Breaking up all the time. No respect UPDATE: It's Officially over.

[nancy1989]

Hello, I was dating a guy for about half a year. I love him very much so does he. However, not one day goes by without us fighting and breaking up.

After each break up I am the one usually who reaches out to make things right again. He is always eager to accept my apologies even though most of the time its not even my fault. He also disrespects me a lot, calls me a whore just because I used to have bf's before him. I know its not normal relationship and I always want to end it. However somehow I always reach out to him because I do love him. I know that if I will not reach out to him, he will. It will just take more time.

I want to know how to stop myself from contacting him? If anyone is or was in the same situation where fights are happening ALL THE TIME, please please let me know how it turns out in the long run or how to freaking end this thing. I am mentally exhausted.

[avvril3000]

um, i wouldn't stay with anyone who calls me a whore. Period. That guy is disrespectful and hurtful and why would you wanna stay with someone who can say those words to you?

[nancy1989]

Thank you for your reply. That's exactly what everyone says... No contact is just very hard on me right now. Hopefully it will get better

[Goodguy05]

Hello, I was dating a guy for about half a year. I love him very much so does he. However, not one day goes by without us fighting and breaking up.

After each break up I am the one usually who reaches out to make things right again. He is always eager to accept my apologies even though most of the time its not even my fault. He also disrespects me a lot, calls me a whore just because I used to have bf's before him. I know its not normal relationship and I always want to end it. However somehow I always reach out to him because I do love him. I know that if I will not reach out to him, he will. It will just take more time.

I want to know how to stop myself from contacting him? If anyone is or was in the same situation where fights are happening ALL THE TIME, please please let me know how it turns out in the long run or how to freaking end this thing. I am mentally exhausted.

 

I can tell you how it ends, eventually you will reach breaking point and never reach out to him again and break it off. He on the other hand will chase etc and wonder why it ended lol. It's never healthy fighting that much. What generally happens in the 1st couple of yrs of a relationship is there is a power struggle happening. This is unresolved baggage past hurts etc etc it's like if yours or his needs aren't being met and your not getting thru to each other abouthan hoe you feel a power play ensues. You'll break up silent treatment call each other nameso etc. That's the power struggle happening. If you can get past this you have a great chance of making it work. Most couples have this and the ones that don't fight well the truth is love is missing in those ones. It's how well you can both negotiate and compromise and ur needs etc. It seems so easy doesn't it but it's not.? What r your fights centred around? Jealousy he looked some chick etc?

[MountainGirl111]

Calling you a whore is verbal abuse plain and simple. Do you want to be in an abusive relationship? Do you want to be abused. I don't think so. So if you are tempted to contact him tell yourself "I don't want to be subjected to more abuse."

 

Also, verbal abuse can escalate into physical abuse. And, abuse tends to progressively become worse. It progresses. Think about these things before you make a move to contact him.

 

And breaking up every time? That's crazy-making type stuff right there. Get out and stay out. Run.

[spiderowl]

It is an unhealthy relationship where he is getting away with disrespecting you. He is getting away with it because you have a compulsion to contact him and make up with him even when it is not your fault. Why? How is he ever going to learn to respect you if he knows for sure you will reach out to him? He will not. What goes on in your head at the times when you are desperate to reach out to him? Why don't you stop yourself?

 

There is only one way this is going to get any better - do not reach out to him when it is his fault. Do not allow him to disrespect you. Once he gets the message that you will walk and not come back until he behaves properly, things should start to improve. If they don't, well you know that you either wean yourself off him for good or continue in this abusive relationship.

[Techmonkey]

In my last relationship I was packing my bags to go on a regular basis. I always counted on her to say "No. Stay!". And she did. Ninety nine times. When she finally said "Just go." the bottom fell out from my world and I deserved it. It's manipulation and an abusive relationship. If you allow him to keep coming back, the cycle will just continue. Healthy relationships don't have that ****ty dynamic.

[whatnot]

if this is happening in just 6 months, goodness gracious.

