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Any Breakup Buddy who could a guy out?


AndreaItalian

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Hi guys.

 

Life is really complicated.

 

My gf broke up with me and 1 month later i still feel bad. Pretty bad.

 

I still think about her and the time we spent together. It's killing me how fast people can move on. She probably has another guy now that she is free.

 

How can a break up destroy me so much?

 

I would love to find a break up buddy just to talk things out and feel not alone.

 

I'm 31 and I'm scared.

 

I'm scared because it's not the first time i have been dumped. I'm scared because It's never been easy for me to find a girlfriend and now that i'm alone i fear it could be for a long time.

 

 

How should i deal with nowdays girls? They seems to be so untrustworthy.

 

Does anyone wanna throw out a helping hand to a little lost soul from a far far away country?

 

 

Thanks

 

Andrew

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I am going through a breakup too and I feel horrible. My advice is to not try to stop the pain. Eventually it will go away though. I have been through rough breakups, including a divorce, and finding a rebound is a bad idea. You can't get over a breakup by finding someone else. I know its tough, trust me. I just want to scream. And if thats what you have to do sometimes, then do it. Scream, cry, ect.

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I'm taking time out to heal and learn from my mistakes and experience. Working on myself to become better until next time. I have deactivated Facebook and all that. A lot of people jump on the tinder wagon I won't do that mistake. We need to heal first. Self reflection is huge for me, I need to understand my mistakes and where I went wrong.

 

Im realizing I find peace in being alone. Meditation is really helpful. I also find sitting in nature is very relaxing. Putting your attention towards positive things is lifting up my spirits again. I was down in the gutter kept replaying all the bad **** that happened and it was making things worse. So focus on the positive things, I know it's hard but you must train your brain to not dwell on the negative side. Here to be your break up buddy hope I can help ease your pain a little a least.

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Hey man I'm 45 and just lost my fiancee--the only girl I ever wanted to marry.

 

Some thoughts:

 

1. Being Italian is an asset. All you gotta do is show up and say some things in Italian and some women will swoon ??

 

2. Exercise. A lot. Eventually the endorphins will rewire your thoughts. You'll be more positive and happy.

 

3. You will find someone else. I'm 45 and have a hearing impairment. in the last week alone, I got two numbers. Probably the result of number 2.

 

Think Casanova.

In boca al lupo!!

Forza!

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Im dealing with a break up too. I agree with the poster above that excercise helps. I am running a lot now and it helps me, especially when I think about contacting her or think about her and I need to clear my mind. I ran so much now that i am doing over 60 kilometers in a week and losing weight.

I read a quote lately which said "focus on conquering goals to be happy, not on people or objects" and that can help you try to be more positive in life.

People will let you down, but you can always be there for yourself and stay strong. I have had other women in my life who have stopped communicating with me only to come back later on and I had no interest in them. There are other women out there for you too, you will feel better with time.

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Hi Andrew,

 

When I was 20 years old the love of my life left me out of the blue and I was in a ton of pain. I became very depressed to the point where I would eat once a day and I talked to people close to me in order to find closure. It took me a year to get over the loss as this was my first real relationship with someone.

 

What I found helped me was simply talking about it to friends and family. I felt like I would never find anyone like him again but the more I thought about it the more I realized I was putting up this fake image of who he was. He could be a nasty person and he treated me pretty badly at times. Once I realized that he wasn't that great of a partner the easier it was to feel better about the situation.

 

My advice to you is to remove her existence from your life. Remove her from social media and block her number in case she texts or calls (she may come to you feeling guilty and this may give you hope). Go out with friends and family as often as you can just to keep busy and to keep her off your mind. The mornings and the nights are the worst. You will think of her in these times a lot. It's hard not to but if you just talk about the situation with someone during these times it helps a lot to keep your mind at peace. Rebounds don't work, trust me. I have gone to clubs to do this and afterwards I feel so much guilt that it ruins the night. The best thing you have right now is time. Time will heal you.

