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Why is my ex not responding to email?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 4th October 2017, 5:59 PM   #1
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Why is my ex not responding to email?

I was in a great relationship for 2.5 years with who I thought was the man of my dreams. Everything ticked the box for me. The suddenly out of the blue he broke up with me a day before I was suppose to move into his place (he had no pressure, we mutually agreed it was time for the next step). His reasoning on the break up is that he felt no sexual chemistry with me and said he never really did...but because everything was sooooooo great and I was exactly what he was longing for long term he tried to make it work. He showed ZERO signs that we were about to break up...seriously I thought he was closer to putting a ring on my finger than to break up with me. He said 90% of the reason for the break up was because of the sexual chemistry...so ok...I had to let it go and after about 1 month of going back and forth for closure...I finally stopped contacting him. No contact for at least 1 month...then I reached out via text to see if he wanted to go for a walk as friends. Because we had an AMAZING friendship it was what I missed the most and thought maybe we could try to establish that and keep the very best part of our relationship. I told him no pressure, only do it if you want. He said he definitely wants to see me and see how it goes. So we meet up for a walk...it lasted 3 hours and the connection was so strong (for both of us) we caught up on life, did not talk about the relationship or break up at all and it was great! We parted with him saying he had mixed emotions and he just needed to let things simmer.....so finally after a week he contacted me and we met again for another walk....2 hours this time. He pretty much talked the entire time how he was confused what I wanted. Was it just a friendship or get back together...i said a friendship now but who knows....he talked about how it could lead into a friendship, nothing or we would get back together. He said many things that implied that he was unsure if breaking up was the best thing...that I would be an amazing life partner and have so many qualities he wants. Definitely opened the door in my mind that he was considering getting back together. So we left the walk agreeing to be friends and go out for a drink or a movie from time to time and see where it leads.
I leave there very happy and hopeful and full of expectations (which I know I shouldnt have). ANyway...a week goes by...nothing....i reach out and ask to go to a movie and he texts the next day saying he was out of town.....then another week...nothing...I reach out via text to just straight up ask him if he has reconsidered the friendship and after a couple days responds and says...Ive been busy but I have seen you...Im not sure what you want from me. So i call and straight out ask him if he has any romantic feelings left, if the connection is gone? Finally he says that yes he does but for now we cant be friends or keep anything going, that its too freah and we are too fragile. He sounded so confused....saying he is indecisive. So i tell him I understand and that I will move on.

Days after I was having such a hard time getting over it and felt like everything was just an illusion and that he really didnt care as much as he made me believe (Im telling you guys...there were NO SIGNS!!!!! he was an amazing BF). I sent an email to him, asking him for one last favour....to tell me that he did love me at one point and the relationship was not an illusion and that what he showed/said in the past 2 .5 years was real. I asked him to tell me why he fell in love with me and what he will miss. I just wanted some positive parting words from his end so I can leave it in peace. We never fought through teh breakup, it was always very cival and all I wanted was him to say something good and to leave things on a positive note as all we talked about was the negatives that tore us apart.

anyway, my question is Why does he not respond back? Its been over 2 weeks.

This guy is super communicative, had so much respect for me and I just cannot understand why he wouldnt send even a paragraph on the positives and leave the relationship on a note of love. We were truly best friends and so connected that this really hurts now to not have him tell me these great things and to leave it on a good note.

Does this mean he just doesnt care?

I know Ill never get into his head and no one can reallly tell me the truth but I thought getting some insight from others might help me
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Old 4th October 2017, 6:17 PM   #2
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He sounds like he was honest as he could be with you...he never felt sexual compatibility. That sucks, but why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't desire you and never has? You are having a hard time letting go which is very clear in your post and no doubt clear to your ex. Your 'friendship' is a guise to keep the door open to be with him again because you still love him. I believe he does care. So much so that he is unsure if being friends or even in contact is good for *you* at the moment. He probably doesn't want to lead you on. I'm also betting he feels confused because he still feels an emotional/mental connect but not physical one, and it's very hard to delineate how he felt in your relationship with how he feels now as your 'friend'. He broke up with you for a reason. He wants to move on with his life, but you contacted him wanting to be 'friends' and he agreed. This is not good for either of you and he's starting to see that more and more so he is NCing/pulling back. I'm sorry. I know it hurts but you need to try your best to move on with your life. This will never be what you want it to.
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Old 4th October 2017, 6:30 PM   #3
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Hes not responding because its over.

You can’t create sexual chemistry, usually its there, or its not – and it sounds like he has realized this. Given the number of threads here, about miserable people in sexless marriages, I think he dodged a bullet.

You can’t just be friends – its near impossible to put that genie back in the bottle – and even if you did manage to be friends – it would only be until one of you found a new lover. No one wants to date someone who is best friends with their ex. Screams issues / that they are not over their ex – or that you would have to put up with your BF or GF having being friends with someone they used to sleep with. The vast majority of people are not cool with this.

Time to lick your wounds and move on I am afraid.
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Old 5th October 2017, 4:34 PM   #4
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I'm sure he cares for you still. But as he said, things are fragile at the moment, so you pushing him when he's retreating and bringing up heavy topics like that isn't going to help things. Just give him space and I'm sure you'll get the answers you're looking for in the future
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