[EmilyJane]

I can tell you how it ends, eventually you will reach breaking point and never reach out to him again and break it off. He on the other hand will chase etc and wonder why it ended lol. It's never healthy fighting that much. What generally happens in the 1st couple of yrs of a relationship is there is a power struggle happening. This is unresolved baggage past hurts etc etc it's like if yours or his needs aren't being met and your not getting thru to each other abouthan hoe you feel a power play ensues. You'll break up silent treatment call each other nameso etc. That's the power struggle happening. If you can get past this you have a great chance of making it work. Most couples have this and the ones that don't fight well the truth is love is missing in those ones. It's how well you can both negotiate and compromise and ur needs etc. It seems so easy doesn't it but it's not.? What r your fights centred around? Jealousy he looked some chick etc?

 

Omg that makes a lot of sense. Is this really a common thing?

 

How did I not twig that guys see early stuff as a power struggle. It's so obvious now, guys often think about things like that that it doesn't occur to women to, like all that alpha beta rubbish on here.

 

Where do I read more about it?

 

I want to save this somehow.

[Goodguy05]

Omg that makes a lot of sense. Is this really a common thing?

 

How did I not twig that guys see early stuff as a power struggle. It's so obvious now, guys often think about things like that that it doesn't occur to women to, like all that alpha beta rubbish on here.

 

Where do I read more about it?

 

I want to save this somehow.

 

Hi Emily

 

1st of all thank you im honoured you got something good out of this coming from my end I owe you a few lol.

 

It became evident after the last relationship didn't work I was looking for patterns in my relationships. It was an article i read online which I can't remember where I found it but it spoke of the different stages of love in a relationship and this power play.

 

Having said that men are from Mars woman are from Venus touches on this alot. What the author states in that book is that men count differently to woman to keep the power even. This is so true when I think about it.

 

It goes on to say men will do a 100 things wrong to upset you that equals let's say a point. Men on the other hand count differently. So a woman does something wrong or doesn't but upsets him that's immediately 1 point lol. This is why when woman leave, men are shocked confused and shattered they dont know what hit them, because they have basically dealt with the power issue more directly and affectively because they dealt with the issue straight away hence no resentment builds up where as a woman lets it slide and slide till eventually they get fed up and leave from too much resentment and pain. It's not that black and white but if you think about some of your past relationships you will notice this especially with men.

 

To summarize men don't sweep it under the rug they may not vocalise there pain points or frustration properly in relation to the issue, but rather will pay you back some other way to even the score if that makes sense.

Edited April 22, 2017 by Goodguy05

[Goodguy05]

I should add it's never this cut and dry. Woman will say it over and over what the problem is you know what we men do? It's silly but we think they're just having a winge. We think like this because they are there still with us so if course nothing is wrong. I think the challenge for us men in a relationship is to really pay attention and actively listen.

 

Still, I think this power struggle still takes place in most cases especially if you feel very strongly about each other and it's love. The emotions are all heightened it's how we deal with conflict as a couple through this phase determines wether the relationship will go the distance.

 

Some examples, your partner makes some comment on fb that gets to you or likes some hot girl In a bikini or something along those lines. You get hurt or jealous or whatever it may be and bang a fight lol. And vice versa. I think when the relationship matures as long as you two are still growing and learning from the relationship and dealt with the underlying issues like resentment the trust and foundation have kind of then been set and you can kind of go on autopilot from time to time it becomes alot less of an issue

[EmilyJane]

Hi Emily

 

1st of all thank you im honoured you got something good out of this coming from my end I owe you a few lol.

 

It became evident after the last relationship didn't work I was looking for patterns in my relationships. It was an article i read online which I can't remember where I found it but it spoke of the different stages of love in a relationship and this power play.

 

Having said that men are from Mars woman are from Venus touches on this alot. What the author states in that book is that men count differently to woman to keep the power even. This is so true when I think about it.

 

It goes on to say men will do a 100 things wrong to upset you that equals let's say a point. Men on the other hand count differently. So a woman does something wrong or doesn't but upsets him that's immediately 1 point lol. This is why when woman leave, men are shocked confused and shattered they dont know what hit them, because they have basically dealt with the power issue more directly and affectively because they dealt with the issue straight away hence no resentment builds up where as a woman lets it slide and slide till eventually they get fed up and leave from too much resentment and pain. It's not that black and white but if you think about some of your past relationships you will notice this especially with men.

