Ex broke no contact and then ignored me again ?

[Nonameguy123]

Just looking for clarity and why people do this or if anyone has any experience with it .

 

Was in no contact for about 3 months . Girl left me for her ex after dating a little over a year . Not a good break up .

 

She texts me a few days ago to ask me something ,she was kind of mean at first and then we started catching up for a few minutes and then seemed happy / nice toward the end . Convo ended on nice terms .

 

Few days later I text her to ask her something very simple . Not looking for anything other than what I was asking her. Completely ignores me and doesn't respond .

 

Just curious why text me one day and then ignore me the next ?

 

I understand she has a bf now who's serious but then why even bother texting me .

 

Appreciate any advice .

Edited September 15, 2017 by Nonameguy123

[SevenCity]

Just looking for clarity and why people do this or if anyone has any experience with it .

 

Was in no contact for about 3 months . Girl left me for her ex after dating a little over a year . Not a good break up .

 

She texts me a few days ago to ask me something ,she was kind of mean at first and then we started catching up for a few minutes and then seemed happy / nice toward the end . Convo ended on nice terms .

 

Few days later I text her to ask her something very simple . Not looking for anything other than what I was asking her. Completely ignores me and doesn't respond .

 

Just curious why text me one day and then ignore me the next ?

 

I understand she has a bf now who's serious but then why even bother texting me .

 

Appreciate any advice .

 

 

 

Happens all the time. My ex who I dated for 7 years did this a few months ago.

 

She may have been scared off when I sugguested a meet up but all I was looking for was "It's not a good idea" so I could finally close the door as she left for ambiguous reasons which stilldont make any sense a year later.

 

My theory is they want validation / alieviate guilt. Once they get it they feel better and have no need to contact you.

 

I REALLY thought my ex was different but they are all the same.

 

Another poster had said he was brought here by a YouTube guy called Mouth of the Ape. I decided to check out his vids and I liked them. He said that when someone reaches out to you it gives you power because they are looking for your attention. He says it's important to hold onto this power by not responding of giving a minimal response in relation.

 

He continued to say holding onto that power helps you heal. It made a lot of sense. He furthered by saying your ex may be doing the reaching out to help them deal with the breakup. Once they get the response they have the power and can heal better - even when they had no intention of coming back.

 

Food for thought.

[Nonameguy123]

Thanks for the advice seven .

 

Guess I shouldn't of responded .

 

Sort of set me back a little but we hadn't spoken in 3 months so I thought we could be mature .

 

Just don't get why even try to be friendly and then just ignore .

[Goodguy05]

My ex wife reached out to get together I wasn't ready just at that point but decided to a little while later then she started going hot and cold and then wanted a divorce it reset my healing right to the beginning I learnt be very very careful wen an ex reaches out.

[SevenCity]

Thanks for the advice seven .

 

Guess I shouldn't of responded .

 

Sort of set me back a little but we hadn't spoken in 3 months so I thought we could be mature .

 

Just don't get why even try to be friendly and then just ignore .

 

You're right. It's rude and I considerate and behavior you would not expect from someone who once claimed they loved you. Hell, I wouldn't do it if the roles were reversed.

 

They say you don't really know someone until you break up with them. This is who she is. Selfish and inconsiderate. Remember that when you reminisce about the good times.

[BC1980]

That happens all the time. It's a classic bait and switch. She was probably curious since you hadn't talked in 3 months. She reached out to satisfy her curiosity, and, now, she's moved on.

[Bromeo]

Just looking for clarity and why people do this or if anyone has any experience with it .

 

Was in no contact for about 3 months . Girl left me for her ex after dating a little over a year . Not a good break up .

 

She texts me a few days ago to ask me something ,she was kind of mean at first and then we started catching up for a few minutes and then seemed happy / nice toward the end . Convo ended on nice terms .

 

Few days later I text her to ask her something very simple . Not looking for anything other than what I was asking her. Completely ignores me and doesn't respond .

 

Just curious why text me one day and then ignore me the next ?

 

I understand she has a bf now who's serious but then why even bother texting me .

 

Appreciate any advice .

 

Mine did this to me for months. Drove me absolutely nuts. Because things were left unsaid, her leaving, and playing the above games caused me to act way, way outside of my normal self.

 

You seem pretty centered. Don't be like me. I went to my exs work after the bait/switch, hot/cold games to tell her I love her and wanted to work through things.

 

She dropped the boom on me. lol

 

And really, they all read from the same insecure playbook. I thought my ex was different - she wasn't, and yours isn't either.

 

7 months of hard nc later she liked a ton of stuff on my page. It set me back, but I ignored it pretty hard. I'd invite you to do the same.

 

Be safe.

[Nonameguy123]

Mine did this to me for months. Drove me absolutely nuts. Because things were left unsaid, her leaving, and playing the above games caused me to act way, way outside of my normal self.

 

You seem pretty centered. Don't be like me. I went to my exs work after the bait/switch, hot/cold games to tell her I love her and wanted to work through things.

 

She dropped the boom on me. lol

 

And really, they all read from the same insecure playbook. I thought my ex was different - she wasn't, and yours isn't either.

