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I broke No Contact


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Despite the advice of the knowledgeable people on this forum I broke No Contact. I was drunk and we spoke for abit at first it was nice then you realize that your living in a fantasy. Turns out she cheated on me and has already slept with someone else. After that I got emotional and did all the begging and pleading. I have sunk to a new low I never thought I would reach. She blocked me from everything. I have been hung over and crying all day but I feel I needed this. I was very insecure in the relationship and co- dependent. She would often call me crazy saying that I was always accusing her of being unfaithful. I never understood why I felt that way with her turns out my instincts were right. I realize I still have a lot of issues that I am going to work on my insecurity, jealousy, and controlling. In the midst of agony I find this odd peace within it all. Like I know for sure it wasn't all me. I wish I was strong enough to not break No Contact, I wish I was strong in general. I have a lot to work but for now I'm going to work on this hangover.

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I know how you feel man.

 

But take comfort in knowing you did all you could do and that you were the best you could be. This is on her. I would much rather know that than carry around doubts of whether I had done enough or regret from screwing up (Like she did) because now you know the one and only path before you is moving on. And as much as that sucks right now to hear, your future starting today is a blank canvas and you can paint whatever picture you desire. The potential, opportunity and direction you can do is endless. You are not constrained by her. Even though you don't feel it or want to see it right now, you will.

 

And if it helps, she's going to feel the consequences of her actions later on and you're going to be in a better place by then.

 

Stay strong.

Edited by Beachead
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Sometimes breaking no contact allows us to have some "closure", it hurts but it can help you adjust. Now that you know, and I was in a similar situation, you can start to move on with some information you did not previously have.

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Sometimes breaking no contact allows us to have some "closure", it hurts but it can help you adjust. Now that you know, and I was in a similar situation, you can start to move on with some information you did not previously have.

 

I whole heartedly agree with this. It can make implementing no contact far more easier the second time around.

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Sometimes breaking no contact allows us to have some "closure", it hurts but it can help you adjust. Now that you know, and I was in a similar situation, you can start to move on with some information you did not previously have.

 

It's funny because I'm about 4 months into NC and I feel a little conflicted too. It's like I see my own emotional progress, but for some reason I feel like I can't move on the way I want to unless I get closure the way I recognize closure.. which involves an actual conversation. So this is interesting to read. Now I'm even more conflicted LOL

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I don't actually believe in "closure" or some magical final conversation. To me, it just opens up old wounds. I never want to talk to my ex-girlfriend again.

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Everyone does it man...everyone.

 

Dont be to hard on yourself. She will regret her actions later and have to live with guilt and that is a nasty emotion. By then you will have healed alot and in a better place.

 

I went nc after about 5 weeks of a 6 year relationship. She emotional cheated on me with her wx and went back to him. Shes tried reaching out several times since....delete delete delete. Dont waste your time if she comes sniffing around. The tables will turn eventually.

 

Stay strong

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Don't beat yourself up bro. I know you probably feel right now like you'll never have another relationship...but you will. And if/when that one ends (hopefully it doesn't) then you've learned a lesson from this one.

 

Trust your instincts. The worst thing a person can do to someone is to make them feel like they are stupid for 'feeling' a certain way when that person knows full well that their partner is correct. It's disgusting.

 

At least you have some firm closure now. Onwards and upwards.

 

Despite the advice of the knowledgeable people on this forum I broke No Contact. I was drunk and we spoke for abit at first it was nice then you realize that your living in a fantasy. Turns out she cheated on me and has already slept with someone else. After that I got emotional and did all the begging and pleading. I have sunk to a new low I never thought I would reach. She blocked me from everything. I have been hung over and crying all day but I feel I needed this. I was very insecure in the relationship and co- dependent. She would often call me crazy saying that I was always accusing her of being unfaithful. I never understood why I felt that way with her turns out my instincts were right. I realize I still have a lot of issues that I am going to work on my insecurity, jealousy, and controlling. In the midst of agony I find this odd peace within it all. Like I know for sure it wasn't all me. I wish I was strong enough to not break No Contact, I wish I was strong in general. I have a lot to work but for now I'm going to work on this hangover.
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You got some answers & maybe the final nail in the coffin.

 

I don't understand why after learning that she cheated and that she has already been with somebody else you begged for her to come back to you. That makes no sense.

 

Let her go. Lick your wounds. Nurse your hangover & be glad she blocked you. She's saving you from yourself.

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