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Ex hasnt given me my stuff back?? Any ideas why??


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Old 6th June 2005, 2:24 PM   #1
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Ex hasnt given me my stuff back?? Any ideas why??

Does anyone know why the dumper wouldnt give the dumpee back their stuff?? Its been over 5 weeks and my ex still hasnt give me my things? I basically decided to just give the whole idea of getting them back up because its not worth it but seriously whats the point of him keeping them?

Initially when we broke up he said he wanted to keep my stuff so that we could get together in a couple weeks 2 talk and see how we feel, well a couple weeks went by and i emailed him and asked for my stuff and he said he would drop it off at my house next thursday and i said if he still wanted to talk to option was there since it was his idea and he said he had nothing to say..
well thursday came and of course i got an email with an excuse as to why he couldnt drop by things off... I responded saying just bring my stuff to work and he said ok will do, but still he hasnt brought it...

Im done contacting him, its a waste of time...but any ideas why he hasnt returned it???
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Old 6th June 2005, 2:27 PM   #2
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Not me. I've given up trying to understand men.
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Old 6th June 2005, 2:37 PM   #3
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He thinks he's either punishing you by keeping the stuff, or he feels as long as has your possessions, he will still have a link to you in case he wanted to date you again. But he's proven he can't be trusted on his word.

If you really don't need the stuff, I'd forget about it and him totally. If you really want those things back, arrive unannounced at his home one day with a friend, demand he give you your things, collect them and don't contact him again.
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Old 6th June 2005, 2:59 PM   #4
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Thanks guys...I have given up on understanding men too...
I mean if you are done with me, you are done with me, so give me my crap and finalize things....
Just all so weird, especially since there is no excuses why he cant bring the stuff to work....im not asking for a lot..
But at the same time, ive gone 5 weeks without now so i guess i will just wait until he offers to give it to me now.
You are right...he cant be trusted on his word, it wasnt my idea for him to keep my stuff..
He is one strange guy!! Its so funny how you spend so much time with someone yet you dont really know them!!
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Old 6th June 2005, 4:53 PM   #5
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Re: Ex hasnt given me my stuff back?? Any ideas why??

Quote:
Originally posted by queenie01
but any ideas why he hasnt returned it???
Because he hasn't had time to install all the tiny cameras yet....

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Old 8th June 2005, 12:27 AM   #6
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He is SOOO holding on to you!!!
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Old 8th June 2005, 8:55 AM   #7
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Do u really think so?
Every email conversation we've had (which hasnt been many) he is so wishy washy, he just keeps telling me that "something was missing from our relationship and its something that trying wont fix" Which is think is total bs..
I almost feel like he may be a commitment phobic person, he broke up with me out of the blue and we had all these future plans, everything was great, never fought or anything...
Who knows why but on friday it will be 6 weeks...i dont know if he should have realized what hes lost already or how long it really takes people...
I work with him tho and i have been completely avoiding him, i changed my gym schedule so that I dont run into him, we used to workout at the same time...I actually havent run into him in 2 weeks now.
Last email I got was from him last thursday saying he couldnt drop my stuff up at my house because he had to go to his parents...I think thats ridiculous because he could have just brought it to work...
I responded and told him "just bring it to work...thanks!" and he responded "ok, will do..." and as of today he still hasnt. I dont think I should have to email him to see where it is either...right?? I figure if he brings it he will let me know???
I dont know what to do or think anymore, any advice would be appreciated
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Old 8th June 2005, 9:10 AM   #8
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rre re reeeaaalllly

Quote:
Originally posted by figgurinoutlife
He is SOOO holding on to you!!!

