AlexLarrson Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 So here’s a recap of what happened Been together with ex girlfriend for 3 yearsThe relationship was emotionally intense (in a good way) and the feelings/love were deepShe had go to Shanghai being a exchange student for 6 monthsThe plan was I should move to China after 2 months and spend the rest of time with her there Spend all my money on herShe cheated on me 5 times with different people within a period of two weeks after being there for one week.She breaks up with me, lies about cheating and blames everything on me. Suddenly I and the whole relationship was the worst thing to ever happen.I desperately want her backShe posts pictures of her going to stripclubs and partying all the time on social mediaDoesn’t want to talk to me and ignores meI Skype her after a week of hell, telling her I want her back and travel across the world to do it.She comes forward and tells about her cheating, but doesn’t want me back (maybe but only maybe there was a small chance if I could be with her in a open relationship, where she could see others, and I couldn’t)I still wanted her back (being in a emotionally unstable state)She tries to justify herselfWorst time of my life. Got fired from my job because of her.Weeks later I realize how emotionally dangerous she is for meI write a long message to her saying, I would never speak or see her again and then I blocked her on facebook. I went totally no contact even tough she suddenly started liking my pictures on instagram. I’m just trying to move on with my life even tough I am extremely hurt and she constantly trying to make me jealous with other guys. I’ll never talk to her again. She changed so quickly. She was so loving and caring at home, and then she just started sleeping with everyone and anything. Now after three weeks of no contact, I just received a short letter from her in my mailbox, where she still tries to justify her cheating and make me feel bad. I doesn’t say much but she tries to flip things around saying “I hope you understand that it’s for the best that we can’t have any contact right now”.. Like I just told her that three weeks ago, that I’ll never see talk her again. I feel like she’s trying to reframe the power back to her favor. So now, she’s in control. I just want to move on.. So my question is what should I do now? Now my first thought was to ignore the letter, and her cry for attention. But in the letter she’s writes maybe in the future we she’s home again, we could go for coffee. And I feel like I should just close it and write a text saying, to stop contacting me ever again.. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 She's only interested in knowing you don't hate her, which is why she has tried to make you feel bad about *her* cheating. It's a trap. This girl couldn't be away from you for more than a week before she went spelunking for strange d*cks. Ignore her and move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Ignore her dude if u feel u need to reply make it short and sweet in a blunt way tho. She's toxic. Definately ignore her if u can but if u do respond tell her it will be ur last tell her directly wat a low life whore she is and tell her to **** off Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 What you should do now is disconnect from her on all social media & rip up the letter. As long as you can see each other virtually you are not NC. Until you are completely disconnected, you will never heal. Don't do that to yourself. You don't need to be looking at her pictures at clubs etc. She's not in control; you are. Ignore her. She's not a nice person. Focus on getting yourself a new job & saving back some of the money you foolishly blew on her. Link to post Share on other sites
A_New_Earth Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 If you look up 'wrong girl' in the dictionary - there will be a picture of her... She sounds truly horrid. Just ignore her. Totally. There is your power. Wake up dude. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Ignore her and never contact her again. Absolutely best thing to do. She cheated and that is the worst. You need to get your self respect back and really take a look at what has happened so you'll never chase a cheater again. Link to post Share on other sites
Trust666 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 //Weeks later I realize how emotionally dangerous she is for me// NC and if there is any more burn every bridge you can so she gets the point and never tries to contact you again. If you get a letter in the mail "Return to Sender". This is what I have done with my ex, who I trusted, but cheated. We did NC but she reached out a couple times and so did I about things like clothes being returned etc. Eventually, I burnt every bridge I could so she would understand I am not friendly with dishonest exes even ones I have known for 2 plus decades. Make your bed and lie in it....go cheat on the next guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 I'm going to be hard on you but its because I sympathize with you. And I understand. And more importantly you need to hear the truth. 1. Your trying to get back with someone who cheated on you MULTIPLE times with different people. And your BEGGING someone to comeback who pretty much threw away their relationship with you. Why ??? 2. Everything was perfect in your mind because you built her up. And believe me when I tell you she cheated on you in some form BEFORE she went overseas. You don't cheat on someone you "love" esp multiple times. 3.She only told you about the cheating to relieve the guilty feeling she was carrying around. 4. YOU got yourself fired from YOUR job because of YOUR actions. 5. Do you really think even if you got back togeather your going to trust her?? 6. NO CONTACT means they can't contact you in ANY way. 7. I know your hurt and angry. Believe me I've been there. But always remember it wasn't your fault in ANY way that she cheated-she is just a dishonest and selfish person. NOTHING you would have done would have changed that outcome. 8.You got knocked on your butt by her. Your on the ground right now crawling around. You have 2 options. Either dust yourself off and get back up or crawl around on the ground feeling sorry for yourself. I'm not saying don't take the time to lick your wounds.I'm telling you don't get to comfortable crawling around. 9. And we come to the most important one in my opinion. Their will come a time were you will want "revenge" or some kind of payback because of what she's done to you. The "last" word. The greatest form of payback for someone who wronged you is to live your life to the FULLEST. To accomplish great things big and small. To not allow THEM to alter the course of YOUR life in anyway. Because in the end they are just miserable people who don't deserve you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Block everything and go completely dark. Not believing who and what she is will just keep you in limbo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Look for signs of narcissism! If you go back, she will betray you again and again. Don't accept this from any one. The signs? She will do as she pleases and expect you to accept crumbs. You are better than this. https://ladywithatruck.com/the-3-phases-of-a-relationship-with-a-narcisist/ Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 You have been given a gift, the rest of your life, freedom from someone that can hurt you so easily. Run, block her. Link to post Share on other sites
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