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My girlfriend left me after 1 year and 4 months of treating her perfectly


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I'd like to say first off to anyone who decides to read this and respond to me, thank you for helping me this is a very hard time in my life. I'm new to this site, i just created an account as of right now and decided to make a thread about my issue, and yes friends and sites on "how to get an ex back" do help, however i figured this would be a healthy way to vent and get some help as well.

To start off, me and my ex were dating for a year and 4 months, we got together October 16, 2015. I'm 18, she's 16, we are both in high school. I'm a senior she's a junior. Our relationship was great, we went strong for a good 7-8 months without a single fight. Before we dated we had a thing for around 3 months. During this period of 7-8 months of dating everything was so smooth, so perfect. Not a single fight, we communicated, and we loved each other very dearly. My ex during this time was great, she was so sweet and so thoughtful. She was basically everything you could ask for in a girlfriend. I was the same way, i respected her, loved her, and treated her the way a woman should be treated. Whenever i saw her my heart sparked with joy, same goes for her. I met her family, her parents are divorced so it was like meeting two separate families. To make it short i won both sides over, both sides loved me so much and told my ex to never let me go. I'd get invited to every dinner, trip, cruise etc. with them, and of course i'd attend and honestly it made the best memories of my life.

It's probably best to know about who my ex was before jumping into when things got rocky. She was very sweet, loving, caring, and outgoing. She played high school and club soccer, which i did as well. She managed to get decent grades as well, she was an A/B student and i am as well. We'd text and hang out all the time, we enjoyed every single second of it. I'd support her, i'd go to all her soccer games(both club and high school). I was there emotionally for whenever she needed me. I was also there physically for when she needed a shoulder to cry on. She never was interested in partying or drinking or any of that. In which if she wanted to it would bug me a little bit (she's only 16 and my dad was an alcoholic). But never the less if she wanted to party or drink i'd be there and make sure she's safe and all of that no real big issue there. She never forgot our anniversaries or any important things or anything. She was the whole package, i thought i was a truly lucky guy.

It's probably good to know about me as well, I also play high school and club soccer, she'd come to my games as well. My family loved her too very much, she'd come to all of my family events as well. I treated her perfectly, and when i say perfectly, i mean perfectly. I showed her respect, i was understanding of her, and i loved her with all my heart. I even saved up $700 of my money, including my birthday money to go take her to Disney land for our 1 year anniversary. i respected her as well, like any relationship talking about sex will come up, and we did talk and she told me multiple times she wasn't ready, and even though i was i respected her and we never ended up having it. All of my friends and even my ex's family told me i couldn't of treated her any better. I still do love her a ton, and i'm torn it's over because i just love her so much, i really imagined marrying her.

Now to where things started to go down hill, a little over 8 months is when we started to fight. But again, what relation ship doesn't have its set of arguments? We had our first argument, it got resolved and it was all good. However it got to the point to where we would argue frequently about little things, maybe once or twice a month, this started to happen around a year and 1 month into our relationship. Then came the dreaded day she decided to take a break with me, which basically meant she just wanted some space. This happened about 2 months ago from today's date.

Here's the backstory on why she called a break, she made this new friend, lets call her Kim. Kim is a senior like me, she is the not the best influence in the world. She parties, drinks, smokes all the time, and i'm not kidding by all the time. Long story short she stole alcohol from my friends house, came over to my ex's house, in which her and i were there hanging out. She then drinks the whole thing, meets up with some guy to do god knows what in his car then she comes back in and passes out. In to which i told my ex hey i don't think Kim may be the best influence on you. She got mad at me and said don't judge my friends you don't know them etc. That's the night she called a break.

I accepted the break and told her if that's how you feel then do it, it's how you feel. From there on she started to change, she started to hang with Kim everyday. Kim can't drive, so my ex would drive her and still does everywhere. It got to the point to where my ex became friends with Kim's friends,who are just like Kim. Kim would go over to her friends houses with my ex and Kim would get drunk high etc. And for the first time my ex talked to me about drinking, how mow she'd like to party and drink and it shocked me to say the least. And my ex didn't end up doing it, but shed drive Kim home every night from a party or a "kickback". My ex even quit soccer and all other athletics so she could spend more time with Kim. My ex started to talk to more guys during our break, she'd talk to one that flirted with her while we were together. She'd be at his house till midnight on the weekends. She was doing all of this on our break, however i gave her her space and believed her when she said i still want to get back together during our break. She'd also drive out town to go to this guys baseball games too :mad: Yet she insisted he was just a friend and i believed her. All this break i was bettering myself, we stopped fighting and things went well, i actually thought we'd get back together.

