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Wierd Breakup out of the blue


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 17th August 2017, 12:49 PM   #46
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So i found out from my friends it is 100% confirmed she started seeing this guy just after we broke up. "The old friend".

Its an old "kinda ex" of her which hurt her EXTREMELY bad called her names treated her like **** and is a complete loser and the total opposite of me.

I don´t have words to describe how absolutely discusted i feel about the thought of her just literally a few weeks after our breakup starting to see him and being intime with him.

It´s like she is straight out taking a piss on our whole relationship our family and everything we had 4 ****ing years. any other guy i would be ok with especially if it was someone at UNI or smth that would be understandable. But this ****ing piece of crap.

She is going into another relationship with exactly the same logistical issues the distance etc.

She is NEVER going to get what we had with this guy there is no way in hell.

Just hearing how she invites him to her city cooks for him and everything is so ****ing discusting its exactly those things she used to do for me.

Is she rebounding? isn´t it extremely fast to move on just a few weeks after? Did she start talking to him prior to our breakup perhaps?

Why does she choose to go to something which once was familiar? Is it the comfortness? it is really wierd.

I have removed her from everything as well as my family.


She called me out on why. I explained to her that a relationship requires communication and that we have failed to do it. Also i told her you cannot treat people like crap and expect them to be their friends, i also told her how she could crawl back to that hillbilly literally weeks after our breakup.

She told me it was nothing there and that i knew they have been friends for the last 7 years.

told her don´t you ****ing lie to me i deserve an explanation.

Then she told me she had "hanged" with him a little over the summer.

Hearing from my ****ing friends that they are dating hearing from my friends he is there in her apartment she in his.

What the actual **** this guy is a complete loser takes drugs goes to raves drinks and is not even in the same "group of people" that she hangs with.

He is literally a complete piece of crap, a total hillbilly.

What is it that she is seeing here? wtf has she done?

Is she so damn stupid to realize that she is only going to get used and get hurt again.

****ing girls

I will never in a million years want her back, **** how i miss what we used to have. If someone would told me this was how it would end i would place a 1000000000 to 1 chance of it happening.

Everything i ever thought about her is in complete ****ing ruins.

When i was home laying and ****ing crying she was with this guy, everyone thought our **** would workout. Now she has just taken one big ****ing piss on "us" i am so dissapointed.

Last edited by Wobugan; 17th August 2017 at 1:22 PM..
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Old 9th September 2017, 6:07 PM   #47
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Just wanted to give a quick update.

I still feel terrible longing and sadness Every day still, i just want to be happy again.

I am now Into UNI 4 hours away from her meeting New People new girls got my own first apartment began studying international business management and working out a lot but i really need to find happiness within myself.

In 3 years i will have a degree in Bachelor of business and science, i Will work hard as hell.

I miss what we used to have and how we used to be so loving and caring för eachother. Her going back to an old dirty hillbilly ex just weeks after we broken up feels horrible, absolute horrible.

I have been with one girl since we broke up absolute horrible just how different these two are.

I deleted her from everything some of ny family as well.

Guess NC is the Only way för me to go?

Last edited by Wobugan; 9th September 2017 at 6:12 PM..
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Old 9th September 2017, 6:29 PM   #48
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NC and lots of time. Her choices are likely something you will never fully understand. Just know that many people have experienced being left for someone else. Keep looking forward to your future and pursuing your goals. The pain will dissipate slowly over time. NC all the way. Tell friends no more updates, nothing they share with you about her will be helpful. Sorry.
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Old 10th September 2017, 3:25 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by springy View Post
NC and lots of time. Her choices are likely something you will never fully understand. Just know that many people have experienced being left for someone else. Keep looking forward to your future and pursuing your goals. The pain will dissipate slowly over time. NC all the way. Tell friends no more updates, nothing they share with you about her will be helpful. Sorry.
Hos likely is it that she started talking to hon while in the actual relationshio?

We broke up in may and from what i know she started seeing him in the beginning of june.

When i confronted her about it she told me "you know him and i have been best friends for 7 years"

Then later on admitted it.

