taz872 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Right its a bit long winded so bear with me but me an my ex split in feb. Just totally out of the blue. When her little girl started school she just had less an less time for me. We were engaged an buying a house together. She just said she couldnt do it anymore. She took.the ring off 3 days later and that was it. A week later we went out for a drink to chat an she said we could try again. We started dating. Dinner. Drinks what new couples do. About 6 weeks after thatshe become distant again an i asked what was up an she said its not working is it. I said well your not exactly trying are you and she said shes just scared of it failing an not ever working. So i left her alone. Cut all contact. After a few weeks i heard something on the radio an it reminded me of when i took her away for her bday. I messaged her saying what i had heard an i was glad we had amazing memories together an thanked her. A few hours passed an she messaged me back saying she had been to work an sorry it took so long to reply. I read it an didnt reply. About 20 mins after that she called me. I told her i was busy an would call her back in half an hour. I did but she getting her little girl from school. So i said ok speak to you soon. Half an hour later she called me again we talked for an hour and a half about everything and anything. Laughing an joking. From that day we have spoke everyday since. It got to a point where she messaged me about 50 times in one day. Then a she asked me to go out twice. Once to go shopping and i said i was busy the another time for lunch which i said ok. So in that day i picked her up an we had lunch. She flirted with me like crazy. Talking about underwear. Sex and allsorts. We even went for a walk which we hardly ever did.. we even cuddled an kissed. While we were out an when i dropped her off. After that day i heard off her less. I asked her why an she said she doesnt know what she wants an then said we cant talk anymore cus all she could offer me was a friend. I then said i have never asked her or mentioned to her that we would be more than friends. We still talk everyday not but not as much. Then the wierd thing happened. She admitted that 6 days later that she had drove passed my house looking to see if i was there an then when i wasnt drove passed my mom an dads. Neither of them are on her way home or even a cut through to get home. . Next thing is even though im not on fb one of my friends is friends with her on there an even now 3 months on she still has that she is engaged and since the date we got engaged. If anyone can make sense of this please help lol. Im driving myself a tad insane lol thanks for your time Link to post Share on other sites
Author taz872 Posted June 2, 2017 Author Share Posted June 2, 2017 Or am i missing something and cant see the wood for the trees. Had anyone got an opinion please Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted June 2, 2017 Share Posted June 2, 2017 (edited) Firstly I don't blame u dude for being a tad bit confused it's because she's giving u mixed signals makes sense right? It's that simple she doesn't know what she wants and that's how she's creating her reality wth u wat she thinks she produces. If I was u so it doesn't drive u mad cut her completly off and don't make it so easy for her to com back to u that'll nip that hot n cold response real quick. I'm my case my ex wife aftrr 10 yrs together did the same thing I took her back she went cold and left again. Who knows the outcome the fact she's feeling like this and doin this u have to ask ureself I deserve better u know what I mean. Keep that as ur mantra to let go. Selling ureself to her and changing won't work u shldnt have to and shldnt have to try so hard to be in a relationship dude its not worth it...let her walk and go NC and don't take her back...that'll completly slap her in the face and her ego watch th3 turn around because being rejected has that affect on people she will be the one begging and trying to work out how to get u back...mark my words Edited June 2, 2017 by Goodguy05 Link to post Share on other sites
live2ndin Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 OP, I appreciate you reaching out to others and explaining your situation. We often have trouble figuring out all the complexities of our relationships, especially when we have trouble in a relationship of when one ends and we didn't expect it to. One of the most important things is for you to be healthy, both mentally and physically. Please make sure you take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up over the details. I am sure that you will learn a lot from this experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 She's one of those who is going to always be hot and cold. At first she will be all into you. Then she won't. Then when she hasn't talked to you for s bit she will all the sudden want you again. Then when she has you she doesn't want you. You see how confusing that is to even read? You are going to buy a house together. That's a big decision. And then all of the sudden she breaks up with you? There is more to this story trust me on that. Its probaley sitting right in front of you but your so in love your not seeing it. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 Only thing I can maybe see is that you don't seem very in tune to her schedule to do with her kid. Like you're out there operating like she doesn't have obligations and maybe that means you haven't gotten involved or not, I don't know. But you don't seem to consider her schedule she is locked into. Otherwise, it's confusing because you were kissing and everything and she said she can only offer being friends but then you said that is what you were doing. Friends don't kiss. So that's not what you were doing. I'm not saying you SHOULD do it when you don't want to. It's just an observation that the confusion is coming from both sides. I think she maybe just be too harried to feel she can have a relationship with someone who is remaining separate and not participating in her obligations with her kids, but I don't know that. Maybe she wants it that way. Just a thought though. I'm sure you now her kid will always come first. That's normal. Maybe just ask her why she is sort of in and sort of out and what is keeping her feeling she should get out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author taz872 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Share Posted June 5, 2017 Thank you for you comments an trust me i treat her little girl the same as i treat my own. I do everything for both of them. I always organised everything around them an when they where free. So it doesnt make any sense and also the spying on me thing. Thanks for your advice though Link to post Share on other sites
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