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GIGS ex texting me


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 28th October 2017, 9:38 AM   #16
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update..

i got a random call from her a couple hours ago at 6:20 am eastern time(saturday morning).. She's from the west coast so it was 3:20 am where she's from .. I was awake at this time because i woke up at 5 am and couldn't fall back asleep but i did ignore the phone call. She was most likely high and drunk and on her way back home after a party/club/bar since she mentioned that she's been getting home really late like that a couple weeks back after our break up.. i really don't understand why she keeps trying to initiate contact when i'm showing her that i'm not interested and WANT my mind on other things.. but maybe me wanting my mind on other things now is why she's choosing to contact.

5-6 weeks ago, when i was still trying to contact her and check up on her, i remember texting her "good morning" one day. I saw her update her status on social media so i knew she was already up but she didn't reply. Almost 2 hours later i sent another text like this "i hope you have a good day and i hope you got a lot of rest" since she was going to be in school for like 9 hours that day. She replied 10 hours later like " thanks and i did" and then i replied like ok i'm glad to hear that .. now that might not sound like much but 2 weeks later after she initiated contact, she told me that it PISSED her off how i sent her 2 texts in less than 2 hours because "we're just friends now"(she said this)......this is one of the MANY things she did to push me away.. and now she's confused as to why i feel so hated by her and don't want to talk to her, hear from her or be around her..
People who allow their exes to maintain some form of contact are either hoping to get back together or have some responsibility that prevents him/her from blocking ALL forms of communication. Which are you?

You want peace of mind and move on, but you don't block her, why?
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Old 28th October 2017, 1:00 PM   #17
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People who allow their exes to maintain some form of contact are either hoping to get back together or have some responsibility that prevents him/her from blocking ALL forms of communication. Which are you?

You want peace of mind and move on, but you don't block her, why?
I disagree. No contact doesn't have to include blocking. For some dumpees there may be a sense of satisfaction and an ego boost when the dumper ends up trying to reach out and is met with silence. It could be empowering, and just what is needed to really move on. However, for others blocking may be better.
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Old 28th October 2017, 2:22 PM   #18
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I think she was likely just drunk and looking for attention, OP. She wasn't getting it from anyone else at that moment, so she decided to call on Ol' Faithful to respond.

Good for you for not taking the bait.
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Old 28th October 2017, 2:28 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by VisionL09 View Post
update..

i got a random call from her a couple hours ago at 6:20 am eastern time(saturday morning).. She's from the west coast so it was 3:20 am where she's from .. I was awake at this time because i woke up at 5 am and couldn't fall back asleep but i did ignore the phone call. She was most likely high and drunk and on her way back home after a party/club/bar since she mentioned that she's been getting home really late like that a couple weeks back after our break up.. i really don't understand why she keeps trying to initiate contact when i'm showing her that i'm not interested and WANT my mind on other things.. but maybe me wanting my mind on other things now is why she's choosing to contact.

5-6 weeks ago, when i was still trying to contact her and check up on her, i remember texting her "good morning" one day. I saw her update her status on social media so i knew she was already up but she didn't reply. Almost 2 hours later i sent another text like this "i hope you have a good day and i hope you got a lot of rest" since she was going to be in school for like 9 hours that day. She replied 10 hours later like " thanks and i did" and then i replied like ok i'm glad to hear that .. now that might not sound like much but 2 weeks later after she initiated contact, she told me that it PISSED her off how i sent her 2 texts in less than 2 hours because "we're just friends now"(she said this)......this is one of the MANY things she did to push me away.. and now she's confused as to why i feel so hated by her and don't want to talk to her, hear from her or be around her..
What I bolded there is exactly why you two aren't friends. This "Friendship" is completely on her terms until she figures out what to do with you.

