North Shore Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Why do exes - that you don't hear from in forever - all of a sudden start calling but not leaving messages? Is he stubborn? scared? fishing for a response? just messing with me? lonely? bored? what? what? what? If he was looking for a way to get into my head he sure accomplished it. B*stard. I AM NOT calling him back. N. O. NO. Link to post Share on other sites
SadAndLonely Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Good for you. DON'T call him back. I think men (mine included) are just asses sometimes. The happier I am with my own life, however, the less of an impact they have on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Bunnylove Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Sounds like he misses you! Why not just ask him whats up! Maybe he isnt as happy as he thought he would be without you!? Why did you brake up? how long ago? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Originally posted by North Shore Why do exes - that you don't hear from in forever - all of a sudden start calling but not leaving messages? could be any of a 100 different reasons. but if he's not leaving a msg then it is not that impt. Link to post Share on other sites
jp13370 Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 All I can say is Caller ID was the best thing invented - when my ex calls and doesn't leave a message I just look at the caller id and think "you chickensh*t". He isn't smart enough to realize I might have added caller ID to my phone and everytime he calls to listen to my answering machine - I know about it. Don't call him back - it ain't worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Originally posted by jp13370 All I can say is Caller ID was the best thing invented - the only people that do not have caller id anymore are living in the australian outback and it can be bypassed very easily by punching in a code before u make the call and it won't show up on your display. Link to post Share on other sites
Bunnylove Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Maybe he is cheacking your messages? If he calls and you dont answer...he can go to hear your voice mails if he knows the code! Well thats the way it works on some phones! Why not just answer next time he rings and find out what all this is about!? If you are happy that the reltionship ended then you will cope fine. Maybe he isnt so happy...if he can't talk to you anymore than you should let him know! Sounds like he just misses hearing your voice to me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author North Shore Posted May 7, 2005 Author Share Posted May 7, 2005 Well, he's called 3 times in the last week. Once last Saturday and twice last night. If it's not important than why call back at all if you don't want to leave a message. It's just stupid. He probably just hit the wrong entry in his phone book. Whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
debs Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Oh put the man out of his misery! My exH of a year calls my phone about hmmm once a week? I used to have my voice message. It dawned on me he never left messages or anything because he just wanted to hear my voice. I changed it to the number only and now he can't hear my voice! I have had no calls since! So problem solved! Link to post Share on other sites
jp13370 Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Well anyone can use *67 to block their caller ID - my ex is too stupid to know that and I already changed my answering machine code - no way he can access my messages (he can't even operate his own phone/answering machine at home - much less mine). They call because they miss us and want to hear our voices - why else would my ex call my home phone in the middle of the day while I'm at work. It's stupid they do this but who cares - eventually they'll stop and go on with their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Bunnylove Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 That poor boy! I'm wondering why you guys broke up? Don't you at least still care about him? If i felt that I missed my ex's voice I would call him....OF COURSE I wouldnt leave a message...what would I say..."um...hi..." but maybe we are in a different place than you. He always appreciated me calling as was always nice to me and if I needed to talk, he would talk with me. Just because the relationship didnt work...doesnt mean you stop caring about that person! Maybe it sounds stupid to you but this guy obviously has SOMETHIN intimate he wants to say to YOU...NOT your machine...why not just pick up and listen to him and nicley tell him that you need to move on now without him and would appreciate that he give you some space and not call you!!? Link to post Share on other sites
Author North Shore Posted May 7, 2005 Author Share Posted May 7, 2005 I do still care about him. That's part of the problem. I always felt more for him than he did for me. We've been broken up for almost a year now. I broke up with him because he just wasn't that into me and I needed to walk away and stop being hurt. We've talked here and there over the past year, but he often doesn't return my calls etc. In fact, I stopped calling him all together in Feb because he wasn't returning my calls. And the one time we actually made plans around Christmas, he BLEW ME OFF. So I figure that things haven't changed with him much so I don't bother doing his "being friends" thing. That was his bright idea. Now that a few months have passed w/out hearing from me he just shows up. Like I said, it's been almost a year. I haven't been with anyone since him. I've dated, but they're never him, so it never goes anywhere. But I certainly don't want him floating around making it even harder for me to get over him. I'm not as trusting with him as I used to be. I know that I'm jaded. I see it as him just needing something to do or someone to make him feel special. He doesn't actually want to talk to me or see me. He just wants to know I'm still there. I would love to give him the benefit of the doubt; love to think that he misses me. But he's burned me too many times. I love him, but he's made me too afraid of being hurt by him to trust him. I can only feel like he's messing with my head - intentional or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author North Shore Posted May 8, 2005 Author Share Posted May 8, 2005 Yeah so, I get home late last night - with a bit of a buzz - and can't resist the urge to call him. I ended up hanging up before his voice mail kicked in. So now I've done exactly what he did - called and didn't leave a message. Yes, he has caller id too. I am such a freakin' donkey I can't stand it. What is wrong with me? It's so easy for him to get inside my head. Nobody else has ever been able to do that. A year later he can make me crazy. I've got to pull my sh*t together. Link to post Share on other sites
jp13370 Posted May 8, 2005 Share Posted May 8, 2005 North Shore - you haven't done anything that all the rest of us haven't done. Drunk phone calls, etc..... we've all done that at one time or another. Don't be so hard on yourself - you've still got feelings and it just takes time to get over someone and move on. You need to keep yourself preoccupied and busy now so you won't think about him so much. Just chalk it up to "Oops, I did it again" and move on. You're human - you miss the guy and still have feelings. Doesn't make you a bad person or a stalker - you're just hurt. Don't try to contact him again - give it time - he'll call you when you least expect it or maybe by then you'll be over him and with someone else. Don't beat yourself up - love makes do foolish things at one time or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Bunnylove Posted May 8, 2005 Share Posted May 8, 2005 I'm so sorry this is happeening to you North Shore but I think you are being a very strong women. It's so hard NOT to call...I'm going through a breakup myself and its been 3 days since we havent talked. We broke up about a month ago and have talked for hours everyday for over a year 1/2. I'm also struggling with my feelings. But you and me both know that these men were not right for us and you have to remember that! Saying that it is POSSIBLE he has changed after a year and if he still interested after THAT long than maybe there is something still there for him too!!! But if he is still acting the same as usual and blowing you off, then maybe he HASNT changed after all!!! I would trust your gut on this one! If my ex called right now and asked me back my heart would want to say YES but I was also hurt badly in the relationship and I couldnt get over the way he hurt me! This stops me calling him as the minute I do I would just grovel for him to take me back even though that would be a bad decision, OR we would end up fighting! I think in both our cases these men were just not right and not good enough for us. You seem to have enough self respect to make sure you keep yourself from him. Don't worry about that last call but dont do it again! But thinking about it, he seems like he just wants to know that your still there for him if he needs you, also sounds like he is deliberately manipulating you! Maybe it best you DO have a wee talk though and make it clear that you WANT to be left alone! If he doesnt answer just tell his answering machine!!! After a year of this...its DEF time to sort this out...you might not ever move on if you don't! Best wishes to ya though! Keep strong....your doing so well!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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