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Should I say yes or no?


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I have written about my ex before, it was a very short messed up relationship that ended badly, after break up he publicly shamed me on his social networks and wrote a series of texts to me in which he basically insulted the very core of my character telling me there is no chance we could ever be together, he called me two-faced and accused me of fooling him into thinking I was self-confident. Needles to say, I respectfully disagree with most of the stuff he wrote, but that is besides the point. Even a few months after our break up he wrote a couple of passive aggressive things about me.

 

We are going to be the best man and the maid of honour at our friends wedding. We did not know this prior to the break up. The bride and the groom want us to join them on the dance floor for the first dance, I was already nervous about that, but today after many months of recovering from what was probably the most perplexing situation in my life, my ex texted me acting super friendly, telling me about this special dance he and I will have to dance (not the first dance, even though the bride never mentioned anything) and asking me if I wanted to practice. Apart from the fact the whole special dance thing is weird, I am very surprised by how chatty and open he was in his texts considering he has proclaimed me pure evil to the world before. Like nothing has ever happened. So I do not know what to do. The bride and the groom took no dancing lessons and plan on winging it, so why should we have to do it? Everything is just really odd and I could use some advice. Thanks.

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Mos definitely No... Nooooo to the hell nahhhhh.. Leave this guy in the past, he's no good for you.. Look at him adapting differently to certain situations..

 

Go back and read all the terrible things he's done to you... Don't give in

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Hey OP,

 

Based on what you are saying here about your ex, I wouldn't do it.

 

You two broke up, you're healing and still have long ways to go with it so no. Weddings are always the time and place where expectations are high and emotions are wild so tread carefully with this situation. If you have not told them already about the break up and how you feel, I strongly suggest you do so asap to avoid any possible problems with them. With all due respect to their request, they will have to understand.

 

Always aim towards a clean and clear future, take control of this situation and do what needs to be done for your well-being.

 

Best of luck

Edited by Beachead
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  • 2 weeks later...
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Hm... so the wedding is over and done with. While he made no clear moves (or so I think) he spent the whole evening around me, dancing every dance with me, sitting next to me, talking, looking at me all the time. Then he just left without saying goodbye to me. Then I texted him as I was annoyed asking him why he left without saying bye to which he said they had gone to the car thinking they would come back to say bye to people. I believed him.

 

The other day he sent me a text saying he forgives me for my unpleasant texts and basically apologising for not forgiving me sooner. I am not sure if he realises there is plenty more to apologise for. He has not said he wanted to get back together, rather just that he forgives me and he has forgotten all about my messages. Now, I don't know what to write as he clearly is not aware yet of all the mistakes he has done and I am actually offended he would think that his forgiveness would bring peace to my life. Also, the only thing he apologised for is not forgiving me sooner. Do I write to him letting my thoughts known or do I just let it go? Thanks.

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This man treated you horribly and yet you entertained him at the wedding. And you're experiencing a second round of shaming and you're asking if you should let him know your thoughts or let it go?

 

He doesn't give two craps about your thoughts. Someone who treats you like garbage has no consideration for your thoughts or feelings. And yes, let it go by blocking him and permanently removing him from your life.

 

All you've taught him is that you tolerate disrespect. Change it.

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By saying he has forgiven you, he is implying you did something wrong. He is not taking any responsibility for anything himself. I don't know who broke up with whom, but if you broke up with him, why bother with him again? You don't have to interact with him any more. I know you felt you should for the wedding but any bride/bridegroom would have understood if you opted out.

 

This guys still doesn't seem to be treating you well. You have a past history with him where he treated you badly by blaming you in public. Don't risk getting entangled with him again. Nothing appears to have changed.

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Nope, you don't do a thing. Go back to healing and getting over this guy. He apparently just did not want things to be awkward at the wedding. Do not over analyze this and do not look for an apology. You should not have to tell him what he did wrong in his treatment of you. He probably feels good about things now that you were friendly towards him. Emotions are still to high to think you can just be friendly with him and stay in contact. You don't owe each other anything anymore.

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