Last edited by Wobugan; 10th September 2017 at 3:31 AM..
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:09 AM   #50
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It hurts I know. You trusted someone and they let you down and the on top of that they lied to you. So now your so mad at them because they ruined everything and now even the memories you have of them are tainted in your eyes.
I can't tell you for sure why people do things or why they treat people the way they do. I could write a list of reasons and more then likely one of those reasons would be it.
But I can tell you without a trace of doubt and from experience that no matter the reason given to you it HURTS ALOT. And that the hurt goes from being hurt to being angry. And when people are angry and hurt the first instinct is to lash out at someone. To return the hurt.
Don't carry the anger and resentment around because eventually it will eat you up from the inside and you'll change into a resentful person and future relationships that you have will suffer from a past relationship that is no longer.
In order to move on you have to go NC. No social media. No text. No phone number no updates from friends-nothing.
And then use your time to heal YOU. And you will get buy this.
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:10 AM   #51
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Agreed with all of the above - the way forward here is very strict No Contact. Any information about her will sting and set you back.
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:39 AM   #52
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Originally Posted by Wobugan View Post
Hos likely is it that she started talking to hon while in the actual relationshio?

We broke up in may and from what i know she started seeing him in the beginning of june.

When i confronted her about it she told me "you know him and i have been best friends for 7 years"

Then later on admitted it.
Figuring this out really doesn't matter like you think it does. You've got to stop obsessing over this. Even if you found out she did, it doesn't change the end result that you are no longer together. Hopefully you have cut all communication with this girl and stopped obtaining info about her. You shouldn't confront her about anything else for any reason, ever.

No one expects you to be over her right now, but the fixation on did she or didn't she needs to be managed so it doesn't consume you. Shift your focus to you, to the new school year, new friends, and your future. Be determined to move on like she has moved on and stop wasting your mental and emotional energy on her.
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Old 10th September 2017, 11:08 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by springy View Post
Figuring this out really doesn't matter like you think it does. You've got to stop obsessing over this. Even if you found out she did, it doesn't change the end result that you are no longer together. Hopefully you have cut all communication with this girl and stopped obtaining info about her. You shouldn't confront her about anything else for any reason, ever.

No one expects you to be over her right now, but the fixation on did she or didn't she needs to be managed so it doesn't consume you. Shift your focus to you, to the new school year, new friends, and your future. Be determined to move on like she has moved on and stop wasting your mental and emotional energy on her.
I am 100% determined to move on, i know this does not really matter just finding it so wierd that she just weeks afterwards decided to go back to a ****ty ex flirt from 4 years ago.

All communication is cut as well as all communication from my families side.

Such än ugly way to end such a brautiful relationship, my guess is they started talking during our relationship.

But what does it matter i could never take her back just a shame she went back to a ****ty ex.

I have to stop the obsessing it is killing me headaches Every day is so ****ing annoying filled with hate resentness and regret i dont want to be like this i really dont.
springy likes this.

Last edited by Wobugan; 10th September 2017 at 11:30 AM..
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Old 22nd September 2017, 4:18 AM   #54
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Still have intense headache every day because i keep thinking about her and us. I seriously have a train in my head.

Thinking a lot about how she must have decided to start talking to this guy seeing him just after we broke up feels so absolutely disgusted it feels exactly like she threw everything beautiful we had and took a big **** on it.


How she blamed it on the distance when he is living in the same city.

How she told me i shr hopet we back together.

How she texted me wishing me well and talking to my family.

How she sent me breadcrumbs making me even more confused.

It makes me so ****ing angry, i would never have done this to her.

We had everything and she threw it away för what?! The guy she is seeing now has nothing of what i do, no big loving family no future a complete ****ing loser.

These 5 months have been the worst of ny life i have cried everyday the stress and agony i have felt is something i have never felt before. I have never felt so little, my self confidence is ruined completely.

I just want my ****ing life back. How the **** am i going to manage UNI studies in this state.

I used to be cheerful, enjoying life and happy i have become resentfull, pessimistic and scared to ever love someone again, i am filled with anger and hate.

She gets everything, the city i want to live in a new boyfriend no feelings of sadness it all feels so ****ing unfair.

What in ****ing earth did i do to deserve this?

This girl can **** off and rot in hell

This is the last time this happens to me, never Will i ****ing be dumped and treated like crap again never ever.

I cannot feel any pure happiness any empathy for anyone or anything i can just feel this ****ing hurt, hate, sadness and depression.

She gets everything she gets to be happy.

I Will build myself, get my education work out hard try to love again and live a happy ****ing life hopefully.

Last edited by Wobugan; 22nd September 2017 at 4:34 AM..
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Old 22nd September 2017, 6:10 AM   #55
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I hear you..

Hi. My dear friend wa are on the same boat.
Women have the power to jump from man to man. When they feel their feelings are dying out in a relationship they start immediatly to look for something else.

especially if they are young.

The pattern is always the same. The relationship is great, everything seems fine and you see a bright future ahead of you together.

