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Wierd Breakup out of the blue [UPDATE: Horrible coping 6 months]


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 7th August 2017, 1:49 AM   #16
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Will she realize what she threw away?
Maybe not 100% today but she's probably 60% sure she doesn't want you anymore. Hence, she's asked you to step back.

Stop finding out what she's doing, focus on yourself, get your head straight, and move forward.
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Old 7th August 2017, 4:35 AM   #17
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Shall i just unfollow her from everything?

Instagram Snapchat etc
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Old 7th August 2017, 5:03 AM   #18
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Ladies and gents,

Is there a chance she was unfairfull?
In how many cases does the dumper have a fallback guy?
It's statistically proven that over 50% of women have a fallback guy, whilst in a relationship. It's completely standard behaviour.

Let alone whilst planning on leaving one

Commonly, when a "breakup comes out of the blue", it's not out of the blue at all. It's been planned for a short while.

Do not take her back as a girlfriend.

She can now be no more than a fwb (if your ego can take it, not easy for a girl you had big feelings for). Probably best that you cut her off completely.
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Old 7th August 2017, 6:14 AM   #19
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Young man, you are very naive, so let me clarify a few things for you.

1. For you it came out of the blue. For her it was a process.

2. She started with a new guy before she broke up with you. I cannot know if it was infidelity involved. Usually (not always) there is at least some element of infidelity. If I must take a guess according to what you've mentioned here, I would guess that she already had sex with him before the break up.

3. She is working hard for you to not know about her new guy, so the evidence you see on social media is havily filtered.

4. She has completely checked out . He contacting you is an express of selfishness. With the excuse she tells herself (not wanting to hurt you) she allows herself to keep you on the side, in case shomething goes wrong with the new guy(s).

5. You will probably not listen to my advice but I strongly recommend to start full NO CONTACT. It means you should not only unfriend her, but block her in everything including phone call and mails.
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Old 7th August 2017, 8:34 AM   #20
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All that she Said that she hopes we get back together that she Said to my grandmother "we Will meet soon again" was all that lies?

Why does it feel like she thinks she can have her bit of fun and then comeback?

Was everything just lies? How ****ing could she why didnt she ****ing communicate with me.

Why the **** havent she communicated with me.

Was it all lies? Growing apart love but not in love the distance, "just want to finish studies".

Why didnt she communicate with me?
Why didnt she just ****ing tell me something was wrong?

Was it all excuses and lies?

What s ****ing complete piece of ****

She said it was forever always me and her, we were going to Venice to croatia over the summer...

WTF

Will she realize once i am completely gone?

Last edited by Wobugan; 7th August 2017 at 8:40 AM..
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Old 7th August 2017, 8:57 AM   #21
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"All that she Said that she hopes we get back together that she Said to my grandmother "we Will meet soon again" was all that lies?"


YES

"Why does it feel like she thinks she can have her bit of fun and then comeback?"

She won't come back, she is over you. She thinks about you in a loving and caring way as much as you think about Margaret Thatcher in a loving and caring way.


"Was everything just lies? How ****ing could she why didnt she ****ing communicate with me".

Because your questioning and obviously frustrated responses that you are showing here, would make her uncomfortable to deal with in person. She doesn't want to answer your "Was everything lies?" question in person, and then have you challenge her on it, plead for her to stay with you etc. It's much easier and less embarrassing for her to ghost you and give you 'feel good' breakup reasoning.


Why didnt she communicate with me?
Why didnt she just ****ing tell me something was wrong?

Because you seem like the kind of guy that won't take, "I am not interested in you anymore" for an answer.


Will she realize once i am completely gone?
Do you realize Margaret Thatcher is gone? No, because she cares about and pines for you as much as you do Margaret Thatcher. Move on, act like an adult. Not every woman has to love you. A lot of guys meet a girl and have a few good dates and think she will be in love with him for eternity, but like you, sometimes women grow tired of the guy they are dating. Sometimes at first they are really interested and over time lose attraction or become annoyed by you.


Move on, you might need to mature a bit before you take on another relationship.
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Old 7th August 2017, 9:57 AM   #22
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This guy that she is probably fliritng with for how long would they have had something going on?

I recognized communication dropping as she got Into this student group....

What in the actual **** did she just leave me for someone else?

Why did she say things like "who knows maybe he gets i to university here and we start seeing eachother again"

Is it really all just ****ing lies?!

Feel so blindsided and left begin how can the just immedietly jump on to something else..

