Cookiesandough Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Sorry. I'm sure this has been answered somewhere, but I was wondering something. My ex and I are over for good, but I still have a lot of stuff on my old phone(screen shots of texts because he was texting me tings when he had a new gf ) sweet text messages he gave me, nudes, pics of him and his family, pics of us. The memories are upsetting to me but I'm afraid if I get rid of them permanently it wil be worse. Should I delete all this stuff if there's no chance of reconciliation? Help me move on? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 If you can't bring yourself to delete them, save them all to a flash drive. Then put the flash drive & all the other mementos in a box. Tape the box shut. I mean really tape it shut like it will be a total p.i.t.a. to open it & you will need a knife. Then put the box in your attic or the deepest most inaccessible recesses of a closet. Leave it all there for at least 1 year, then revisit how you feel about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Don't delete it but store it on a USB stick or file and lock it away for now until ur healed. Yrs ago I did that burnt all the exs photos etc and was worse for it healing is all about out of mind out of sight but u can be smart about it. Store it away until ur able to view and look at it without it stabbing at your heart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 I remember years ago when I broke up with the greatest love of my life. She had, over the years, sent me tons of thoughtful, loving emails. I did not dare delete any of that stuff early on. In fact, I felt protective of it, clinging to the past as I suffered from the loss. I did eventually delete everything, and in hindsight it would not have mattered if I'd deleted it the very first day we broke up. It might have even helped me move on faster if I would have gotten rid of it, because I really, really hurt during that breakup. You'll figure out what's right when the time is right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GuitarGuy7 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Might as well delete the nudes, you don't want any stuff getting leaked lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trust666 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I deleted everything the minute after I got dumped and went NC. It keeps you from healing and if it's texts and emails etc it an cause you to overanalyze a paper trail. If youre done and have trouble moving on, burn everything lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 If you can't bring yourself to delete them, save them all to a flash drive. Then put the flash drive & all the other mementos in a box. Tape the box shut. I mean really tape it shut like it will be a total p.i.t.a. to open it & you will need a knife. Then put the box in your attic or the deepest most inaccessible recesses of a closet. Leave it all there for at least 1 year, then revisit how you feel about it.A friend of mine asked me to make it difficult for her to access her ex's files. I encrypted the flash drive with an absolutely brutal 128-character passphrase that included some ASCII characters. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 To delete or not to delete, that is the question... just imagine, years from now and long after you've forgotten about them, your present day husband or kids stumbling upon them.... that should answer the question 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JEG88 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Time heals all. Why keep any reminder of an ex that will just bring back sad memories when re-discovered? I delete everything after a breakup, no question. I don't need that baggage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I'm the type of person who gets rid of every last ounce of their being, and wipe them away from my life. Then again, I have yet to date someone who wasn't a jerk to me during or after the break-up. If someone could leave me with some decent memories, maybe I would be less inclined to delete everything. I still have 1 gift from my first ex, not because I can't get over him (he's getting married anyways) but because maybe I could give it to someone else, who even knows. But the recent one, argh, he angered me so much that I deleted every single last thing. It's also out of respect to myself and to my future partners. No one wants memories of someone's ex around. Especially nudes etc. I got rid of all our suggestive texts and pictures. Thank goodness, I never sent him any pictures of me. I hope he got rid of the ones we were kissing and stuff, but again, what can I do? To be honest, I really wish he would get rid of everything that had to do with us - I would actually want that. Some relationships if you don't want to get back together, you don't even want the reminder that you even had them. I would love nothing more than 5 years later, to feel like this was just some bad dream and distant memory - and question, did that even really happen? Still waiting though lol. But yeah if no reconciliation, just get rid of it. You'll feel more refreshed and cleaner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tnt41 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 I suggest keeping the screenshots of some of the inappropriate messages after the break up & putting them in a locked folder on your phone... out of sight, out of mind. Delete the rest. You will have a reminder of what a scumbag he really is if you're having a particularly tough day, & you will also have power... you have proof of what a scumbag he really is. Breakups can leave you feeling powerless, so it's nice to know you have evidence of their wrongdoings. I'm not saying do anything with them... just take the power you have & relish in it. That, at least for me, is therapeutic. Edited for spelling because I'm tired & not proofing well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) Hey OP, Firstly, I'm sorry for what you are going through. It depends on who you are as person and how strong you feel. There's a poster my first ex bought for me that had a quote from one of my favourite movies. I kept it. It's been about 7 years since then and it's on my wall but it holds no romantic or sentimental meaning to me anymore. It's just a poster with an awesome quote. My most recent ex..I deleted all our pictures immediately, tore up a hard copy of one, and threw all the stuff of hers into the garbage. I wanted no memories. I am glad I did it because seeing it all in my room killed me. So sometimes, keeping things are okay. Sometimes they are not. Perhaps you can pack the stuff in a box an tuck it away someplace and save all the pics and messages an put it on an external hd. But.. ..you run the risk of holding onto hope. You don't want to be 6 months into post breakup healing, still looking at all of it and crying. You want to be looking ahead, healthy enough to see opportunity that'll help you grow, get better and attract lots of better people out there for you. Can't do that if your focused on your rearview. If you start to feel like this, delete the messages/pics and toss the rest into a public garbage so that when you get second thoughts, you won't go dumpster diving. It'll suck for a few days and then you'll be okay because you'll have no choice but to get over it. I wish you well Edited October 21, 2017 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 To delete or not to delete, that is the question... just imagine, years from now and long after you've forgotten about them, your present day husband or kids stumbling upon them.... that should answer the question True but odds are those folks won't exist in the next 12 months so she can take baby steps -- box up & put away for a while, then delete later when she's in a stronger frame of mind, with more distance from the break up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 the ole keep the photos until the new boyfriend or husband finds it trick. Works almost every time:laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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