How do i deal with a crush cutting me out of her life?

[Andrew9]

This is continued from my last post:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/637635-how-deal-taken-woman

 

Life's been tough lately. I got involved with a woman (around my age if not older) whom i found out was taken and got cut out of her life. We saw each other in person for years and at 1st, we had a strictly business relationship. I wasn't looking for anything more as i was working on myself. Eventually, one thing led to another and i started having feelings for her. I think she was falling for me too once she got to know me well. We couldn't say it but it was in the air. Finally i caved and told her how i felt about her. She surprised and said she was very flattered. She told me she was already in a committed relationship and said work kept us from being together anyway. I told her i didn't want to cross any boundaries because i cared about her and could handle my feelings. She thanked me, hoped i'd find someone else, and left it at that. Shortly after that, a friend of hers said she didn't want to see me anymore. She talked about how great of a guy i was but she had to do what was best for us both. Said it was unhealthy for me and her as well.

 

It's hard dealing with a woman i could never have. I wanted to hold her in my arms, kiss her, look into her eyes, and be with her. Nevertheless, i accepted it would never happen. Seems like she couldn't look at me the same after that. Overall, i handled it pretty well. I'm not really upset or mad at her for doing what she did. I'm sure she did what was best for herself and me. I'm glad i met her and grateful for the things she taught me. Her time in my life is over and i have to move on to better things. Got anymore tips to help me cope?

[Trip2TheSky]

I recently had no choice but to ghost someone and I feel awful for it.

 

I have no choice, because I am married and it's near impossible to have a healthy relationship when you have a close friend of the opposite sex.

 

It is what it is.

[Andrew9]

I recently had no choice but to ghost someone and I feel awful for it.

 

I have no choice, because I am married and it's near impossible to have a healthy relationship when you have a close friend of the opposite sex.

 

It is what it is.

 

Yea i understand it's difficult to deal with those types of situations. That's why i don't fault her for it at all. I don't blame anyone for it. I thought it was possible but i realized it isn't for some people. Some have limits to their self-control and have to pick between a spouse or the other man/woman. I'm sure she probably felt bad for doing what she did. Sure hope she's ok.

[thecrucible]

You could think of it like "Life is too short to pine over someone you can never have". You can force yourself to move on in a way, by focusing on doing something for yourself. Find projects to do, places to go, people to meet. Life can be really rubbish but we've got to make the best of it!

[Andrew9]

You could think of it like "Life is too short to pine over someone you can never have". You can force yourself to move on in a way, by focusing on doing something for yourself. Find projects to do, places to go, people to meet. Life can be really rubbish but we've got to make the best of it!

 

So true. That's what i've been doing to move past it. Talking about it also helps.

[d0nnivain]

The small silver lining is that you are drawn to women of integrity. Upon learning you had feelings & recognizing the temptation for what it is, a slippery slope with the potential to ruin the primary relationship she values, she walked away.

 

Yes, that is heartbreaking to you but from an ethical perspective you too know it's for the best.

 

So hold your head high & know that you can attract a good woman. Now go find one who is waiting for you, who is not already taken.

[Andrew9]

The small silver lining is that you are drawn to women of integrity. Upon learning you had feelings & recognizing the temptation for what it is, a slippery slope with the potential to ruin the primary relationship she values, she walked away.

 

Yes, that is heartbreaking to you but from an ethical perspective you too know it's for the best.

 

So hold your head high & know that you can attract a good woman. Now go find one who is waiting for you, who is not already taken.

 

Yea, she was probably the only person who made me reconsider my stance on relationships. I had already given up in the past but when i had feelings for her and things were getting out of control between us, i somehow knew i could do it. She inspired me to find a good woman even if it came at our own expenses.