moving on because you have to

[hew]

What is some of the best advice for moving on? Especially moving on when you're basically forced to because the other person doesn't see a future with you.

 

 

Having a hard time coping lately

[Jmeti000]

Time and keeping busy. Spend time with friends, stay physically active, I like to mix in a good coloring book and a drink at night with the tv for background noise when friends aren't available and I'm just sitting at home. I also forget to eat sometimes (#sadness diet ) so dont forget that either.

[Tinalilly75]

I am going through the same thing OP it's so hard

 

((Hugs))

[Goodguy05]

Keeping busy and fit but also this is kinda contradictory advice you wanna keep busy but you don't wanna run away from wat ur feeling either feel the emotions and let ur mind and body process the pain. Imordant to grieve. One way or another u will grieve wether it's now or later down the track if u postponed it there's no way around it only thru it

[d0nnivain]

Keeping busy & surrounding yourself with positive people is classic. NC or at least LC is helpful so you are not pining for what you can't have. Some other things that helped me:

 

 

1. Compartmentalizing. Toss all the mementos. If you can't throw them out put them in a box, tape the box shut & bury it deep in the attic or the back of your closet not to be opened for at least a year. Photos go in here too. If you can't delete them, but them on a thumb drive & put the drive in the box too.

 

 

2. Rearrange your living space. If you can "see" your EX sitting in their favorite spot at your place, move the furniture so it's different & the visual memory triggers aren't as intense.

 

 

3. Change something about yourself: get a hair cut, dye your hair, join a gym, try a new clothes style.

 

 

4. Reinvest in a hobby or take up a new one.

 

 

5. Shake up your routine. Take a new way to work; get your morning coffee somewhere else.

 

 

6. Make lists, especially ones about why you are better off apart & things that you want to do with all the time you have on your hands

 

 

7. Make sure you have stuff to do -- spend time with old friends, see your family, go places, have a plan so you are not sitting home moping & feeling sorry for yourself

 

 

8. Remember healing takes time & it's not linear. It's OK to grieve but not to wallow.

[preraph]

^ This. Follow it like a handbook. even if you don't feel up to it.

[Real36]

donnivain, that is the best break up advice I have heard. I went NC immediately and put away or threw as much as I could that reminds me of him. I always change the look of the environment too. It just helps to prevent unnecessary trauma.