Well...that is no so not how she felt. She started losing her feelings for you long time ago.

Distance, routine, sex appeal, they all vanish without you noticing because they dont talk, they just act and give weird signal..but usually when you pick them up it's too late.

I'm so sorry for you. The same happen to me but in a different way and i really don't want to tell you the story because if i do i will feel again all the pain and the suffering.

It's been one month now and she's having the best time of her life. To her i am dust. I am nothing. Almost 3 years together have absoluteley no importance.

What is importan for a woman is what she feels right now, this very instant.

So this girl is done. I'm sorry. But everyone need to find a b****c to realize how women act and think.

At least you learned it at a young age..i got it at 31...so late man...

What you have to do is to realise that women will stop searching for their perfect man only if the man they are with will satisfy their needs..

not only biological but dreams

They need to feel like they are in front of the men of their fantasies...

So now you go on with your life and concentrate your self on these 3 main areas

Appareance - Money - Social Status

along with that you have to work on your self to develop a character that attract women

Go on boy. channel the rage and fury into building your success.

She will have this guy now but probably it won last
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Old 28th September 2017, 4:49 PM   #56
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Still feel so much ****ing hate towards her for how she directly went to this guy.

So much ****ing hate and resentfullness inside me i have gotten so Cold towards everyone i know i dont care about anything Else than myself i am not how i was prior to when we broke up.

I Will never go through something like this again i propose myself that.

I want my ****ing life back.

I cannot find any calm i cannot focus in School i am a wreck still to be honest but everyday i get a little bit better. I cry sometimes still.

The image i have of her just being with this guy is ****ing horrirific.

I absolutely hate her from the bottom of my heart, never felt so betrayed by anyone in my entire life.

Its such a shame she went there otherwise i would have no problem being "friendöy in the future neither would my family.

Last edited by Wobugan; 28th September 2017 at 4:53 PM..
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Old 28th September 2017, 5:48 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by Wobugan View Post
Still feel so much ****ing hate towards her for how she directly went to this guy.

So much ****ing hate and resentfullness inside me i have gotten so Cold towards everyone i know i dont care about anything Else than myself i am not how i was prior to when we broke up.

I Will never go through something like this again i propose myself that.

I want my ****ing life back.

I cannot find any calm i cannot focus in School i am a wreck still to be honest but everyday i get a little bit better. I cry sometimes still.

The image i have of her just being with this guy is ****ing horrirific.

I absolutely hate her from the bottom of my heart, never felt so betrayed by anyone in my entire life.

Its such a shame she went there otherwise i would have no problem being "friendöy in the future neither would my family.
Does your school offer counseling sessions? I've been seeing a therapist provided at my university to help sort out my thoughts with the breakup using a third person who'd listen. It's been a HUGE help for me and helped me see what I can do for myself to heal. It's something to consider should it be available to you.
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Old 29th September 2017, 8:14 AM   #58
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Hey Wobugan,

I am in a weirdly very similar situation to yourself.

Same age, 5 year relationship, split up in may, All seemed well and then all of a sudden she ended it.

There is another person involved too but you can read it all on my thread if you are that interested.

Im now at 4 and a half months, and ive been on 2 dates with 1 girl who is my buddys GFs friend. That was too soon and i wasnt ready.

I have spoken with a couple of girls, mostly online but none that cam to any fruition, that is rather frustrating but i think im only talking to them to fill the void in my life rather than wanting anything from them.

The best thing i have done was to go NC completely. Yeah its hard and i feel unbelievably lonely at times and i struggle to concentrate too, but you must understand that this pain wont last forever, as much as it feels like it will. Keep bettering yourself, you said you have got into Uni, well done! go and meet some new friends and socialise to try and take your mind off things, i got myself a new job too but i dont start until Feb and i booked myself a 2 month holiday between now and then so i have things to look forward too.

Just ignore her and leave her be. She doesnt want a relationship with you and you must see that it is good that she done it now rather than getting evwen more invested in your life. It sucks but you dont want her back. EVER.

You are not alone in this, and you wont be the last person to go through something similar. It would be nice to keep each other updated on how things are going.
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Old 29th September 2017, 11:06 AM   #59
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Been there

Wobugan,
Been there. You're story sounds eerily just like mine.It has become obvious to me that this is fairly common. I feell for you. Sge had this process going on for awhile without telling you, so, I hope you can pick up the pieces and move on. You have my thoughts.
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Old 30th September 2017, 12:58 PM   #60
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How?

How can a woman move on so easily? Just boom gone?
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