 

If you need to just talk you can always message me :)

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Thank you so much guys. Even getting any reply makes me feel better.

 

Thanks for sharing your stories with me. I never felt such a pain in my life because this time i was really invested in this relationship.

 

It's so hard to be alone again.

 

It is as you said, morning and nights are the worst. I miss her so much.

 

Sometime everything seems like a nightmare, i experience the weird feeling of living a bad dream.

 

Feel rejected from a person you love and that once was "in love" with you make my brain go nuts.

 

The harsh truth is that she may not even been in love with me in the first place.

 

She thought she was but maybe it was just attraction.

 

I, on the other hand, was very happy. I felt like all pieces of the puzzle were coming togheter. I got a new job, got some new cool friends and i was planning on doing trips and vacation with my GF.

 

But since she landed a temporary job far away from our city she had the time to be on her own and to meet new people.

 

It is so disappointing to discover how fragile and lean were her feelings for me.

 

I feel cheated.

 

Isn't that always the reasons why couple break-up? One is more in love than the other one.

 

I'm tryng to take some time for my self to heal, but it works so slowly. And now that summer is over my city got cold and rainy. Doesn't help much LOL

 

What i discovered is that i have serious issues.

 

It seems like my relationships fail always for the same reasons. The attraction goes aways and they search for something else.

 

I'd really like to figure relationship out because my dream is to be a father one day and have a family.

 

How do you keep the person you love to your self?

 

The "be your self" motto hasn't help me a bit in my love life.

 

I have to start all over from zero....it is so frustrating.

 

I tried tinder to distract my self and rebuild some confidence but it is so based on looks that i don't get quality match. I'm an average guy not very attractive.

 

If only i could rewired my brain in order to be attracted from 5 or 6's girls i would ok. I can generally attract those.

 

But my body and mind clicks only on 7 or 8.

 

I know that look should not be everything. I'm a 5/6 my self so it make sense that my face is not "me", but nevetheless i can't really control who am i attracted to.

 

thank you guys for everything

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Thank you so much guys. Even getting any reply makes me feel better.

 

Thanks for sharing your stories with me. I never felt such a pain in my life because this time i was really invested in this relationship.

 

It's so hard to be alone again.

 

It is as you said, morning and nights are the worst. I miss her so much.

 

Sometime everything seems like a nightmare, i experience the weird feeling of living a bad dream.

 

Feel rejected from a person you love and that once was "in love" with you make my brain go nuts.

 

The harsh truth is that she may not even been in love with me in the first place.

 

She thought she was but maybe it was just attraction.

 

I, on the other hand, was very happy. I felt like all pieces of the puzzle were coming togheter. I got a new job, got some new cool friends and i was planning on doing trips and vacation with my GF.

 

But since she landed a temporary job far away from our city she had the time to be on her own and to meet new people.

 

It is so disappointing to discover how fragile and lean were her feelings for me.

 

I feel cheated.

 

Isn't that always the reasons why couple break-up? One is more in love than the other one.

 

I'm tryng to take some time for my self to heal, but it works so slowly. And now that summer is over my city got cold and rainy. Doesn't help much LOL

 

What i discovered is that i have serious issues.

 

It seems like my relationships fail always for the same reasons. The attraction goes aways and they search for something else.

 

I'd really like to figure relationship out because my dream is to be a father one day and have a family.

 

How do you keep the person you love to your self?

 

The "be your self" motto hasn't help me a bit in my love life.

 

I have to start all over from zero....it is so frustrating.

 

I tried tinder to distract my self and rebuild some confidence but it is so based on looks that i don't get quality match. I'm an average guy not very attractive.

 

If only i could rewired my brain in order to be attracted from 5 or 6's girls i would ok. I can generally attract those.

 

But my body and mind clicks only on 7 or 8.

 

I know that look should not be everything. I'm a 5/6 my self so it make sense that my face is not "me", but nevetheless i can't really control who am i attracted to.