 

To summarize men don't sweep it under the rug they may not vocalise there pain points or frustration properly in relation to the issue, but rather will pay you back some other way to even the score if that makes sense.

 

It was different in my relationship. I'm the one that tries to deal with things head on. He was so confrontation avoidant he would get so worked up at a potential for conflict with me he'd explode out of no where because of how I might have reacted. He got better at it, recognised that that is what he was doing and that when he just talked to me about problems I was pretty easy going and would work with him to fix stuff.

 

But you're dead on about the resentment and hurt building up to the point where I gave up and left.

 

I didn't at all understand about the points and power though, could you explain agsin?

[Goodguy05]

It was different in my relationship. I'm the one that tries to deal with things head on. He was so confrontation avoidant he would get so worked up at a potential for conflict with me he'd explode out of no where because of how I might have reacted. He got better at it, recognised that that is what he was doing and that when he just talked to me about problems I was pretty easy going and would work with him to fix stuff.

 

But you're dead on about the resentment and hurt building up to the point where I gave up and left.

 

I didn't at all understand about the points and power though, could you explain agsin?

 

The points I mean how men and woman count as in say you do something for him make him dinner or something like that you could do that quiet a lot before you start to feel it's getting a bit out of balance you know like cooking and cleaning etc. Whereas men on the other hand if they do somthing for you like buy you a present or something along those lines, the expectation will be that you return the favour before they reciprocate again. Lol strange isnt it. Ye us men when we get confronted about something or an issue we tend to pull back because half the time we need some time to mull it over in our mind to figure out what's going on or how we feel.

Edited April 22, 2017 by Goodguy05

[EmilyJane]

The points I mean how men and woman count as in say you do something for him make him dinner or something like that you could do that quiet a lot before you start to feel it's getting a bit out of balance you know like cooking and cleaning etc. Whereas men on the other hand if they do somthing for you like buy you a present or something along those lines, the expectation will be that you return the favour before they reciprocate again. Lol strange isnt it. Ye us men when we get confronted about something or an issue we tend to pull back because half the time we need some time to mull it over in our mind to figure out what's going on or how we feel.

 

Ohh that makes so much sense - where were you eight months ago.n

 

We should get back on topic, sorry op

[Downtown]

I know its not normal relationship and I always want to end it.

Nancy, the behaviors you describe -- i.e., his irrational anger, controlling behavior, easily triggered temper tantrums, lack of impulse control, always being "The Victim," and rapid flips between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (devaluing you) -- are classic warning signs for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Importantly, I'm not suggesting your BF has full-blown BPD but, rather, that he may exhibit moderate to strong traits of it.

 

Breaking up all the time.... We break up every week.

BPDer relationships are notorious for having multiple breakups. A BPDfamily survey of about 460 such relationships found that nearly a fourth of them (23%) -- like your relationship -- went through 10 or more complete breakup/makeup cycles BEFORE finally ending for good. About 40% of the BPDer relationships experienced at least six breakup/makeup cycles before ending. And 73% had three or more breakup/makeup cycles before finally ending. See "Results" at BPDfamily Breakup/Makeup Poll.

 

The abused partners of BPDers usually try to leave many times before walking away permanently. The primary reason leaving is so difficult is that BPDers exhibit an emotional intensity, immaturity, and purity of expression that otherwise is seen only in young children. This means that, like young children, they are very easy to fall in love with and very hard to walk away from. Indeed, walking away from a BPDer can feel like you're abandoning a sick child who desperately needs you.

 

I am mentally exhausted.

If your BF really does exhibit strong BPD traits, consider yourself lucky that you are only feeling "mentally exhausted." Most of the abused partners of BPDers start to feel like they may be going insane. Because BPDers typically are convinced that the absurd allegations coming out of their mouths are absolutely true, they generally have a greater "crazy-making" effect than can ever be achieved by narcissists or sociopaths.

 

This is why that, of the 157 mental disorders listed in the APA's diagnostic manual, BPD is the one most notorious for making the abused partners feel like they may be losing their minds. And this is why therapists typically see far more of those abused partners -- coming in to find out if they are going insane -- than they ever see of the BPDers themselves.