Do yourself a favor and quit her.
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Old 28th October 2017, 2:29 PM   #20
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I disagree. No contact doesn't have to include blocking. For some dumpees there may be a sense of satisfaction and an ego boost when the dumper ends up trying to reach out and is met with silence. It could be empowering, and just what is needed to really move on. However, for others blocking may be better.
I find this notion of NO CONTACT to be peculiar. For some, such as yourself, it seems that NO CONTACT entails CONTACT. By allowing someone to CONTACT you, you are not in NO CONTACT. If you want peace of mind and help yourself to move on b/c you feel that their 'presence' or any reminder of their presence is distracting, well, then you go NO CONTACT. Allowing someone to communicate with you and you not responding is still contact.
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Old 28th October 2017, 3:26 PM   #21
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I find this notion of NO CONTACT to be peculiar. For some, such as yourself, it seems that NO CONTACT entails CONTACT. By allowing someone to CONTACT you, you are not in NO CONTACT. If you want peace of mind and help yourself to move on b/c you feel that their 'presence' or any reminder of their presence is distracting, well, then you go NO CONTACT. Allowing someone to communicate with you and you not responding is still contact.
You seem emotionally charged given the all caps (screaming). Yours is an interesting opinion of me considering the fact that I am in no contact with my ex which means I have gotten rid of all personal effects, deleted emails, phone numbers, etc. I do not email her, do not call her, do not have social media accounts, and have absolutely zero intention of doing so. There is nothing "contact" about that.

I don't imagine her ever contacting me, either. I asked her not to, but if she wanted to she could. Aside from email or phone, she used to live with me and has my address and could either send me something in the mail or stop by. I suppose in your opinion, that would mean CONTACT and I would have failed by your stringent rules. I should move, right?

I see a difference between being the initiator of contact, and being the recipient. I think you're a bit extreme, but that's just my opinion of course. To each their own. There is no one size fits all.
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Old 28th October 2017, 6:38 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by simpleNfit View Post
People who allow their exes to maintain some form of contact are either hoping to get back together or have some responsibility that prevents him/her from blocking ALL forms of communication. Which are you?

You want peace of mind and move on, but you don't block her, why?
yup, Still have some responsibilities(mostly money) and that's why i cant completely remove her from my life right now.. but i also agree with Highndry 100%. It is somewhat comforting finally seeing her TRY because of the way she left me and how she got over me so fast. Now, that doesn't mean i want her back but it does answer a lot of questions that left me so confused .. like for example, did i mean anything to her? in the last couple of weeks she's shown me that i did mean a lot to her, even if she doesn't want a romantic relationship with me anymore. In the last couple of weeks she's told me things that would have made the breakup much easier for me because not getting answers from her or sometimes getting answers that didn't make much sense left me so hurt and i was also beating myself up for not doing enough..
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Old 28th October 2017, 7:35 PM   #23
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yup, Still have some responsibilities(mostly money) and that's why i cant completely remove her from my life right now.. but i also agree with Highndry 100%. It is somewhat comforting finally seeing her TRY because of the way she left me and how she got over me so fast. Now, that doesn't mean i want her back but it does answer a lot of questions that left me so confused .. like for example, did i mean anything to her? in the last couple of weeks she's shown me that i did mean a lot to her, even if she doesn't want a romantic relationship with me anymore. In the last couple of weeks she's told me things that would have made the breakup much easier for me because not getting answers from her or sometimes getting answers that didn't make much sense left me so hurt and i was also beating myself up for not doing enough..

I know the feeling. It's extremely hard to move on when you don't have answers. I have trouble dealing with my own break up because I'm blaming myself for a lot of things also. In your case, she needed the emotional distance from you which is helping her collect her thoughts and come to realization of what she's feeling. I just hope her emotional journey wont drag your heart through the mud and leave you broken mess.

Last edited by Beachead; 28th October 2017 at 7:39 PM..
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Old 28th October 2017, 7:50 PM   #24
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If you're smart you'll drop the rope here.

Are those breadcrumbs getting you anything?
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Old 28th October 2017, 8:10 PM   #25
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Block her and move on.

