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Pathetic/ funny breadcrumbs from your exes...


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My ex texted me “I see you. Haha” because she spotted me at the same concert she was at. She broke up with me and I was two weeks NC. The last thing I told her was that I wasn’t going to reach out to her ever again, and she sent me that regardless. Her reasoning was “idk. Pure instinct.” Oh whale.

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Mine texted me about how hurt she was and how she still cared about me and would always be there for me. It was almost the same text she texted me word for word when we broke up last time!!!!

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Nearly 4 weeks after I blocked her on FB she texted me about a book she thought I might have and hoping things were well on my end. My end of what? We aren't connected anymore. We aren't two ends of a pole. We're separate entities, there is no my end nor your end. A few minutes later she texted me to say her sister actually had the book and "Sorry!". Yeah no ****, it's a pretty recognisable book, I think I'd have returned it by now if I had it. And you just had to text me? Instead of waiting for your sister to get back to you first? I simply deleted the texts.

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been getting crumbs all year. ignored every single one.

 

 

2 months ago got the "wishing you a good life". sounded so final.

 

 

Then 1 month later got the "hi, how are you".

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Calling me off a variety of different telephone numbers at silly o clock in the morning, breathing down the phone.

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What have yours been so far?

 

My ex is so lazy he texted me "um". And that's it.

 

:lmao:

 

Why would you have any expectations for anything more than subpar treatment? You are dealing with a man that you claimed abused you. The "um" shouldn't even be surprising anymore.

 

You can't seem to comprehend that this man has no real love or care for you but you insist on clinging to him in hopes he'll be the kind of man you want him to be. At some point, you need to come to terms that he will never be and accept him for who he is -- and try to move on.

 

Aim higher. Create better standards for yourself.

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Why would you have any expectations for anything more than subpar treatment? You are dealing with a man that you claimed abused you. The "um" shouldn't even be surprising anymore.

 

You can't seem to comprehend that this man has no real love or care for you but you insist on clinging to him in hopes he'll be the kind of man you want him to be. At some point, you need to come to terms that he will never be and accept him for who he is -- and try to move on.

 

Aim higher. Create better standards for yourself.

 

Zahara :) I feel so much better it took me a hard three months but I do find myself crying ( only from frustration) sometimes but it's so much less. " Um" just made me laugh...because it is so typical! Acceptance is so helpful it's all that denial that holds you back. Talking to his friends really helped me accept who he is, he told me everything . I'm in a better place believe me.

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todreaminblue

havent really got breadcrumbs i dont think...i am friends with my exes...my ex calls me a lot....but its not breadcrumbs normally full conversations.....once he just giggled and didnt have much to say didnt know why he called.. we ended talking for a while...because basically i can talk about anything underwater..i can talk....a lot....its a word thing...like my posts on here...mightnt make any sense...but they go on and on and on........... deb

Edited by todreaminblue
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Zahara :) I feel so much better it took me a hard three months but I do find myself crying ( only from frustration) sometimes but it's so much less. " Um" just made me laugh...because it is so typical! Acceptance is so helpful it's all that denial that holds you back. Talking to his friends really helped me accept who he is, he told me everything . I'm in a better place believe me.

 

You were hanging out at his home just a weekend ago.

 

It's one thing to be in denial and that you're journeying into acceptance but I find that declaration hard to believe when you still chose to stay in proximity and contact with an abuser. How does true recovery happen when you're still engaging in a person that has been damaging to you? You claimed he abused you -- the effects of abuse takes a long time to undo. What have you been doing to protect yourself? Your threads are of a common path -- he's still in your life and by choice.

 

Why haven't you blocked him? Why haven't you stayed away from him?

Edited by Zahara
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Mine broke up with me telling she doesn't trust in me for no reason and put all the reasons for breakup on me then she was very selfish, arrogant and so on, and I went full NC. Then she started to talk to me to saying about the guys she went out, sent me their Instagram accounts, ask for advice and so on... But at that point I didn't love her anymore and I didn't hate her anymore. I just didn't care with her anymore.

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You can call it pathetic or sad, but you're on here posting about it, so clearly he's accomplished what he intended: Occupy your head.

 

This guy would be blocked if you'd truly accepted that you needed this guy removed from your life. As it is, you've left the door open. So be honest with yourself: You're either being naive about allowing an abuser such easy access to you or you're holding out hope, albeit quietly, that he'll have a change of heart and ask to have you back.

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You can call it pathetic or sad, but you're on here posting about it, so clearly he's accomplished what he intended: Occupy your head.

 

This guy would be blocked if you'd truly accepted that you needed this guy removed from your life. As it is, you've left the door open. So be honest with yourself: You're either being naive about allowing an abuser such easy access to you or you're holding out hope, albeit quietly, that he'll have a change of heart and ask to have you back.