 

Nothing will drive you crazier sooner than being repeatedly abused by a partner whom you know, to a certainty, must really love you. The reason is that you will be mistakenly convinced that, if only you can figure out what YOU are doing wrong, you can restore your partner to that wonderful human being you saw at the very beginning.

 

Please let me know how it turns out in the long run or how to freaking end this thing.

If your BF really does exhibit strong BPD traits, the way "it turns out" is that the fighting almost certainly will get worse. Consequently, if you're not yet willing to walk away, I would suggest you see a psychologist -- for a visit or two all by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you're dealing with.

 

I caution that BPD is not something -- like chickenpox -- that a person either "has" or "doesn't have." Instead, it is a spectrum disorder, which means every adult on the planet occasionally exhibits all BPD traits to some degree (albeit at a low level if the person is healthy). At issue, then, is not whether your BF exhibits BPD traits. Of course he does. We all do.

 

Rather, at issue is whether he exhibits those traits at a strong and persistent level (i.e., is on the upper end of the BPD spectrum). Not having met him, I cannot answer that question. I nonetheless believe you can spot any strong BPD warning signs that are present if you take a little time to learn which behaviors are on the list. They are easy to spot -- especially after you've been dating for six months -- because there is nothing subtle about behaviors such as strong verbal abuse, lack of impulse control, and rapid event-triggered mood flips.

 

I therefore suggest that, while you're looking for a good psych, you take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you.

 

Significantly, learning to spot these warning signs will not enable you to diagnose your BF's issues. Yet, like learning warning signs for breast cancer and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid a painful situation, e.g., avoid remaining in this toxic relationship with your BF or running into the arms of another man just like him. Take care, Nancy.

[Goodguy05]

Ohh that makes so much sense - where were you eight months ago.n

 

We should get back on topic, sorry op

 

Haha 8 monthe ago Emily I was in a relationship which little did I know would turn and throw everything in the air. I had a gut feeling about her and it was right unfortunately in the end. I gather you were just coming out of yours? Or when stuff was gonna get realz. I was just thinking tonight I can't let these breakups lead me off course. I really do need to go see a healer and heal all this past garbage and hurt. I can tell you some stories you wouldn't believe they'd fit really well on a jerry springer show lol. My problem is I focus too much on the past and what's happening in there lives when rather I should really be focusing on mine I really need to get over and above that. I guess I've had to many wrongs happen and I wonder how they get away with it and go and live happily ever after while I go onto another relationship that doesn't work out out and I'm not talking short term either the last one was 6 years. I should of ended that along time ago but she use to chase and chase because I already knew I was struggling with her kids but thought wow if someone really cares that much about me maybe it's worth it. How stupid was i tho in the end really stupid.

[nancy1989]

Thank you for your response. I think you are absolutely right. I am so exhausted from fighting now. Don't want to talk to him anymore.... He recently told me he will never consider marriage with me. There is a limit to everything. I had reached my point....

[nancy1989]

Nancy, the behaviors you describe -- i.e., his irrational anger, controlling behavior, easily triggered temper tantrums, lack of impulse control, always being "The Victim," and rapid flips between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (devaluing you) -- are classic warning signs for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Importantly, I'm not suggesting your BF has full-blown BPD but, rather, that he may exhibit moderate to strong traits of it.

 

BPDer relationships are notorious for having multiple breakups. A BPDfamily survey of about 460 such relationships found that nearly a fourth of them (23%) -- like your relationship -- went through 10 or more complete breakup/makeup cycles BEFORE finally ending for good. About 40% of the BPDer relationships experienced at least six breakup/makeup cycles before ending. And 73% had three or more breakup/makeup cycles before finally ending. See "Results" at BPDfamily Breakup/Makeup Poll.

 

The abused partners of BPDers usually try to leave many times before walking away permanently. The primary reason leaving is so difficult is that BPDers exhibit an emotional intensity, immaturity, and purity of expression that otherwise is seen only in young children. This means that, like young children, they are very easy to fall in love with and very hard to walk away from. Indeed, walking away from a BPDer can feel like you're abandoning a sick child who desperately needs you.

 

If your BF really does exhibit strong BPD traits, consider yourself lucky that you are only feeling "mentally exhausted." Most of the abused partners of BPDers start to feel like they may be going insane. Because BPDers typically are convinced that the absurd allegations coming out of their mouths are absolutely true, they generally have a greater "crazy-making" effect than can ever be achieved by narcissists or sociopaths.

