Break up

[Yolosloth]

Hey everyone I'm new to this fourm stuff.

Let me get to it. I was with this girl for 2 years and 7 months ago she broke up with me. This girl loved me for sure even at my lowest. Well when we first started dating about 2 months in she got pregnant. She hinted to abortion and I supported her because I felt like that's what she wanted. I work as a Manger at my family restaurant that's been open for 25 years and I wasn't able to go to the abortion clinic when it happened and I still feel like a dick over it. Well time went and she kept telling me about how she feels bad about the abortion which happened a couple times through out our two years together. I comforted her and whatnot. We were living together for about a year and a half as well. I live a high stress job and other things clouded my mind and I neglected her love even tho when I would be crying about things going on in my family business such as people who worked for us for 16 year who thought it would be good idea to steal and just how things been falling apart it felt like for me. She was always there for me. But I kept falling deeper into depression developing anger issue and lashing out at people. I never hurt her or ever would physically. But I would come off like a dick in some situations Idk I felt like I was having so much trouble expressing myself. Well we go on this cruise with her family and friends and everything was going good but I lashed out at this waiter on the ship who was clearing giving me an attitude over something. I cursed her out in front of her family and that was it. She broke it off after that. We got back from the cruise didn't say a word to each other all the way back home. She came and picked up some things and went to her dad's. I tried to give space for a couple days. I called her told her that I loved her and that I been all over the place with my emotions and there wasn't an excuse worth what I did and it was horrible. I sent her flowers for weeks on end trying to get her back I sent notes to her house saying how sorry I am. Eventually I got her to talk to me and told her I hope we could rekindle things in the future and she said maybe. I broke down a couple times to her. But then she leaves her main things at my house for like 4 months and I kept asking her to come get them. In my head I guess I was thinking I could try and get back with her if she hasn't came and got her things because maybe she didn't want to move on. She finally came and I tried telling her how much I loved her and whatnot. During all this she past a comment about I didn't know what she has to go through since the abortion and I tried telling her it affected me too. That why I started to get depressed and why I was ****ing up at work and isolation myself. She told me that we aren't getting back together. Couple weeks go by maybe a month and she calls me asking if she could have her bike I bought her for her birthday. Me with a smile on my face because I felt needed for something ran and brought to her and was nice. But nothing works and the worst part is I'm close to her whole family. My best friend is her brother. I chill as **** with her mom dad likes me and talks to me when I see him and everyone else. I been trying so hard to change my attitude and try and be more positive. She works with a whole bunch of gay guys at this restaurant and I know she isn't seeing anyone since we broke up and neither have I. We use to be so close. I was talking to her mom one night cause she was over by my neighbors house and just told her I thought me and her daughter would have gotten back together by now and that I was happy she was going to Italy and doing new things. After that she posted some mean things pointed towards me on Facebook. I messaged her if she could not be like that I don't post or say mean things about you to others. She started acting all mean since I told her mom what I said and then she said don't get the pleasure of thinking my post are about you. Which clearly they are. But I just deleted her from Facebook and now I'm here Still missing her but now I can't keep tabs anymore. I just want to get her back and I feel all I do is push her away further and further everytime. Then her family always finds a way to bring her up to me. And she still comes and eats at my restaurant. The last time she did I payed for there food since it was her sister's birthday. I'm trying to control my anger even went to counseling for a bit. But nothing gets me closer to her. Sorry about being so long I'm just in love after 7 months of being broken up. Something in me tells me to wait but Idk. Advice from anyone will be grateful. Maybe I can finish up school get my degree and work on myself.

[Yolosloth]

Was I to emotionally dependent with her. To clingy. I think the abortion played a deeper role. When I talked to her in person last around 4 months into breakup she was tearing up but still told me no. I just want to prove to her that I can change and be the happy joking person I used to be or is it to late because I messed up. She was so loving and I deserve the torture for what I did to her but I feel like I messed up by deleting her on Facebook cause now I can't show her the change I want to make and Im to scared to send a request again cause I don't think she will accept it. Plus her new gay friend who is 30 and she is 21 probably keeps helping her forget about me. They hang out all day everyday. I don't understand

Edited September 9, 2017 by Yolosloth

[springy]

Hey everyone I'm new to this fourm stuff.

Let me get to it. I was with this girl for 2 years and 7 months ago she broke up with me. This girl loved me for sure even at my lowest. Well when we first started dating about 2 months in she got pregnant. She hinted to abortion and I supported her because I felt like that's what she wanted. I work as a Manger at my family restaurant that's been open for 25 years and I wasn't able to go to the abortion clinic when it happened and I still feel like a dick over it.

 

Well time went and she kept telling me about how she feels bad about the abortion which happened a couple times through out our two years together. I comforted her and whatnot. We were living together for about a year and a half as well. I live a high stress job and other things clouded my mind and I neglected her love even tho when I would be crying about things going on in my family business such as people who worked for us for 16 year who thought it would be good idea to steal and just how things been falling apart it felt like for me. She was always there for me. But I kept falling deeper into depression developing anger issue and lashing out at people.

