Wisebutsodumb Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 My ex girlfriend had cheated on me and I Pushed for a few months to stay with her.(became needy,insecure,etc.)After that we went no contact. After 2 months I messaged her to meet up. I apologized to her for not letting her go and told her I learned from the past and whatever I mistake I made. She apologized once again for cheating. I had told her I missed her and we actually had a nice few hours together. I had asked to build a new relationship with her and she asked as friends and I said no. As like new acquaintances but that would never work. We have a past. She said in the moment I'm in now I just want to be friends. I had also asked her to not look at me or think of me as a depressing time in her life. Because our relationship was happy until the cheated. She can't get past it and is scared that she will hurt me again. She still hasn't gotten over the fact that she cheated on me. She still regrets it and avoids any thought of me. She doesn't like to look back at the time with me because she feels guilty and depressed about it because she ruined things. She is scared to have anyone's feelings on her shoulders ATM especially mine. She said she's scared. I can see she still needs to work on herself. She still has insecurity issues and doesn't entirely love herself. She doesn't think she has anything to give to a relationship. Listen I love this girl, and I know I need to stop wearing my heart on my shoulder/sleeve. I want to be with this girl. Please don't say forget about her move on she doesn't deserve you. So what can I do? I'm entering no contact again for myself and for her. I need more time and she definitely did. She is still experimenting. I know she's been talking to guys and has no feelings attached relationship with one. i don't want a relationship right now with her because i still think we need space still and she definitely needs to be time to herself, i just hate having no contact with her. She does reply to my texts when i have texted, but she also ignores them.(we barely text, i think it was 5-10 textsin 2 day the day before we met up and day after. After that back to space. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 What you want doesn't matter here. She cheated. Despite you begging to stay with her (a very bad decision on your part) she decided that it's a bad idea for you to be together. Part of it may be she's ashamed & understands she is no longer worthy of you. Part of it may be she likes the other guy or some new guy better. Either way she has opted out & it's not within your power to change her mind. So you have choices: work on getting over her or continue to wallow & be miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wisebutsodumb Posted August 2, 2017 Author Share Posted August 2, 2017 i haven't "begged" to be with her for... 4 months now. i have improved myself, and gone back to being happy for the most part. i miss her yes. do i still want to be with her yes. do i know i can live without her yes. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Whether she had cheated or not, she was finished with your relationship. And now you've debased yourself so that just makes it more awkward all around and less respect. You have to understand that women will mostly cheat (unless they have some big mental issue or addiction) when they no longer feel emotionally engaged with you. Her feeling is gone, so she will never feel romantic towards you and want to have sex with you again. Sorry, but that's the way it works with most women. I mean, yes, there could be one impulsive return like in so many breakups, when insecurity and fear and sentimentality make you go back at a weak moment, but that never lasts. It's just the last gasp. She's still texting you at all out of guilt and also because she probably will miss you on some level, but she's already said "friends" is the only possible option, and that isn't going to change and will only frustrate you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wisebutsodumb Posted August 2, 2017 Author Share Posted August 2, 2017 Whether she had cheated or not, she was finished with your relationship. And now you've debased yourself so that just makes it more awkward all around and less respect. You have to understand that women will mostly cheat (unless they have some big mental issue or addiction) when they no longer feel emotionally engaged with you. Her feeling is gone, so she will never feel romantic towards you and want to have sex with you again. Sorry, but that's the way it works with most women. I mean, yes, there could be one impulsive return like in so many breakups, when insecurity and fear and sentimentality make you go back at a weak moment, but that never lasts. It's just the last gasp. She's still texting you at all out of guilt and also because she probably will miss you on some level, but she's already said "friends" is the only possible option, and that isn't going to change and will only frustrate you. understood and i made myself look respectable i'm working on myself. i havent been sitting around moping. She is insecure , in herself. She wasn't finished. there are details missing. but ty for advice i shall do my best to move on. im not in contact 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 (edited) Dude I don't think anyone on here is gonna recommend going back to her because she has baggage. Are u actually hoping u get some sought validation on here that it's possible or the right thing to do so u can hang in there? I know what it's like I struggle sometimes too with this I think once it's broken it's gone and very difficult to fix. I remember my ex wife did exactly what prepath spoke of she came back after we'd been broken up for a handful of months and it was exactly the way she described one last gasp and then she went hot and cold and was gone at my expense and reset my healing back to square one. I've learnt when a woman breaks up it's for good there feelings are all gone something I think we men can't grasp because were not like this or built this way. I still can't understand how this works with there minds lol but anyway lol letting go is probably gonna be ur forced option by the looks of it I think the easiest way to understand her frame of mind is what's coming out her mouth the words she's using believe it Edited August 2, 2017 by Goodguy05 Link to post Share on other sites
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