Dmarls84 Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Hi all, I have written this letter to my ex, who broke it off after 6 years, about 2 weeks ago. It has been civil ever since, its a mutual feeling between us. I am moving out of our shared flat, but we haven't spoken in depth since the split conversation. I wrote this to sum up how I feel about the relationship (and how i feel about her) now that I have had some to to think. Please let me know if its worth leaving on the counter before i leave for good, or if I should just not bother. Thanks for reading. I hope your trip was great, and that you had lots of fun. I have written this letter to offer some closure on our relationship, for me and you. I wrote it to myself, but feel like it would be nice to share it with you also. It seems like we have been disconnected for a while and haven’t communicated our real feelings to each other, so I hope this letter offers some insight into that. The separation has given me some time and perspective to think about myself and the relationship. I want to start by apologising. I can see how badly I have treated you and that does not sit well with me. I could see it at the time, but I just felt so unsure of myself that I didn’t know how to go about changing it. That was not fair on you and I should have been more of a man and endeavoured to treat you right. God knows I am kicking myself in the head with regret for not doing that now. Over the past year and a bit, I have been mean to you, taken out my frustrations on you and most of all; I wasn’t there for you! I should have been more attentive to your needs, I should have made you feel like the beautiful woman that you are and I should have listened to you. For that I am truly sorry. I also wanted to tell you some things that I should have all along, if not shown you also. You are an amazing person, I knew it since the moment I laid eyes on you. You were different, you were free and I wanted in on that. I hope to see you like this again someday soon. You deserve to be free, and you deserve to be treated like the amazing person that you are every day. I hope you can find this, I hope you can wake up every day and feel like the most amazing person in the world, because you are certainly the most amazing person I have ever met! Ultimately, I never imagined it would get to this. When we first met (and the years that followed soon after) I was feeling like I never had before. I thought I had found the one and it felt ****ing good! It was you that made me feel that way, you empowered me, and you made me feel like the man I had always wanted to be. I will never forget that, thank you. Thank you for showing me what life could be like and thank you for sharing yours with me. I want you to be happy, I want to see that smile back on your face. I want you to know that I will be happy for you when that time comes (if it hasn’t already). My only regret is that I could not live up to be the man that could share that with you for the rest of our lives. I sincerely wish you all the best moving forward and I hope your life is full of as many rich and wonderful things that you can cram in there! I hope you meet someone who treats you the way you deserve! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 I didn't read the letter Writing these types of letters is good. They can be cathartic. They help you organize your thoughts & get them out of your head. Sending these letters is a TERRIBLE IDEA. Don't do it. Since you have written it, go ahead & print it out. In a safe controlled space, light it on fire. Watch the flames consume the paper. Watch the smoke drift up. Let go of your resentment, anger and/or sadness. Never ever show the letter to your EX. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dmarls84 Posted August 2, 2017 Author Share Posted August 2, 2017 Can I ask why it not a good idea to send the letter? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Because you don't really want closure. You want reconciliation. You are the dumpee. It's your subconscious way of begging to be taken back. It will only piss her off if she even reads it. It demeans you & will not accomplish the objective you seek. Nothing good will come out of this. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dmarls84 Posted August 2, 2017 Author Share Posted August 2, 2017 I think your right! Thank you for being honest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Listen to Donnivain.... As she said, its a good exercise at this point...but dont send it.. Do yourself a favor...Save it somewhere on your computer...Then you can look back on it in a year or so and amaze yourself that you actually didn't send it and can breathe a huge sigh of relief....then you can delete it altogether.. TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Bfef Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 I concur. The act of getting your thoughts down, first randomly then edited into something coherent is a great idea. But never send it. It will just give them some other reason to avoid you. Save the only copy on a USB memory stick and hide it at the back of a drawer. When you next see it months or years later you'll read it and think what on Earth was I thinking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Don't send it. If you ever talk with her about it in the future, you can simply tell her, "I know I wasn't very good to you, even though I wanted to be". You get closure by taking responsibility in a succinct statement and save the future cringe when you think of the letter you sent. When she checked out of the relationship her attitude sounds like she would be indifferent to you. Sending her the letter would not have the affect you want because likely she would not care, believe, or possibly even read past the first few sentences before she chucked it out. In person you can tell her naturally...I know it was me and I am sorry for that... without getting deep and detailed. I expect she would accept that more than a letter and might give you the reaction/closure you want by witnessing her reaction in person. Either way, telling her that in person would not be as cringe-worthy as the letter. If you don't get the chance to tell her, leave it be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 It's good that you wrote a closure letter. But, leave it here. Don't give it to her and try to heal and move on from this. It's going to take you a little while. Six years is a long time. So, you need to focus on your healing and not what she's doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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