Then came the day she broke up with me, it was out of nowhere, a complete blindside. Worst of all, she did it through text. She told me she couldn't see it work out anymore. She did a 180 on me i don't get it, how could this girl change so much on me? So i told her to come over and do it in real life, and she did. She broke up with me, i kissed her one last time and told her how much she meant to me then she left. I became very sad, and i still am. Yet she didn't seemed phased by the breakup at all. It's been 3 weeks since the breakup, and i found out last week one of Kim's best friends, which happens to be a guy(not the guy i was talking about before), kissed her on the cheek. I was so upset when i heard about this, how can this happen after 2 weeks of breaking up? Rumors are also going around that they have a little thing going on, but my ex told me they aren't true even though shes at his house all the time. Then just this Saturday she went to a party with Kim and probably drank. I even sent her a text hey stay safe tonight, im here if you need a ride home. And she didn't even reply :( . The worst part is i'm stuck going to prom with her this Saturday, i asked her during our break and we are still going( I already bought the tickets and she already bought her dress). And guess what, Kim is coming too.

But since the breakup i tried NC, lasted about a week before i talked to her, i had to due to prom. After that i texted her once every three days, and she was so mean and nasty to me, it's like i was talking to a whole different person.She would be rude,be mean to me, or simply just ignore me. I told her i wanted to try and get back together, and i'm giving you my heart. She responded by saying i don't want it o don't want to get back together. Id text her and be like good morning or id tell her to have a good day etc. No matter how nice i was being she'd be so rude and mean to me, i don't get it. She's like a whole new person now, shes even dropped her old friends because Kim didn't like them. I don't know how a girl that was so loving and sweet can turn around and do this to me it hurts so bad. It's like its a whole new girl, not the girl i love. She doesn't even seem hurt by the breakup, she's too busy going out with Kim all the time. Im sitting here hurting and crying while she doesn't even seem phased. I am working on myself though, im making new friends and been hitting the gym, ive noticed my self get stronger too, its a great feeling. But i cant get the sadness out of me. How could she do this to me? How do i get her back i love her so much, i want her back so bad. I don't get how she did this 180, its like shes a whole new person. This Kim girl is really changing her, it's scaring me. I want her back, how do i get her back? How can she change like this? Will she come back and realize what she had? Will she regret doing this?

Thank anyone who takes the time to read this and respond, you guys are truly great human beings :) I'll keep you guys posted when prom comes around as well. Just a response will be great, ill respond to comments whenever i can , thank you guys for your support!!!!

Edited by TimTims
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ThupidCupid

I'm sorry, but don't go chasing after her. She does not deserve you. If she chooses to ruin her own life let her. You need to start going NC (no contact). Block her, delete her, and get yourself together. From the way things are going her future isn't looking so bright. But it's nothing you can do about it. You tried, she doesn't want to fix things. You deserve so much better than her and one day you will find it. Focus on school and graduating. As a 17 year old senior whose ex left her 1yr and 6months into the relationship AND cheated on me during it, I was devestated. But I'm in such a better place because I'm above him and the female he cheated on me with. Some people want to live that miserable no good lifestyle. Find someone who wants to enjoy a good, positive life.

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Thank you for your response it really means a lot to me, i have been told by all my friends and even her mom that she doesn't deserve me. You're absolutely right about all of that, but i always get this feeling that i could of done more you know? That's also part of my issue as well, it's very hard to see the girl that means so much to me go down this very slippery slope, because this isn't the girl i know, it's a shocker i never knew she had this in her. Do you think she will regret this once Kim leaves for college next year, or at all?

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Breakups are tough. Know that it will eventually get better.

 

A few thoughts:

  • First, she has parents to lecture her about poor choices, bad judgment, and terrible friends. No one is looking for their boyfriend to be a third parent, lecturing them about what they should and shouldn't do, or who they should or should not befriend. That gets old very fast. If you don't like her friends or her behavior, you break up and move on. Nagging her to change back to who she was when you first met, does you no favors.
     
  • Second, find someone else to take to prom! In the world of bad ideas, this sits at the top of the pyramid! If you can't find someone else, go with your single buddies or stay home. Going with her as a couple will be a nightmare!
     
  • Third, it's clearly over. Her being so rude and mean to you is her way of making that crystal clear to you. Let go. Stop hoping that she will change her mind and come back. It's not going to happen. The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you can begin the healing process. Hanging on will only drag the breakup out and make things a lot more painful for you. Delete her contact info. Block her on social media. Avoid her like the plague at school. Pretend she has Ebola virus every time you're tempted to seek her out.

 

Good luck!

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Do they still teach paragraphs in high school?

