Relationships Spilling into Others and Ruining Other People

[PerryK]

I don't really know if theres a question here, but I need to get a load of my mind and explain it to set it all out clearly. It is a tale of 2 relationships. The protagonists: Me 25, gf 23, brother 21, his gf 32.

 

I was with a girl for 18 months, approximately 4 years ago. We got together because we started seeing each other while she had a previous bf. We ended because she cheated on me with a guy she had just moved into uni halls with. She stayed with that guy for 6 months before going on holiday and cheating on him. They broke up and she met another guy who she stayed with for 3 years but she started messaging me and telling me about how horrible this guy is and we started meeting behind his back for a month. So again they break up and we get together, she promises i was the one she always wanted and she would never cheat on me, we have been together for around a year now.

 

The other relationship, my brother who was 19 went to university and met a 30 year old foreign student who had just came over, they started dating but my brother would always get shot down when he suggested going over to Greece to visit her family when she went back every university holiday. Around a year into the dating he found out through a slipped comment that she was actually happily married in Greece and was going back to her husband every break, she had also slept with other people including course lecturers to get better grades. He thought okay, it is fair game then if we aren't that serious to sleep around too. He sleeps around and this girl went absolutly mental, she would trap him threaten him and try to ruin all his ties to friends he could see instead of her. Eventually he leaves the country to work abroad to get away from this girl and start fresh and cuts off all ties and this girl goes absolutly psycopathic, she is sending naked photos of herself doing sexual acts on guys to him constantly and to girls that he knows. She also becomes all "best-friends" with my girlfriend to punish me for getting him to end it.

 

That is where it ties back to me, I wasn't happy in my relationship, she was not a nice person deep down. She was jealous of everybody else who she percieved as better than her so she never ever had a nice thing to say about anybody. Anything she done wrong including her constant cheating was every other guys fault for being "to boring" "to annoying" etc. And she was so controlling over other girls that i know because of her own pathological cheating she was worried it was going to happen to her. Despite all of that i worked away in a male only environment and then would come home weekends and spend the whole time with her so i never had a chance to meet anyone else and leave her and move on. All my friends back home said she was really vacant and hollow and had no personality, other friends always told me to leave because she is a bitter, jealous sociopath who is only happy when she brings other people down. She used to make up stories and arguments to all of her friends and edit pictures or even fabricate pictures to tell everyone i am cheating. She would message really abusive things online to my friends saying that i have said X and X about them which made them fall out with me.

 

So then it comes down to my brothers now 32 year old ex lover, who decided to break us up. It all started when she phoned my partner out of the blue to say that she has proof that i have cheated and i kissed a girl on so and so holiday and i messaged my brother saying that "i love cheating so much it is amazing" (seems a bit wierd for me to say, especially to my brother over facebook messenger, seems something you would say if English isnt your first language). We have a huge argument with me defending myself from accusations and her making up stories in her head and then using them as factual scenarios for her to further accuse me. Ever since then we were on eggshells with her constantly flipping between sending me pure vile abuse about how other guys are better etc, and saying she is sorry she just loves me so much and doesn't want to ever lose me and to put what my brothers ex said.

 

Anyway, it has all came to a head today. My brothers ex has been saying daily to my partner that i have said this and that and my gf went off at me with conversation screenshots between her and my brothers ex "xxxx said to [brother] that he loves his ex girlfriend 100 times more than he will ever love you and he will leave you for her if he ever had the chance" (again because that is how two brothers talk about one of the exs from a few years ago despite being in a relationship, rather than a girl with a poor grasp on the English language and culture). She messaged my parents abuse calling them awful names and swearing at them and then posted on facebook about them, me and my brother in foul mouthed rants. All this time, i am sat at work 200 miles away and am only made aware of this when my elderly mom calls me really upset. This girl is still bombarding me with texts that range from abuse and how awful i am, to how i need to change my behaviour if i ever want us to have a future.

 

Im just really confused now, my head is all over the place.