Trust me on this
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Old 28th October 2017, 8:27 PM   #26
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Block her number. Stop playing her game.
You weren't friends you were in a relationship she threw away.
You want me to tell you why you get these random texts? Because she wants to keep that door open with you in case she needs to run back to you when everything goes bad for her. Hell you've already shown her your still AROUND for her. Everytime you text her you just confirm it.
I had ex who treated me like crap. We broke up and the NEXT day she's texting me "checking up on me" and telling me shes here for me if I need anything. Sounds awesome right? Except the fact that she treated me bad,disrespected me on a constant basis and now she's going to be there for me? She couldn't even be a decent girlfriend and yet she wants to be a part of my life? Its the same with you. She just wants that line of communication open for HER needs not yours. BLOCK HER.
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Old 31st October 2017, 5:55 AM   #27
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Thank you everyone.

again, i can't block her because of some responsibilities that have to be met but i will continue what i've been doing and that's to never initiate contact and ignore her calls and texts.

I'm still missing her and what we had so much and i still feel sad from time to time .. specially when i hear a song that reminds me of us and our moments(has happened quite a lot) but everyday has been better..

I never thought any of this would happen and that i would one day be in a breakup forum sharing my experience because this woman was my everything and we always talked about being together forever. It obviously didn't happen that way.. but life just keeps going...

Last edited by VisionL09; 31st October 2017 at 5:58 AM..
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Old 31st October 2017, 5:07 PM   #28
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I woke up from a nap about half an hour ago and i had a dream where me and my ex were out doing groceries. She basically ends up breaking up with me and there i am begging her to take me back while she's being cold, distant and trying to push me away(exactly like the real break up). I then wake up with a lot of anxiety and the NEED to talk to her. I continue to have these dreams where i'm basically reliving the break up and all the emotions and feelings that came with it and it just feels really really bad. It was happening a lot like 3-4 weeks ago and it just happened again right now. Did this happen to anyone who went through a bad break up? It's not a good feeling at all because i wake up expecting her to be there to make things better but that's obviously not going to happen and so i deal with really bad anxiety for about 20 minutes ..
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Old 31st October 2017, 6:06 PM   #29
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I woke up from a nap about half an hour ago and i had a dream where me and my ex were out doing groceries. She basically ends up breaking up with me and there i am begging her to take me back while she's being cold, distant and trying to push me away(exactly like the real break up). I then wake up with a lot of anxiety and the NEED to talk to her. I continue to have these dreams where i'm basically reliving the break up and all the emotions and feelings that came with it and it just feels really really bad. It was happening a lot like 3-4 weeks ago and it just happened again right now. Did this happen to anyone who went through a bad break up? It's not a good feeling at all because i wake up expecting her to be there to make things better but that's obviously not going to happen and so i deal with really bad anxiety for about 20 minutes ..
Yes. It happens to most that are dumped/cheated on 'out of the blue'(This is normally not the case,but people don't see the warning signs happening and it seems that way). Those dreams could be,I don't know; Telling you exactly what NOT to do..Just saying.
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Old 7th November 2017, 4:48 PM   #30
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My ex messaged me on sunday night and said "How are you doing", i did not reply to this..

On Tuesday at 4 pm, i get another text from her and it has a meme. The meme says "Y'all change your whole life for a guy and sit in the house while he cheat on you with the same type of bitch he didn't want you to be ... GO BE A HOE" with a really excited squidward from spongebob... my ex then says "crazy how true this is lol"

I hardly even went out while with her. I'm 25 and have been to 0 clubs and maybe just a few bars with friends or family because i'm just not a party person and i just don't like that environment very much. She on the other hand just turned 21 and has been to way more bars and clubs than me. Like i mentioned before, while we were still together, she was going out to clubs and bars while i was home and i did not care about this because i did not want to stop her from having fun.

I also would have NEVER cheated on her and she knows that i'm a very honest guy and would have never done anything to her involving another girl..

I don't know why she would send that stuff to me .. It just makes no sense because she knows that i'm a very loyal honest guy and she was the one doing all this messed up stuff behind my back before she broke up with me.. what is her motive with this crap?? i have not replied but i'm thinking of doing it because this is complete non sense .. is she angry she isn't getting attention from me or something?
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