 

Blanco, it's time to change the script a little. You been writing the same stuff for years :)

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Blanco, it's time to change the script a little. You been writing the same stuff for years :)

 

You're right. I refuse to be an enabler and sugarcoat things.

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You're right. I refuse to be an enabler and sugarcoat things.

 

nothing wrong with the OP posting about an ex giving out lame bread crumbs. Shes sounds like she has her head on straight and is doing fine. It's all part of the healing process.

 

keep throwing the one-size-fits all script at them :)

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nothing wrong with the OP posting about an ex giving out lame bread crumbs. Shes sounds like she has her head on straight and is doing fine. It's all part of the healing process.

 

keep throwing the one-size-fits all script at them :)

 

What good will come of not having her abusive ex boyfriend's number blocked?

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You'll get to a point where you won't even care about a stupid breadcrumb. You'll just be like *eye roll* is he still trying to tug a leash? I let go of that leash ages ago. Then you l'll cuddle up with your new bew -)

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PrincessWarrior1
nothing wrong with the OP posting about an ex giving out lame bread crumbs. Shes sounds like she has her head on straight and is doing fine. It's all part of the healing process.

 

keep throwing the one-size-fits all script at them :)

 

I believe once you are truly healed and have completely moved on, it becomes an entirely different ball game from there. For instance, if an ex should try to come back around, we would have the advantage. Kind of our "HA" moment, because we no longer want them and maybe it's their turn to feel the pain of rejection. That would be the only reason I would leave the door open so I don't miss my "HA" moment.... it is quite satisfying.

 

However if you really are a good hearted person, it does kind of make you feel bad. Maybe things are infact left better to imagination and drawing your own conclusions with out the contact.

 

Before technology though, blocks weren't an option, so an ex could just show up or hunt you down if they were that tenacious about it.

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PrincessWarrior1
What good will come of not having her abusive ex boyfriend's number blocked?

 

Once she is in a safe place, she'd be able to mess with his head and emotions the way he messed w hers. Sweet revenge! People can get around blocks anyway, it's not that hard, you just change your number. It boils down to getting over the person and moving on, whether it's slow and painful by torturing ourselves or quicker and less painful by NC and blocking, etc.

 

I also feel that rebounds set you back. We have to get back to ourselves and taking care of ourselves. Trying to date too soon or get into another relationship, you're going to end up having to take care of someone else and jip yourself out of that self love, care, and time. Learned that the hard way more times than I should have. But oh well, here we are :D

Edited by PrincessWarrior1
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Once she is in a safe place, she'd be able to mess with his head and emotions the way he messed w hers.

 

This seems like a fantastic idea......

 

 

NOT

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Once she is in a safe place, she'd be able to mess with his head and emotions the way he messed w hers. Sweet revenge! People can get around blocks anyway, it's not that hard, you just change your number. It boils down to getting over the person and moving on, whether it's slow and painful by torturing ourselves or quicker and less painful by NC and blocking, etc.

 

I also feel that rebounds set you back. We have to get back to ourselves and taking care of ourselves. Trying to date too soon or get into another relationship, you're going to end up having to take care of someone else and jip yourself out of that self love, care, and time. Learned that the hard way more times than I should have. But oh well, here we are :D

 

Playing the long game so you can enact some sort of petty revenge just seems completely at odds with really moving on.

 

As for the comment about it being easy to get around blocks, yeah, so? That's like saying it's dumb to lock your door since someone can get into your house if they really want to, anyway.

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100% agree on the blocking.

 

I tortured myself for months with my ex. Finally cut her off late January.

 

In June she was liking my pics on FB, though we weren't friends.

 

By then I had healed enough to recognize a fishing line for what it was.

 

Blocked her then, been happier since.

 

Her best breadcrumb?

 

"Ugh, if you were only a better man, we'd be together."

 

- from an email on our anniversary in January. After she had ignored, disrespected, and treated me like trash for months. I laugh now. Lol

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How about you went into nc, she initiate contact with a question, you answer in a polite way and then she reply with only "oh. That's good. Hope you enjoying it." then she send nothing more. I was like "what the hell? Why did you start something and then act like that?".

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She added me on snapchat after about 3 months NC. Didn't bite at first but curiosity got the best of me and I sent her a friendly "hope things are good email". She threatened to call the cops on me.

 

Biggest wtf moment of my life.

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I believe once you are truly healed and have completely moved on

 

No such thing if you truly cared for someone. Lots of the vets on here talk about how they moved on completely but how do you think they would go if their Ex knocked at their door. Some people are great at putting things under the carpet (out of sight out of mind etc), doesn't mean they totally moved on. If someone kicked you to the curb, it's unrealistic to think you could just deal with them as a normal person.

 

Waiting to have a stab back at them when they come back is just a bad idea all round.

 

As long as your functioning and taking forward steps, it's ok to allow some of those old emotions to co-exist to an extent. As they say, it's best to "lean into the pain". This approach may take longer to reach the end but it leads to a more complete healing.

Edited by marky00
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