 

This is why that, of the 157 mental disorders listed in the APA's diagnostic manual, BPD is the one most notorious for making the abused partners feel like they may be losing their minds. And this is why therapists typically see far more of those abused partners -- coming in to find out if they are going insane -- than they ever see of the BPDers themselves.

 

Nothing will drive you crazier sooner than being repeatedly abused by a partner whom you know, to a certainty, must really love you. The reason is that you will be mistakenly convinced that, if only you can figure out what YOU are doing wrong, you can restore your partner to that wonderful human being you saw at the very beginning.

 

If your BF really does exhibit strong BPD traits, the way "it turns out" is that the fighting almost certainly will get worse. Consequently, if you're not yet willing to walk away, I would suggest you see a psychologist -- for a visit or two all by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you're dealing with.

 

I caution that BPD is not something -- like chickenpox -- that a person either "has" or "doesn't have." Instead, it is a spectrum disorder, which means every adult on the planet occasionally exhibits all BPD traits to some degree (albeit at a low level if the person is healthy). At issue, then, is not whether your BF exhibits BPD traits. Of course he does. We all do.

 

Rather, at issue is whether he exhibits those traits at a strong and persistent level (i.e., is on the upper end of the BPD spectrum). Not having met him, I cannot answer that question. I nonetheless believe you can spot any strong BPD warning signs that are present if you take a little time to learn which behaviors are on the list. They are easy to spot -- especially after you've been dating for six months -- because there is nothing subtle about behaviors such as strong verbal abuse, lack of impulse control, and rapid event-triggered mood flips.

 

I therefore suggest that, while you're looking for a good psych, you take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you.

 

Significantly, learning to spot these warning signs will not enable you to diagnose your BF's issues. Yet, like learning warning signs for breast cancer and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid a painful situation, e.g., avoid remaining in this toxic relationship with your BF or running into the arms of another man just like him. Take care, Nancy.

 

 

 

I am amazed with your reply! Thank you so much for breaking it down for me. I actually started to think he has some type of issues. Now, when you describe this mental condition, it seems like you are describing him like you had met him or something....

 

I finally broke it off. Can't take it anymore. I am so grateful there are people like you who don't just read stuff, they actually give USEFUL insights. Bravo!

[Redhead14]

Hello, I was dating a guy for about half a year. I love him very much so does he. However, not one day goes by without us fighting and breaking up.

After each break up I am the one usually who reaches out to make things right again. He is always eager to accept my apologies even though most of the time its not even my fault. He also disrespects me a lot, calls me a whore just because I used to have bf's before him. I know its not normal relationship and I always want to end it. However somehow I always reach out to him because I do love him. I know that if I will not reach out to him, he will. It will just take more time.

I want to know how to stop myself from contacting him? If anyone is or was in the same situation where fights are happening ALL THE TIME, please please let me know how it turns out in the long run or how to freaking end this thing. I am mentally exhausted.

 

You don't love him, you love the idea of him. Anyone who tolerates the level of disrespect this guy gives you and says that they love him, doesn't love themselves enough.

 

You have two choices here: A) Keep yourself drained and exhausted in a never ending cycle of abuse and unhappiness OR B) BE HAPPY ALONE and get focused on you and your own life as a single, independent woman who deserves to be happy and will wait for the person who will add to and complement that happiness. I would rather be alone than sick with someone else.

 

If anyone is or was in the same situation where fights are happening ALL THE TIME, please please let me know how it turns out in the long run

 

There are millions of people who have been/are in this situation. It always ends badly and leaving two people unhappy and carrying around so much baggage that they can never find a partner.

 

Look up statistics on domestic violence. Couples who fight this often find that it escalates over time and becomes physical until one of them is in a shelter or in jail.

 

You two are simply not compatible PERIOD. How do you stop all this? You get really real with yourself and him and walk away for good.

[nancy1989]

I had posted here last month regarding some difficulties we had with our relationship: constant fighting, lack of respect. Well now, we are officially over because I had realized he never saw me as a serious potential life partner. He actually told me that he would never marry me. It hurts so much to realize that I was just a sex toy for him. Anyone had the same happened? (I am sure a LOT of ladies went through that). I just want to hear how it all turned out at the end?

