ruipedrovelose Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 First of all, I wanted to say that I was never a guy who dates someone, I had so many one night stands or things without value because I was always believed once I found the love of my life I would know and in fact, I did. After 1-year living and working outside of my home country I decided to come back and bought a house. Was summer I was with my friends and I started to talk with her, I met her the first time 5 years ago and I had her on my facebook. She's 24 I'm 28 Well after all that time and after I bought my house I saw she was in town (her family town she doesn't live there) we started talking and to my surprise before I knew it I was in love. I didn't tell her, she went away to her town. After one week I sent her one message and told her if she wanted to go on vacations I would pay for it. Everything went smoothly we drink lot's of alcohol smoked weed and after that, I told her that I had feelings for her and even asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She loved the way I asked and accepted. Vacations were over she went back to her town I came back to mine. For the next two years mostly I would move and saw her, everything was perfect most of the time. We would go to lot's of new places in vacations and stuff every weekend I would go to see her and sometimes she would move aswell. She was always saying I was the love of her life, she was the most romantic girl I knew, to be honest, and during all the time of the relationship, I had 2 big discussions that I will mention in here. First one - I was searching for something on Facebook and I saw her ex-boyfriend in the latest search, I didn't tell her right away but after a few days that was bothering me (I admit maybe I was a bit child here). After a few day's I told her if she was searching for her boyfriend and she lied to me I explain that I saw and she continued lying and denying. I was mad because of the lie than anything else. We had a little argument but I admitted that I over reacted. She aborted of this boyfriend and she was abusive ... So I guess I wanted to protect her The second one - This one is really worst and I almost break up but she started to cry and I forgave her. Her mom was talking to her and she asked me to send a message to her mom from her phone. For my surprise, she was talking with a random guy, apparently one night she went out with some friend drunk so much that started to fight a girl. She picked up the car and saw a guy on the street and just asked him if he needed a ride, so she gave him a ride out of nowhere. next day he sends him a message asking if she was better, she didn't remember him and asked what happened he told her that she was drunk drive him home out of nowhere and left. After that she said sorry and he didn't answer again so I don't think something happened. I showed her what I discovered and she didn't know what to say we had a big argument but she told me she would never do it again and after a lot of talking, I forgave her. So the most part of the 2 years our relationship was great other than that 2 dramas. I lost my job some months ago before she broke up. My company ended but money was not a problem I had plenty for the house for the next 5 6 years if I wanted to. But obviously, I couldn't pay her vacations all the time in random places. Even after that our relationship was good, she has anxiety problems, like big ones and I have shown support towards that all the time and I can say that sometimes that wasn't easy. The last time we were together she was really bad because of her anxiety and 1 plate broke and she would refuse to eat because was afraid the rest of the plates and broken glass, this was close to her anniversary. she got better and we had an amazing birthday she even told me was the best she has ever had. Everything was ok but after some time she got worst of her anxiety and she had to see her doctor. So we called off the vacations a bit earlier. She couldn't have lied about the anxiety because she talked with her mom on the phone about it so I think that is legit. The university started, her friends came back and on the first day of classes out of the blue (the day before we were really sweet) she send me one text saying this I will resume "I want to say this straight forward I want to broke up. I like you very much but I feel our relationship isn't working. You talked a lot about a future and my life is a mess. I feel like you are putting your life on standby because of me. We are all the time arguing and I know you gonna say all couples argue but with us is too much. I really like you and you are really good to me but for the time being, I don't have what it takes to be in a relationship. believe me, it's the best for you. I'm sorry at this time I can't" Ok after this my head really explode. But I took some time before answering and told her "well I know this could happen I mean I understand you have anxiety and had to come back early but I see that you look better and don't even say something about us being together. I love you but I'm starting to feel you don't have the same feelings for me anymore if this was before you would always ask when we could see each other. You know I only want to go straight to you right away and tell you I love you and don't leave but I guess that will not change how you feel, I hope you fix your anxiety and be happy *" She didn't reply for a couple of hours but when she replied she said "I'm sorry but I need time for me to know what I want gonna miss you please don't hate me" At this point I felt she didn't want to talk anymore idk so I just send this : "I don't gonna hate. look I feel that you don't have the same will to see me like before. I understand, just don't make this a cliche where you say "I need to discover myself and time to me" I hope you fix your life, kiss and you don't have to answer" She didn't answer indeed. Well I'm kinda confused I'm depressed I don't really know what to do should I fight for her? I don't want to feel desperate or beg, I always thought when you love someone you fix things you don't give all of that away this easily. I have NC with her since this... but i checked her instagram today and she's living her life.. don't really look sad and is hanging with friends. I also had a job proposal in another country but I'm not sure I should take it i'm so broken and I need my friends right away... I'm sorry for me english guy's.. I just wanna know if u guy's think i'm doing the right choice... i'm lost... Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Congrats on the job offer! Sorry about the break up but the fresh start of a new job in a different country is likely a great distraction. Go for it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ruipedrovelose Posted September 14, 2017 Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 Congrats on the job offer! Sorry about the break up but the fresh start of a new job in a different country is likely a great distraction. Go for it! thanks for the strength Cersei I just don't know if I should have said something more.. I don't want her thinking I don't care but I don't see any good will come out if I beg... until now the NC is been stressful and really difficult I don't feel I have said how much I like her... Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Oh it's going to be tough no doubt. NC is so freaking difficult. But begging is not classy. Don't resort to that. Hang in there and think of a fresh start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ruipedrovelose Posted September 18, 2017 Author Share Posted September 18, 2017 You may want to simply become her friend. A question you may want to ask yourself is What are your intentions with her? The philosopher Thomas Aquinas once said, “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” Perhaps being her friend can mean that you gain her trust and she you. Perhaps being her friend means that you can call upon her in difficult times. Doing that is how we can connect with others! Someone once said I may not always be there with you, but I will always be there for you. thanks for the feedback blessed. My intentions are quite simple, I love her and I don't want to become a backup plan for her. out of the blue, she called things off via facebook lol, that shows lack of respect on my point of view. She said she wanted to find herself and time for her. I told her I would not bother her anymore and we have been NC for 6 days. This time by myself made me think that maybe she didn't love me that much. She is a student and her friends are back in town and maybe she wants to be single which I understand since she is 4 years younger than me. The only thing I don't understand was the timing, everything was ok the day before. The only thing ****ing with my head is "hope" that she will eventually come back because every photo of us is still on her facebook but honestly, I think I'm just fooling myself and in the end, it will hurt me even more. I did nothing to broke her trust and somewhat I believe she may ended because I was the super nice guy... and before I met her I wasn't, I was a super confident guy just ****ing random women. The problem was I got in love and treated her right and maybe I'm not interesting enough anymore. Her ex was abusive and she was after him all the time, I guess some women just like challenge and honestly, I stopped being one because I loved her Link to post Share on other sites
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