melpa64 Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I've been seeing this lady for the past 8 months, she was an old client of mine, we spoke on the phone every night for 2-3 hours and texted every day. We finally met up face to face for the first time after 3 months as we live 2 hours away from each other. We ended up having sex the first night and spent the next day together before I had to return home. We continued this daily communication where she opened up about worrying I will hurt her and that she secretly cried several times due to the fact that I am 15 years younger and have to return to my home country (uk) soon, I am on a visa here in (Aus). I am in my 20's and she is in her 40's. She had a problem with the age gap which I understand. We met up for the second time last week after another 2 months of just texting and phone calls where I ended up spending an entire week at her place. During my stay she had this maternal instinct to look after me, did my washing, cook, buy me food and took me out. I was insisting that I contribute to everything but she always refused point blank. She mentioned she really wanted children so maybe that's where the maternal instinct came from. During the week at hers I hold my hands up that I started being a bit of a beta male. She talked to me like **** a lot of the time and I let her, she got so angry with me a few time she slept in a different room sometimes for little to no reason. I practically let her walk over me. I often managed to turn it around though and she couldn't help but smile. We had lots of sex and the majority of the time was good however I feel I started becoming too needy towards the end, touching her more etc. Despite all of this I was really falling for her without realising. On the fifth day I mentioned I had to leave soon and book my flights to go home, she got so angry she said I'm dropping you off at the train station today. I packed my things and I am so ashamed to admit this but started crying a little in the car. I have never cried in front any girls in my life but couldn't help it. It came from nowhere. She showed no emotion, she offered for me to stay one more night when she saw me upset but I told her to just drop me off. When we finally said goodbye again we hugged and she looked at me showing no emotion like I was nothing. It's been 4 days now and I am not going to contact her, I was really hoping she may have done by now but believe I may have really repelled her in some way or perhaps it was just sex for her. I really miss her. We spoke everyday for hours for 8 months and now its ended like it was nothing. I just wanted your guys thoughts as I'm not massively experienced in this and confused? I am going to be strong and not contact her either. I really appreciate anyone who replies as I know it's a long story, many thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Knix Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 It seems like there was some Freudian mother/son like feelings here since you mentioned she was mothering you. That might be why you started getting needy and crying. Anytime someone starts crying it stops being attractive. Maybe a tear or two after a while of being in love is one thing. But this prbly made her so uncomfortable. Just let it go. If she reaches out (possible) then apologize and move on. But I wouldn't reach out, if she wants to she will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melpa64 Posted June 29, 2017 Author Share Posted June 29, 2017 It seems like there was some Freudian mother/son like feelings here since you mentioned she was mothering you. That might be why you started getting needy and crying. Anytime someone starts crying it stops being attractive. Maybe a tear or two after a while of being in love is one thing. But this prbly made her so uncomfortable. Just let it go. If she reaches out (possible) then apologize and move on. But I wouldn't reach out, if she wants to she will. Really appreciate the response Knix. I hear crying is incredibly unattractive so was very embarrassed when it happened. I was totally fine beforehand, no buildup. I really hope she contacts me, makes me sick to the stomach of knowing she might be dating in the near future.. thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
Knix Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I'm sorry It sounds like she was very cold when she dropped you off, I think you should just focus on moving on, not whether or not she's seeing someone else. It sounds like you two are in very different places since she is significantly older. Move on Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 It appears she feels different about u guys to how u feel. U didn't do anything wrong by crying. Just see it as that she feels different about it. She may also be cold because it's her way of not getting attached and hurt because she knows ur going back home. Either way the best advice is NC for a variety of reasons to allow her to reflect and then let her reach out to u if she does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melpa64 Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 It's been four days and she emailed me last night asking if I got home okay .. I waited about 12 hours to reply and kept it short with no questions attached, was this a good approach? I just said the trip went well thanks and that was about it. Thanks again for your kind responses. Link to post Share on other sites
mike.c Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 It's been four days and she emailed me last night asking if I got home okay .. I waited about 12 hours to reply and kept it short with no questions attached, was this a good approach? I just said the trip went well thanks and that was about it. Thanks again for your kind responses. That definitely seems like the way to handle something like that. It seems like things are truly over, so keep it short and unemotional. Damn, I wish I could take my own advice... Link to post Share on other sites
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