 

7 months of hard nc later she liked a ton of stuff on my page. It set me back, but I ignored it pretty hard. I'd invite you to do the same.

 

Be safe.

 

Really appreciate you sharing your experience .

 

Sadly the first few months I was pretty pathetic as well so I can relate . No unannounced visits lol but plenty of texting and just not letting go .

 

That's why when I finally felt like maybe I was moving on her reaching out and then ignoring again set me back a little.

 

Very much agree as well . It's such a sign of insecurity on there end and just shows their true colors .

 

Lesson learned .

[Buriall]

Happens all the time. My ex who I dated for 7 years did this a few months ago.

 

She may have been scared off when I sugguested a meet up but all I was looking for was "It's not a good idea" so I could finally close the door as she left for ambiguous reasons which stilldont make any sense a year later.

 

My theory is they want validation / alieviate guilt. Once they get it they feel better and have no need to contact you.

 

I REALLY thought my ex was different but they are all the same.

 

Another poster had said he was brought here by a YouTube guy called Mouth of the Ape. I decided to check out his vids and I liked them. He said that when someone reaches out to you it gives you power because they are looking for your attention. He says it's important to hold onto this power by not responding of giving a minimal response in relation.

 

He continued to say holding onto that power helps you heal. It made a lot of sense. He furthered by saying your ex may be doing the reaching out to help them deal with the breakup. Once they get the response they have the power and can heal better - even when they had no intention of coming back.

 

Food for thought.

 

Mouth of ape got some good ****ing videos.. Got me through my worst nights.

[SevenCity]

Mouth of ape got some good ****ing videos.. Got me through my worst nights.

 

Yea man - good stuff and wish I found him earlier.

 

I still can't figure out why he's naked in most of the vids

[Redhead14]

Ex broke no contact and then ignored me again ? -- I think it shows she's good at breaking things -- hearts and no contact boundaries . . .

[Buriall]

Yea man - good stuff and wish I found him earlier.

 

I still can't figure out why he's naked in most of the vids

 

I guess he feels more comfortable in his skin? thats a good question because i wondered the same q lol

[ExpatInItaly]

What did she say in her initial message to you, and what was the question you asked before she went silent again?

[Bromeo]

I guess he feels more comfortable in his skin? thats a good question because i wondered the same q lol

 

I was wondering the exact same thing. Lol

 

Good stuff, and because of the lack of products to hype, he gives straight dope.

[Holmes85]

Just looking for clarity and why people do this or if anyone has any experience with it .

 

Was in no contact for about 3 months . Girl left me for her ex after dating a little over a year . Not a good break up .

 

She texts me a few days ago to ask me something ,she was kind of mean at first and then we started catching up for a few minutes and then seemed happy / nice toward the end . Convo ended on nice terms .

 

Few days later I text her to ask her something very simple . Not looking for anything other than what I was asking her. Completely ignores me and doesn't respond .

 

Just curious why text me one day and then ignore me the next ?

 

I understand she has a bf now who's serious but then why even bother texting me .

 

Appreciate any advice .

 

Nonameguy123,

 

Look dude, this girl left you for someone else. She wasted one year of your life. She threw all the love you gave her back on your face, but she wasn't done yet, she kicked you when you were down and than slammed you again by hooking up with someone else (who happens to be her ex).

 

3 months goes by, one of the following happens or all scenarios apply :

 

-She feels bad for what she did and wants to check up on you, hence she's being super mean and super nice seeing how you are cool with all that.

 

-She feels that she not sure about her Ex yet, might as well still have you as a backup plan

 

-She feels that while she tests out of the water with her Ex and give you a itsy bitsy of hope, so you don't completely fly away in someone else arm (very close to the second point I made).

 

Now what do you think? Does any of this look like a positive scenario for YOU? I am 100% sure than your answer is NO.

 

Dude do the following ASAP :

 

-Delete her number from your phone or block her

-Delete her pictures or put them somewhere that you don't easily reach for

-Delete her from all the social media

-Go proper dark on her

 

She would message you and inquire what happened and try to get a response out of you, use her tactics, but you do not budge, I repeat you do not give her ANY sort of message back, ignore it completely.

 

Take this time for yourself, stop beating yourself up if you did this & that than the outcome would be different, revisit your old hobbies or do things you didn't get the time to since you were in a relationship, step by step make a positive change in your life, one day when you are successful, have a girlfriend who appreciates you and doesn't leave you for her ex, this madam would get in touch with you and send you all the classic smoke signals to get your interest back, but by that time this madam would be history in your backs.

 

Move forward with your life, don't give this girl another change and waste anymore of your time, you giving her a second chance is practically you saying to her "darling, it's more than okay what you did", let her learn her lesson for life, thats the only way she'll learn...even if she doesn't, she wouldn't be your problem anymore. Good Luck.

[Marc878]

No contact us totally up to you not her.

 

Why are you wasting your time on this?

[clist8511]

That happens all the time. It's a classic bait and switch. She was probably curious since you hadn't talked in 3 months. She reached out to satisfy her curiosity, and, now, she's moved on.

 

This. Don't read anything into it. Most of these people do this.