 

He is also very used to the fact that I always reach out to him first. This time of course I will not. I am just in so much pain.....

 

I would appreciate if someone would just tell me what to do to make the pain go away. Should I start dating? I can't even bring myself to this thought...

 

Guys opinions are very welcome as well.

[basil67]

I'm so sorry you're hurting. But reading back on your previous post, breaking up is the very best outcome for you.

 

I would not recommend dating to remove the pain. Pain is a process we must go through in the journey to healing. Also, I am firmly of the mind that it's terribly unfair to use some unsuspecting men as a bandaid to mask your pain. Would you like to be dated by a heartbroken man just to make him feel better? Probably not.

 

I would suggest counselling for yourself. Learn why you stayed with this horrible man for so long. Also, get to the bottom of why you'd love a man who treated you so horribly. Your view of love is all broken and needs to be fixed.

 

Take time out. Lick your wounds. Get therapy. Then think about your future.

[nancy1989]

I agree. I can't use a person just to try to make myself feel better.... Thank you very much for your kind words. I just wish I can fast forward to the day I wake up and it doesn't hurt anymore.

[SpecialJ]

Don't force yourself to date if you're not ready/comfortable. It doesn't help anything when you're at this stage so early into healing. Sometimes after a breakup I wait a few weeks, go on a date, see how I feel, wait a few more if I'm totally not ready. Rebounding just because I could never helped me personally.

 

What may help is reconnecting with friends / family, doing things you had either planned to do in the relationship but never got around to (I picked up a new sport hobby this way, because a guy I was casually dating offered to teach me, never did, I did it myself and really liked it) or that you couldn't do during the relationship, and challenging yourself, in ways that make you feel independent or strong or improve your self esteem. No matter how you choose to cope, STAY BUSY, be kind to yourself, and try to keep your mind off of what he's thinking. Focus on you. Maybe cut contact (at least for a while) if you feel things got toxic at the end, which you suggest in your post.

 

Eventually, when your emotions are more stable, you can think through what you've learned and if there's anything you want to change about yourself that maybe you didn't like in the relationship (maybe things you think you could do better, or maybe noticing and not accepting mistreatment in the future, depending on your circumstance).

 

I'm sorry you're hurting. There's no way to shortcut through it. Process it out, let the pain take its time and run its course, journal if that helps. Talk to people on this board if you don't have others in real life to talk to for support. It will get better once you create some real distance between you and him.

[preraph]

just about every woman has had this experience when they're young and then they wise up a little, but men can be such liars to get sex that you can easily still fall for the lies. This is one of the reasons some guys shy away from older wiser women, because they aren't as easy to con into sex as young ones who still believe anything they say.

 

Forget about him and move on. Think about any red flags you saw but didn't heed for next time. Like if next guy isn't committing or avoids the subject after a reasonable time, don't make excuses like "He won't communicate, I think he's introverted" or "He doesn't like to talk about it, I think his last girlfriend hurt him." If what you want is commitment and he's not taking any forward steps in a few months, he's not committing and it doesn't matter why not, start dating other guys and move on. Women make far too many excuses for men.

 

You can tell they really care about you if they want to make you happy, watch out to be sure little things are safe for you, like your car, the lock on your door, come to the rescue to support you when needed in a crisis or illness, and aren't just angling to take you out as little as possible and just always trying to get you to just come over and have sex.

[Nothingtolose]

Nancy, I'm so sorry to hear you're hurting. I can only imagine what you're feeling right now. My partner has at times been verbally abusive to me, but not that extreme (he has said I was acting like a bitch, or being stupid, and even those things were very very hard to take and recover from -and they still hurt me to this day).

 

Imagine spending the rest of your life with this guy. Could you see yourself saying lovey-dovey marriage vows to someone that has called you a whore? Anyone who can call you that without a care in the world for your feelings, isn't the life partner you're supposed to be with. One day you will be with a man who will treat you with nothing but love and respect and would never dream of disrespecting you like this, and you will be very glad that you dodged this bullet.

 

Stay strong. <3