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Broke up because of Less Time


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demitrius009

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than 5 years. In the last three months we hardly been able to spend that much time together mostly due to our work schedules, family responsibilities, etc. At the beginning of our relationship, I was the one who would initiate to spend time, but after awhile I was getting frustrated and asked if she can initiate for my own reassurances. And she did comply, but in between the last 5 years, she would regress back to her old ways causing issues between us. In her view, she desires to feel wanted then rather us express wanting each other in a mutual manner.

 

 

Anyway, at the beginning of this year she did not initiate, so I kind of scaled back as well. But again, I began to complain telling her I do not want our relationship to be just confined to text messages and phone calls. In addition, I told her I want intimacy. So recently we made plans to spend the night out of town. Then suddenly she tells me her daughter is becoming rebellious, and she decided to cancel because she needs to watch her. Keep in mind, her daughter is 13 years old and is just getting lippy, not running away from the house or doing drugs or her school grades are slipping.

 

 

Now I understand the situation but she is with her daughter 7 days a week, but cannot allocate one day for me. So I said this is not how a relationship works because even though I have had issues with my own daughter, I still find a way to balance time with my girlfriend. Therefore, I broke up with her because I feel there has to be balance and sacrifice in a relationship, not just spend time for our convenience.

 

 

So I have one question for everyone. Did I do the right thing?

 

 

And I have three questions for the ladies? If your boyfriend wants intimacy and quality time, then wouldn't you be happy that your boyfriend wants that because after awhile men tend to get bored in a relationship. Also, if your boyfriend is already complaining about not spending enough time, would you still cancel on him if your daughter was acting up? Or do you think my girlfriend is just trying to put me in my place?

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You admit that you initiated more then she did. That may simply be her & how she operates. When you asked she initiated more. When that faded, instead of picking up the slack you pulled back to punish her or teach her a lesson. Conscious or not you were doing a tit for tat thing & it back fired on you. Although you wanted more contact you got less.

 

 

If a parent is telling you that a 13 year old child is at a critical stage & needs more supervision you can't very well blame the parent for abdicating those responsibilities in favor of a romantic weekend. Your GF has her priorities in order -- her child's safety & well being come first.

 

 

Most people think a good relationship is one where both parties give 50/50. It's not. At 50/50 the people are connected at one spot -- the farthest reaches of their connection. Both have to give 100% because then there is total overlap & if one slips they are still more connected than not.

 

 

You have already ended this after 5 years. Don't second guess yourself. You felt your needs were not being met. Perhaps this relationship ran its course.

 

 

Make peace with your decision. Heal & move on.

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