so you think if a ex doesn't give the other person their stuff back they are holding on to them and want to have some kind of connection to them.....
well that just sucks i want my stuff back and this nut of an ex gf of mine won't give it to me.......dang girls
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Old 8th June 2005, 9:13 AM   #9
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Does she keep telling you she will?
Come on mine is in the same place as me EVERYDAY!! And i still dont have my stuff back almost 6 weeks later...
Its like if they are done with you then be done...why the hell would they want your shyt still at their place, makes NO sense to me at all...
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Old 8th June 2005, 9:23 AM   #10
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yeah

she was all like "i want my stuff back and i will give you yours"....mind you this was 3 months ago i said fine gave her stuff and i am still waiting on mine finally i gave up and told her i didn't want it but it was like i told her oh just keep e-mailing me to tell me some day like in the next 10yrs you will give it to me

i give up if she gives it to me then she does if not then oh well
she is just killing me
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Old 8th June 2005, 9:28 AM   #11
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Wow thats messed up that its 3 months later... mine is only been almost 6 weeks...
Funny part about it is that after we broke up he asked me if i wanted him to drop my stuff off or whatever and i told him i would let him know, then he texted me saying " i have an idea how about i keep your stuff and in a couple weeks we can get together and talk and see how we feel" Stupid me agreed to it and after 3 weeks passed i contacted him and said i would like my stuff back and he said ok i will drop it off and i told him if he still wanted to talk, the option was open since it was his idea.... and he said he really had nothing much to say really other than he felt bad for the way he handled things...
Real nice, why suggest a stupid idea and not follow thru...i dont get it and then why not just give me my crap back already...
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Old 8th June 2005, 9:42 AM   #12
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Put a post-it on his computer screen or leave a note on his desk. Have the note say "Please package and return my stuff to me by (set a date for one week from the day you write it). You may leave them on my desk. Should you fail to return my things by (date), I will report them stolen, and give your name to the police." Then, follow through with it.

That should get your stuff back. I have a feeling though, that you are hanging your hopes on the fact that his not returning your stuff means that he still has feelings for you. His treatment of you could not be more clear on how he feels about you.

I remember some years ago having some stuff of an ex's - a few tee shirts, some books, cookware, etc. He wanted it back, and I had him so very low on my priority list, that when he would call and ask for it I would forget about doing it almost immediately after hanging up. It simply wasn't worth the time for me to go out of my way to gather up the stuff and give it to him - nor was it worth the cost to ship the stuff. I cared that little for him. It wasn't because I was hanging on to him - it was because I had already let him completely go - and his things no longer had any particular meaning - they were just things. His feelings toward getting his stuff back were moot. I just didn't care. It was that bad. I regret that I was so callous, but at that time - that's just how I was. He finally came to my place with his brother and picked it up himself some months later. Had he sent me a "stolen goods" letter, I would have sent him back his stuff. Otherwise, I simply just didn't give that much thought to it.

So, go with the threatening note if you really want to get your stuff back. If you want him back, I can understand why you wouldn't want to send such a 'burning bridge' note.
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Old 8th June 2005, 11:34 AM   #13
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Well part of me is holding on to hope but at the same time I am moving on with my life too...
I guess I just feel like he would give me my stuff back if he was done with me, its pretty simple...especially since we are in the same place everyday. I havent seen him at all in 2 weeks nor have i contacted him, I have no desire to either...
Of course I would love to know what went on in his head to just break up with me out of the blue, who knows.
He is not a bad guy and i cant imagine that he cares that little about me to keep my stuff because its a low priority to give it back. Who knows maybe you are right...i guess i will never know.
Putting a note on his desk is out of the question because i dont want work related to this matter at all...plus i never go by his desk, even when we were a couple...
I guess all i can do is just continue no contact and when he decides to bring it in he will contact me, i mean he did email me that he would do that so we'll see.
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Old 9th June 2005, 4:58 PM   #14
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Yep, this is his way of holding onto you. What he is doing is keeping yourstuff so that later on down the line if he decides he wants you back he can use your stuff as an excuse to contact you and then see you.
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Old 10th June 2005, 8:50 AM   #15
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I think that is so ridiculous...
If you break up with a person, you are done with them...
I have been at work every day this week so he had every chance to bring it here and shoot me an email telling me to meet him in the parking lot...

I just dont understand why he does this...just give me my stuff and leave me be. I have pretty much fallen off the face of the earth as far as he knows..havent run into him at work in over 2 weeks.. used to see him everyday at the gym but i changed my schedule since it was hard for me to see him...but he has no idea why i havent been there...who knows if he even cares tho.
I go on vacation next week to Vegas and when i return i am going to return to my old gym schedule...goin to be VERY hard to see him again everyday but its not fair to me that I am having to sacrafice my schedule to avoid him.
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