thatonedude101 Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 So my ex and I have been dating for 3 years. We once shared an apartment together. We've been broken up for a little while now. She's currently been dating a guy for 3 months or so and he's moved into our old apartment (I moved out once I found out she's dating this guy). She is still in semi-constant contact with me. She'll call me every few days or so asking how am I and if I want to hang out. She's even insisted that her, her boyfriend and I hangout more. The last time we hungout we went to our old apartment and there were still old photos of us still hung on the walls and in her bedroom. She also checked my phone and saw some very old photos on my google photos app of us which she forwarded to her phone. She even insists that I move back in with her. My main question is why would she be acting this way. Is she just using me for an ego boost or to soothe her when her boyfriend and her get in a fight? And if so what should be my next move? Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 She wants you to move in with her and the new bf? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatonedude101 Posted June 18, 2017 Author Share Posted June 18, 2017 She wants you to move in with her and the new bf? Yeah, she's asked me multiple times to move back in. Every time she asks me if I want to move in she lowers the amount of rent I'll pay if I do move in. Also, if her boyfriend isn't there she asks me to stay in my old room for the night (our old apartment is a 2 bedroom apartment) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Forget about what she wants and why she may want it. What do YOU want? Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Weird dude a very strange request. What was the break up over? Sounds like she wants her cake and to eat it to scenario. Question is wat do u want? Ur gonna be in a world of pain and that bf's around and imagine u live there when he stays over oh boy that is gonna hurt she's crazy Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 It would be easy to assume she wants you back or she wants sex or she wants both of you, but it may be more about practicalities or more mundane things.. How old are you? Where are you now staying? Are you settled or are you couch surfing? Does she just feel guilty that you had to leave or feels sorry for you and thinks you are lonely, or does she just need help with the rent? Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Your on the back burner. As soon as things don't go right with the new guy she will look towards you. She keeps in contact with you to keep you hooked and to keep tabs on you. And you let her do it. You gotta go NO CONTACT. Unless you like being s second option or on stand by. Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Well, I've got to give it to her, at least she's upfront about what she wants, ridiculous but upfront. She may need help with the rent and baiting you with affection to get that help. Does her BF know she's 1. asking you to move back in? and 2. offering benefits if you do? Do you think she may be pursuing a poly relationship between the three of you? Also, have you dated and if so how would she feel about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Good god why are you hanging around this? Are you that passive? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatonedude101 Posted June 18, 2017 Author Share Posted June 18, 2017 Well, I've got to give it to her, at least she's upfront about what she wants, ridiculous but upfront. She may need help with the rent and baiting you with affection to get that help. Does her BF know she's 1. asking you to move back in? and 2. offering benefits if you do? Do you think she may be pursuing a poly relationship between the three of you? Also, have you dated and if so how would she feel about it? Yeah, it seems like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Yes, her boyfriend does know that she's asked me multiple time to move back in. Lastly, no she isn't looking for a polyamorous relationship between the both of us. I have gone on a few dates and she's pretty supportive but will ask me a ton of questions about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Yeah, it seems like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Yes, her boyfriend does know that she's asked me multiple time to move back in. Lastly, no she isn't looking for a polyamorous relationship between the both of us. I have gone on a few dates and she's pretty supportive but will ask me a ton of questions about them. Your thread provides little to no information so posters are just posting whatever. Please explain the relationship prior to the break-up and the reason for the break-up. Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 You said you moved out when she and the other guy started dating. Was there an overlap, meaning did she cheat on you? Also, you let her go through your phone?? Dude... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 The eff? I've read a lot of strange things on LS but this is a new one. OP, do you really not see how messed-up this whole situation is? Link to post Share on other sites
doglover98 Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Seems like a strange situation. I honestly think she's using you. I think that you should make it clear to her what you want. Are you 100% okay with just being friends? Or do you want something more? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatonedude101 Posted June 25, 2017 Author Share Posted June 25, 2017 So my girlfriend and I are in are mid 20's and dated for 5 years we had an apartment together. Well, fast forward until April she got second job and met somebody at her new job. She kept him secret until May when she finally ended it with me and started dating him. From that point on I moved out of our apartment and tried to move on from this whole mess. Well, from May until now she keeps on contacting me and asking me to hangout or come over to our old apartment where she would cook dinner. She even goes on to ask how I'm doing, what I'm doing, and who I'm with (If I say I'm with a friend she asks who and if it's a girl she gets angry and goes quiet). We also attend the same college and she even tries to coordinate classes with me (we're both pre-med) Some additional details: My ex girlfriend and her boyfriends relationship is very rocky according to her sister who I'm still close to. In their short term relationship she's attempted to break up with him several times. Each time this happens I end up getting a late phone call or text and if I don't answer she'll call me the next day to hangout. She calls me on a blocked number which makes it hard to tell who's calling. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 So my girlfriend and I are in are mid 20's and dated for 5 years we had an apartment together. Well, fast forward until April she got second job and met somebody at her new job. She kept him secret until May when she finally ended it with me and started dating him. From that point on I moved out of our apartment and tried to move on from this whole mess. Well, from May until now she keeps on contacting me and asking me to hangout or come over to our old apartment where she would cook dinner. She even goes on to ask how I'm doing, what I'm doing, and who I'm with (If I say I'm with a friend she asks who and if it's a girl she gets angry and goes quiet). We also attend the same college and she even tries to coordinate classes with me (we're both pre-med) It's none of her business. She dumped you for another guy now she's trying to cheat on him with you. She has no class. Some additional details: My ex girlfriend and her boyfriends relationship is very rocky according to her sister who I'm still close to. So what? Why are you dong the needy, clingy hanging around? In their short term relationship she's attempted to break up with him several times. Each time this happens I end up getting a late phone call or text and if I don't answer she'll call me the next day to hangout. Why do you keep licking up her breadcrumbs? She calls me on a blocked number which makes it hard to tell who's calling. Don't answer the calls. Let it go to voicemail Do you value yourself so little to allow her to posy you and string you along as her plan B backup? Hard NC and block her on everything. You are way to young to be that codependent on a cheater who dumped you. Cmon man you know better than this. Have some self respect 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hurtingguy Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 Dude I'm sorry but cmon..are you for real? How can you even question what to do...get away from her cut her off she doesn't give a **** about you..and the fact that your thinking about moving in with them show how little respect you have for yourself...smh your young move on find someone that will eventually care for you the way you deserve it. Be single for a while have fun enjoy your life don't waste your 20s chasing a girl like this. This should be a no brainier for you Link to post Share on other sites
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