Wtf
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Old 7th August 2017, 10:09 AM   #23
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It's called game, mate. Just bog standard girl-game. She's playing you.

Now you know what she's doing, you can either turn it around on her, or you can just cut her out of your life.

I wouldn't advise flipping out at her. That's never made me feel better.

If you want to cut her off, then just completely ignore her. It'll make you feel better long-term, and it'll drive her mad lol
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Old 7th August 2017, 12:39 PM   #24
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OP, she is immature and inexperienced in love.

It's not likely she immediately jumped into something else. It probably had been brewing for a while. That doesn't mean she cheated, but it could very well mean she'd had a crush and was getting friendly with him before she ended it with you.

What she says to your grandma is what she thinks you and Grandma want to hear. Of course she doesn't want to be painted as the bad guy, so she's going to say whatever gets people off her back and makes her look good. You can't put any weight into that.
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Old 8th August 2017, 12:09 AM   #25
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Why is she still contacting me?

Yesterday i got a text from her with her New phonenumber "hey hey here is my new phonenumber blablabla"

A thing that is wierd is over the past half year i was sort of getting tired of her as well. I did not see the relationship progress any further
I knew i was going to have to study in a different city i could not get Into the same Uni as her.

Sometimes when i was at her place i just thought she was so boring i just wanted to go home.

Sex was out the Window i did not feel that attracted to her anymore. Everything just sort of went on routine when i went to her city it almost felt like a boring job.

Now i regret not treating her better than i could och i treated her well overall but some things was just missing ... I sort of asked her sometimes why she wont start working out or smth i guess both of us checked out and the relationship ran its course.

However, when she pulled the trigger her stock went from 10-100 she was the girls of my dreams....

Is this realizing what you had until you lose it or just ego?
Is this a false feeling?

What am i exactly longing for is it her in person our relationship or just A relationship?

Itīs very wierd and as i have gotten into the 4th month of our breakup i am not sure at all what i feel anymore... Ofc i feel rejected by her but i donīt know if i miss her as a person or just someone/something....

How can i know if i just miss her or someone / the idea of a relationship?

BR

Last edited by Wobugan; 8th August 2017 at 2:53 AM..
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Old 8th August 2017, 12:29 PM   #26
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gosh i miss her, 4 months post breakup i am moving away 4 hours from her and i feel so damn terrible.

I miss her so damn much, please god donīt let it be that she exchanged me for someone else if thats the case all i can say is that the image i have of her is completely ruined.

Her ****ing name is on my grandfathers tombstone, he was his little girl.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCJK
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Old 8th August 2017, 12:32 PM   #27
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gosh i miss her, 4 months post breakup i am moving away 4 hours from her and i feel so damn terrible.

I miss her so damn much, please god donīt let it be that she exchanged me for someone else if thats the case all i can say is that the image i have of her is completely ruined.

Her ****ing name is on my grandfathers tombstone, he was his little girl.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCJK
What do you mean?
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Old 8th August 2017, 1:21 PM   #28
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What do you mean?

Her grandfather died in cancer when she was 3 and as she was so close to my family she always saw him as her grandfather.

He was so much for her and she was so much for him, we gave her everything our family. We gave her so much everyone of us.

I introduced her to everyone in my homecountry in Croatia everyone loved her no one said anything bad.

She ****ing pissed it all away, she really ****ing did.
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Old 10th August 2017, 3:46 AM   #29
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I havent heard a single beep from her it is obvious she exchanged me for someone else right?

Even if this friend were not to tell me this it would be pretty obvious?

Trying really hard to flirt with other girls to move on but it is hard...
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Old 10th August 2017, 4:07 AM   #30
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You're not ready to flirt with other girls yet,OP. And that's totally okay. Don't pressure yourself.

As for the ex - yes, she could be with someone else. But even if she isn't, when one person is able to make their exit like she did, the relationship was already failing. So even if she wasn't getting close to another guy, the end was probably drawing much nearer than you realized. Yes, it's a crappy way to go. I have also been betrayed, so I know how you are feeling. It shakes you. It changes your perception of the person you thought you knew.

It hurts when you feel like you've opened your heart to someone, and they just bow out. Most of us have been where you are now, at some point in our lives. Partners become part of the family, and then they're just no longer there after a break-up. It's painful, but also have to realize that an ex is not obligated to stay just because you or your family are kind to them. That's a separate matter from how your ex is feeling, and the fact that she checked out.

Believe me, it's better that you haven't heard from her now in a little bit. How confusing would that be? It would set you back once again. Detaching takes time, and No Contact is a good way to achieve that.
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