 

I never hurt her or ever would physically. But I would come off like a dick in some situations Idk I felt like I was having so much trouble expressing myself. Well we go on this cruise with her family and friends and everything was going good but I lashed out at this waiter on the ship who was clearing giving me an attitude over something. I cursed her out in front of her family and that was it. She broke it off after that. We got back from the cruise didn't say a word to each other all the way back home. She came and picked up some things and went to her dad's. I tried to give space for a couple days.

 

I called her told her that I loved her and that I been all over the place with my emotions and there wasn't an excuse worth what I did and it was horrible. I sent her flowers for weeks on end trying to get her back I sent notes to her house saying how sorry I am. Eventually I got her to talk to me and told her I hope we could rekindle things in the future and she said maybe. I broke down a couple times to her. But then she leaves her main things at my house for like 4 months and I kept asking her to come get them. In my head I guess I was thinking I could try and get back with her if she hasn't came and got her things because maybe she didn't want to move on.

 

She finally came and I tried telling her how much I loved her and whatnot. During all this she past a comment about I didn't know what she has to go through since the abortion and I tried telling her it affected me too. That why I started to get depressed and why I was ****ing up at work and isolation myself. She told me that we aren't getting back together. Couple weeks go by maybe a month and she calls me asking if she could have her bike I bought her for her birthday. Me with a smile on my face because I felt needed for something ran and brought to her and was nice. But nothing works and the worst part is I'm close to her whole family.

 

My best friend is her brother. I chill as **** with her mom dad likes me and talks to me when I see him and everyone else. I been trying so hard to change my attitude and try and be more positive.

 

She works with a whole bunch of gay guys at this restaurant and I know she isn't seeing anyone since we broke up and neither have I. We use to be so close. I was talking to her mom one night cause she was over by my neighbors house and just told her I thought me and her daughter would have gotten back together by now and that I was happy she was going to Italy and doing new things. After that she posted some mean things pointed towards me on Facebook. I messaged her if she could not be like that I don't post or say mean things about you to others.

 

She started acting all mean since I told her mom what I said and then she said don't get the pleasure of thinking my post are about you. Which clearly they are. But I just deleted her from Facebook and now I'm here Still missing her but now I can't keep tabs anymore. I just want to get her back and I feel all I do is push her away further and further everytime. Then her family always finds a way to bring her up to me. And she still comes and eats at my restaurant. The last time she did I payed for there food since it was her sister's birthday.

 

I'm trying to control my anger even went to counseling for a bit. But nothing gets me closer to her. Sorry about being so long I'm just in love after 7 months of being broken up. Something in me tells me to wait but Idk. Advice from anyone will be grateful. Maybe I can finish up school get my degree and work on myself.

 

I broke this up so maybe people will respond. You have to break up big blocks of text as it is hard on the reader and you get less responses.

[Been]

Its a mess. Your going to have to go NC to work on YOU because you want to not for her.

Right now your just begging and that's a huge turn off. I know yo don't mean it but that's what its become.

[bummer]

Where do you want to be in 5 years in your most ambitious dreams?

Where do you want to be in 5 years realistically?

Where do you not want to be in 5 years?

 

What concrete things did you learn from this that you will make sure to do and not do with the next woman? List them for yourself, on paper. Study it.

 

Yolo, man. YOLO. Stay of FB, it's bad for you.

[Yolosloth]

I'm trying to work on myself. I lost weight trying to stay focus at the business and it just doesn't work. 7 months and the last time she talk to me was really bitter about it and mean. I want to show her I care Yall feel me

[Yolosloth]

My bad about the disorganization I have never been on one of these before

[bummer]

I'm trying to work on myself. I lost weight trying to stay focus at the business and it just doesn't work. 7 months and the last time she talk to me was really bitter about it and mean. I want to show her I care Yall feel me

 

What didn't work? Focusing on work and not her? Or the weight loss? You're leaving my questions hanging.

 

Think of this hypothetical situation: You break an antique vase. You are a nice, respectful guy and you have all the good intentions in the world. You didn't mean to, but you still broke an irreplaceable vase. You can't change that. It's broken. Forever. Glue and saying you're sorry only gets you an ugly vase and bitter, mean yelling.

 

We feel you. We just know that trying to show her you care, since the vase is broken at this point, DOES NOT WORK.

 

Repeat:

 

"trying to beg your way back into her heart does not work!!"

 

If you read this, repeat it back to us so we know you understand.

[Yolosloth]

Trying to beg your way back into her life will not work. I know things will get better. I made mistakes and it my job to come back on top and prove that I am stronger than expecte. I'm so sorry to myself about the abortion. Wish I would have never done it but I know things will get better with time. She has changed a lot since the break up. This is a girl who drinks rarely and lives her family to death and since the break up she is now going out with her gay friends who are 10 years older than her getting drunk all the time posting mean things towards me on Facebook. She is fighting her own demons and I am too. I'ma prove to her what she thinks I can't and when she does oh well she won't deserve me once I'm at the top. Thanks for some advice Yall. Meant a lot even if I don't know Yall...