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Do you stay friends with your exes?


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I see a lot of people say they've stayed friends with exes, but in my experiences I've only seen such situations end up in disaster. And I mean friends as in regular contact and occasional hanging out (whether in groups or otherwise), not acquaintances per se.

 

Whenever I've had a breakup, I always end communication cordially and leave it at that. I never reach out again. The only time I even talked to an ex again was when she ended up being a distant coworker of mine at a job down the road.

 

I just see too many potential issues with old emotions arising, or "friendships" turning into something more.

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I usually do not. I am friendly with all my exes except the last one who I am not indifferent towards and right now I really dislike due to how and why she broke up with me.

 

I rarely hang out with exes unless it was amicable and I really have no feelings for them.

 

That being said some have come back many years down the line and we fooled around for a bit or tried dating for a bit. Usually, they end in disaster also, even the last one who came back into my life 24 years later lol. See above, ended REALLY badly. Ironically prior to that she was my sweetest and most valued ex, now it's a total dumpster fire.

 

Another irony, the ex who was the worst girlfriend ever for me is the one I am closest to, but there are no sex/relationship feelings. We're just close.

 

So long story short, I agree with you that it can and often does lead to issues, rekindling old flames, bruised egos, chaos, hurt, pain, etc.

Edited by Trust666
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Never. They are past romantic interests, nothing more. I'll sometimes entertain the idea of intimacy in the future, but that's where I draw the line. I'm nobody's emotional tampon (credit Sam Kinison for that term).

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One person will always want 'more' (usually the 'dumped'). It's not worth the potential pain.

 

I see a lot of people say they've stayed friends with exes, but in my experiences I've only seen such situations end up in disaster. And I mean friends as in regular contact and occasional hanging out (whether in groups or otherwise), not acquaintances per se.

 

Whenever I've had a breakup, I always end communication cordially and leave it at that. I never reach out again. The only time I even talked to an ex again was when she ended up being a distant coworker of mine at a job down the road.

 

I just see too many potential issues with old emotions arising, or "friendships" turning into something more.

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I've stayed close friends with a handful of exes - but not with many others. It depends on having good compatibility, but not being romantically compatible - so it's very selective. Once such woman has been a very dear friend for 45 years - we dated in high school. A few others have been friends for 20-25 years - we dated, but weren't suited for more than friendship. Their friendship has been a very positive factor in my life. My wife has also become friendly with all of them to some degree as well.

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I'm friendly with them in that if I bump into one I can have a 5 minute chat with him about life -- our families, work, what's new -- & be polite but I am not "friends" with them. I don't go out of my way to see them. I don't socialize with them. We don't exchange Christmas cards. I have referred business to some of them.

 

 

There is 1 exception. 30+ years after the fact my husband & I occasionally see another local couple. The guy & I "dated" for about a month in High School. My husband just randomly started talking to my "EX" at a class reunion I dragged my husband too; they hit it off. My husband of 9 years & his wife of 23 years both know about our prior "relationship."

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Depends really. If they did you wrong-cheating,stealing then no.

And to be honest their isn't ant reason to stay friends with an ex unless have children.

I figure if you couldn't do for me when I was with you why am I going to bother with you as a friend?

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Oh hell no!! They are an ex for a reason. I have never had any desire to. Ever!

 

I am often baffled when others want to because for me it is a no brainer.

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Ugh....I'm sharing a hotel room with one of mine this weekend actually. Separate beds though but still. And I'm driving him to and from also so will be spending over 24 hours with him with very little break :(

 

He couldn't afford it otherwise.

 

Oh what lengths we go to for our children to be happy and it is going to be a really happy occasion so that's what will get me through.

 

It's just one day.

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NO. Never have, never will.

 

I thought I was one of the few. Someone told me if someone was such a big part of your life, it says a lot about you for cutting them out completely aka you're immature etc. This made me wonder, however I think it's stupid.

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No, I do not.

 

I don't hate them, but I have never had an interest in maintaining friendships with them. We fell out of contact after the break-ups, which was fine by me.

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Ex Wife nope.. I do not want to go there (meaning don't too talk about it)

Ex GF's nope.. Because they're all liars

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I can't fall in love, become intimate physically and emotionally, share experiences, conversations and go back to the way things were. Not anytime soon anyway. For me to go back and be good again, it'll take 2-3 years of time away. By then, they'd have moved on and so would I and neither of us would care to talk to eachother again anyway.

 

In addition, at best, you'll be kept at a distance and would be treated like an acquaintance. You'll never hang out or talk freely. When they find someone new and they will, that person won't want them continuing to talk you and they will let you go. Even if they don't, they will gradually distance and vanish out of your life.

 

In conclusion, it takes less energy to move on than to keep an ex around trying to be friends. So no..I don't stay friends with exes anymore.

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