trying to lessen her guilt. Actions are more important then words remember that. You could analyze that message allday and come up with different answers. Doesn't matter. Won't change anything. Go NC and work on yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rickwman Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I'm sorry you are experiencing this. Honesty and understanding each other's expectations are very central to an honest and trusting relationship. Maybe you are seeing 'red flags' that are warning about your future with her. Maybe she needs more time alone to think about the relationship. Have you spoken with a counselor, pastor or minister that can offer you wise and long-term, effective advise? Don't fill your mind with guilt, condemnation, judgement or unforgiveness. It's poison! I'll pray and stand with you that your future is bright with the woman that fulfills your needs and if your currrent girlfriend is the one in your future, God bless you both! Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I agree with this. OP, with that text you just made breaking up with you that much easier for her. She is walking away from you wondering if she made the wrong call, and you took that worry away by saying she could come back whenever she felt like it (unattractive). A better response, if you had to respond would be "Yes you are making a mistake. I'll be moving on. Have a nice life". This right here is the thing to say, but not easy to do when your hearts just been broken. You do need to avoid the breadcrumbs and not letting her feel like you're waiting for her and she can contact you whenever she wants. Next time she tries to contact you, you're busy, don't reply and block her on Facebook. Not good to ask her, now you need to do it. You need to value yourself. She doesn't. Actions not words. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bromeo Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 We've all been there before, OP. Most of us--myself included--have made fools of ourselves post-breakup too. While I think the text you sent was not a good call, I think I can get what you were trying to do--being classy and taking the high road. And if that is the worst thing you do after a breakup, you will actually be way ahead of most people. Go NC with this woman. There is someone better for you out there. Meanwhile moving on and living well is the best thing you can do.... I was there too. Acted like the king of idiots with my ex. Good thing is, pain is the best teacher. When the most recent gf broke up, I was prepared, and went nc right away. I think she was surprised. Lol Give it time, and do nothing. Work on healing and yourself. You'll be surprised how strong you feel in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shypshnius Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 Quick update: She just messaged me 4 days after breakup. She basically messaged me a random joke on facebook and we had a short fun conversation for like 20 minutes before she responded with: "your given minutes for today ran out, good night". What is this all about lol? Is she just playing with me, trying to get her ego fed or do you think she actually still cares and started regreting her decision dumping me 4 days ago? Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Quick update: She just messaged me 4 days after breakup. She basically messaged me a random joke on facebook and we had a short fun conversation for like 20 minutes before she responded with: "your given minutes for today ran out, good night". What is this all about lol? Is she just playing with me, trying to get her ego fed or do you think she actually still cares and started regreting her decision dumping me 4 days ago? Brother she is playing games with you. Nothing funny or amusing what she said. It's pretty disrespectful as a matter of fact. Block this woman on social media. Stick to NC. Don't be a doormat. You deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
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