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Day 3 of no contact


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 1st October 2017, 2:55 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by cocoa342 View Post
I am sorry that you too are going through a difficult time with no contact.
Just entered day 8 and I fell into a heap today. Tried to sleep during the day, curtains closed, didn't want to know there is a world outside and spent the entire day crying and feeling sorry for myself. All week have been trying to be strong but it really got me today. I haven't eaten all day, feel weak and like i am barely functioning. This is a disaster.
Was your break up a nasty one?
Mine can't contact me as he is blocked everywhere and he has to much ego to try to contact anyway.
Yes, it was nasty. We both said things to hurt each other. I broke up with her and she blame-shifted everything and became completely unreasonable. It was a warped psychological flip. She completely acted as if she didn't even know me. We meet up in a few days to exchange some last items. I'm still a wreck. I lost 10lbs during NC. Trying to remain calm has been a struggle, but I haven't cracked and shown any "weakness". When I see her I'll be fighting to not beg or plead. Before our breakup we talked about an engagement ring and the budget for it. I had just got my bonus from work and put the money aside to buy a ring from Tiffany's. Now all I can do is wonder. I've been on several dates but mentally I'm so far gone.

I went through the looking myself in from the outside world too. Dark shades, blinds clothes no food for several days in the beginning of NC. At 21 days things got better on the surface but still in pain. Now I'm just trying to cope and hope that time is truely the answer. It's hard, especially when she text and is so matter of fact about things. I'll update about our final meet. I wish this was all just a bad dream.
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Old 6th October 2017, 1:53 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by HarmonyDriven View Post
OP, it is a-ok and quite normal to be feeling the way you are. Allowing yourself to feel "these feelings" is a step toward healing. Sounds weird but true.

If you need to cry all day, do it.

Accept the end of the relationship. Take time to learn from what you had/did not have in the relationship and apply in your life from this day forward. Sounds corny but makes sense.

Remember, you both did not meet each other's needs in some way. There will be someone else out there for you, someone who is a better match for you. This is so true!

YOU will be fine and know it is ok to feel how you are feeling and as each day passes, it will get better. Sure, there will be days where it feels worse but overall it gets better.

You will get to a point where you might feel sad sometimes, but the crying stops. It just happens. Stay positive.
Thank you so much for the kind words of support and encouragement. It means so much when I am going through this.
I got so weak last night i almost contacted him but then i remembered how he treated me and disregarded me like a piece of trash and figured he is not worth the time it takes for me to make contact with him.
I am on day 14 today and it's still no easier :-(
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Old 6th October 2017, 1:58 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by TwinFlameGone View Post
Yes, it was nasty. We both said things to hurt each other. I broke up with her and she blame-shifted everything and became completely unreasonable. It was a warped psychological flip. She completely acted as if she didn't even know me. We meet up in a few days to exchange some last items. I'm still a wreck. I lost 10lbs during NC. Trying to remain calm has been a struggle, but I haven't cracked and shown any "weakness". When I see her I'll be fighting to not beg or plead. Before our breakup we talked about an engagement ring and the budget for it. I had just got my bonus from work and put the money aside to buy a ring from Tiffany's. Now all I can do is wonder. I've been on several dates but mentally I'm so far gone.

I went through the looking myself in from the outside world too. Dark shades, blinds clothes no food for several days in the beginning of NC. At 21 days things got better on the surface but still in pain. Now I'm just trying to cope and hope that time is truely the answer. It's hard, especially when she text and is so matter of fact about things. I'll update about our final meet. I wish this was all just a bad dream.
I am very sorry that you are having to go through this. I am here for you and hope I can help, even if just to listen to you vent when you feel the need to.

My ex did the same thing with blame shifting - caught him red handed in a lie and he denied everything even with proof. And then he had the nerve to say "this is me, the person you thought i was (the good guy) is actually a figment of your imagination"

I am sure in time we will both recover and heal. Let me know how you get on and post here any time you want to vent, I will check back more often. I still don't have privileges to private message yet but when I do I will message you and we can take our conversation private if you like?
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Old 6th October 2017, 2:39 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by cocoa342 View Post
I am very sorry that you are having to go through this. I am here for you and hope I can help, even if just to listen to you vent when you feel the need to.

My ex did the same thing with blame shifting - caught him red handed in a lie and he denied everything even with proof. And then he had the nerve to say "this is me, the person you thought i was (the good guy) is actually a figment of your imagination"

I am sure in time we will both recover and heal. Let me know how you get on and post here any time you want to vent, I will check back more often. I still don't have privileges to private message yet but when I do I will message you and we can take our conversation private if you like?
Hey. At about 20+ days of no contact my ex-GF reached out to gather some last minute items and exchange. After the final exchange of things we had a lunch date. We've hung out a few time since - assessing things day to day. However, I'm indifferent if I'd want to remain as exes or get back. 60/40 at this point.
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Old 9th October 2017, 12:50 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by TwinFlameGone View Post
Hey. At about 20+ days of no contact my ex-GF reached out to gather some last minute items and exchange. After the final exchange of things we had a lunch date. We've hung out a few time since - assessing things day to day. However, I'm indifferent if I'd want to remain as exes or get back. 60/40 at this point.
Oh wow that would be so hard having her reach out and having a lunch date - well done that you're so brave. How are you feeling about everything at the moment?
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Old 29th October 2017, 11:51 PM   #21
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Oh wow that would be so hard having her reach out and having a lunch date - well done that you're so brave. How are you feeling about everything at the moment?
Hello. At that moment I wasn't sure what to feel. I was sort of over everything and exhausted. Because of it I wasn't too eager, but I wasn't opposed to meeting or hanging out. I think after our first civil meet up we ended up spending over a week together and that lead to nights over. We didn't intentionally take things slow. It was sort of a natural thing.

We had a few breaks in talking but started to get consistent again. There were a few arguments and discussions on how things fell apart. It was an unavoidable discussion. Lots of venting and some shouting. LMAO. After the BU, NC, and time a part our breakup boiled down to one thing "COMMUNICATION" either a lack of or miscommunication. It's one day at a time.
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