 

thank you guys for everything

 

I can relate Andrew I too been dumped a no. Of timed and it's the same pattern. I won't go into my details suffice to say that we have to break the pattern. Find out out way that pattern is may I suggest therapy to do that. That I think will really give u an awareness to tackle this cycle u keep finding yourself in. I was only talking to another gut yesterday about these recurring patterns and for him it was about codepensancy for me it is not being committed. I am but not fully and I can get lazy and take the relationship for granted. Find out learn what it is u need to do to break that cycle

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Yeah. I know i am supposed to focus on my self right now. I have to find the energy and the power to do so because i feel angry about it all.

Like i'm here feeling like dead meat and she's having fun with her new friends and possibly a new lover.

So much for karma, right?

 

It is so frustrating. I know i should welcome this opportunity to growth but i still can't let go the feeling of being rejected by the person who i loved the most.

I wish i could go with lobotomy or stuff like that to simply forget completely about her.

The most painful part is knowing that she doesn't miss me at all. I'm nothing to her. it destroys me and everything we have done and been together.

 

You know what could fix such a heart problem? another love. Another big and powerful love. I'm not talking about a rebound but a real new relationship.

I'm already ready to meet new girl and form a new relationshio.

But it is so rare and hard to get it.

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You know what could fix such a heart problem? another love. Another big and powerful love. I'm not talking about a rebound but a real new relationship.

I'm already ready to meet new girl and form a new relationshio.

But it is so rare and hard to get it.

 

 

 

Be careful what you wish for because you might get it.

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Yeah. I know i am supposed to focus on my self right now. I have to find the energy and the power to do so because i feel angry about it all.

Like i'm here feeling like dead meat and she's having fun with her new friends and possibly a new lover.

So much for karma, right?

 

It is so frustrating. I know i should welcome this opportunity to growth but i still can't let go the feeling of being rejected by the person who i loved the most.

I wish i could go with lobotomy or stuff like that to simply forget completely about her.

The most painful part is knowing that she doesn't miss me at all. I'm nothing to her. it destroys me and everything we have done and been together.

 

You know what could fix such a heart problem? another love. Another big and powerful love. I'm not talking about a rebound but a real new relationship.

I'm already ready to meet new girl and form a new relationshio.

But it is so rare and hard to get it.

 

You're not ready....yet....but you will be one day.

 

You are absolutely correct in that you need to find another love to finally get over this one but you have to be ready for it. If you are sensing patterns in women leaving you it is something you are doing or not doing that is causing them to leave or you are picking the wrong women with which to get involved.

 

My advice would be to get out there and date. You'll make a ton of mistakes and learn and be ready when she finally does come along.

 

I was out of the game for about 17 years and I had no idea what I was doing anymore. Reading Corey Wayne's book and watching his videos (along with Craig Kenneth) and recently Mouth of the Ape on YouTube has been extremely helpful and reminded me of all the stuff I used to know.

 

The biggest issue I had was I made the woman I loved my entire life and happiness. I realized that I would get upset with them when they were less than perfect. That when they didn't measure up to my ideals I was disappointed. This manifested itself in the relationship (they made mistakes as well but I own my part in it). I was never a jerk but I pulled back. Once they left it felt like my entire world came crashing down because they were my happiness.

 

Now, I'm learning to be happy with just me. I don't need a woman in my life to bring happiness - I have it all on my own.

 

Corey Wayne really opened my eyes to the way women think and using his teachings I have been much more successful. I have yet to find one I want to have an LTR with but I'm ok with that. When it happens, it happens and I'll be ready to do it right this time.

 

It know it sounds corny but my breakup made me into a better man. I'm not the same person I was before. But, it took me a year to get here and I still have more to go.

 

I'll leave you with this - the pain you are feeling is temporary. I know it feels like forever but one day you'll look back and be happy you are no longer with her.

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