 

Reading the title all I can tell you is find someone that appreciates you treating them perfectly.

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Hello mate.

 

I'm sorry to come in here and say the same thing as everyone else, but sadly the relationship is over. There isn't anything you can do to get her back, I know how hard it is to accept this as I've been in this situation many times.

 

The more you contact her, the more she will pull away. Her perception of you has changed - the more you contact her, the more she will lose respect for you. The best thing to do is continue with the working out, and try your absolute best not to contact her. I'm so sorry it hasn't worked out with this person, but you will go on to find love again in the future.

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You don't want to hear this but 16 year old girls are flakey. They are indecisive.

 

 

The fact that you treated her "perfectly" was not the factor that made her want to see what else & who else was out there.

 

 

Kim may be a "bad influence" but your EX ultimately made the decision.

 

 

The absence of fighting is not what makes a good relationship. While constant conflict signals problems, not fighting doesn't mean every thing was great.

 

 

You claim this break up came out of the blue. Unfortunately, it didn't. That "break" a while back was the first clear signal that this was headed for a break up.

 

 

Do take someone else to prom. Concentrate on having a great summer & then go off to college without any ties to back home.

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I'd like to say first off to anyone who decides to read this and respond to me, thank you for helping me this is a very hard time in my life. I'm new to this site, i just created an account as of right now and decided to make a thread about my issue, and yes friends and sites on "how to get an ex back" do help, however i figured this would be a healthy way to vent and get some help as well.

To start off, me and my ex were dating for a year and 4 months, we got together October 16, 2015. I'm 18, she's 16, we are both in high school. I'm a senior she's a junior. Our relationship was great, we went strong for a good 7-8 months without a single fight. Before we dated we had a thing for around 3 months. During this period of 7-8 months of dating everything was so smooth, so perfect. Not a single fight, we communicated, and we loved each other very dearly. My ex during this time was great, she was so sweet and so thoughtful. She was basically everything you could ask for in a girlfriend. I was the same way, i respected her, loved her, and treated her the way a woman should be treated. Whenever i saw her my heart sparked with joy, same goes for her. I met her family, her parents are divorced so it was like meeting two separate families. To make it short i won both sides over, both sides loved me so much and told my ex to never let me go. I'd get invited to every dinner, trip, cruise etc. with them, and of course i'd attend and honestly it made the best memories of my life.

It's probably best to know about who my ex was before jumping into when things got rocky. She was very sweet, loving, caring, and outgoing. She played high school and club soccer, which i did as well. She managed to get decent grades as well, she was an A/B student and i am as well. We'd text and hang out all the time, we enjoyed every single second of it. I'd support her, i'd go to all her soccer games(both club and high school). I was there emotionally for whenever she needed me. I was also there physically for when she needed a shoulder to cry on. She never was interested in partying or drinking or any of that. In which if she wanted to it would bug me a little bit (she's only 16 and my dad was an alcoholic). But never the less if she wanted to party or drink i'd be there and make sure she's safe and all of that no real big issue there. She never forgot our anniversaries or any important things or anything. She was the whole package, i thought i was a truly lucky guy.

It's probably good to know about me as well, I also play high school and club soccer, she'd come to my games as well. My family loved her too very much, she'd come to all of my family events as well. I treated her perfectly, and when i say perfectly, i mean perfectly. I showed her respect, i was understanding of her, and i loved her with all my heart. I even saved up $700 of my money, including my birthday money to go take her to Disney land for our 1 year anniversary. i respected her as well, like any relationship talking about sex will come up, and we did talk and she told me multiple times she wasn't ready, and even though i was i respected her and we never ended up having it. All of my friends and even my ex's family told me i couldn't of treated her any better. I still do love her a ton, and i'm torn it's over because i just love her so much, i really imagined marrying her.

Now to where things started to go down hill, a little over 8 months is when we started to fight. But again, what relation ship doesn't have its set of arguments? We had our first argument, it got resolved and it was all good. However it got to the point to where we would argue frequently about little things, maybe once or twice a month, this started to happen around a year and 1 month into our relationship. Then came the dreaded day she decided to take a break with me, which basically meant she just wanted some space. This happened about 2 months ago from today's date.

Here's the backstory on why she called a break, she made this new friend, lets call her Kim. Kim is a senior like me, she is the not the best influence in the world. She parties, drinks, smokes all the time, and i'm not kidding by all the time. Long story short she stole alcohol from my friends house, came over to my ex's house, in which her and i were there hanging out. She then drinks the whole thing, meets up with some guy to do god knows what in his car then she comes back in and passes out. In to which i told my ex hey i don't think Kim may be the best influence on you. She got mad at me and said don't judge my friends you don't know them etc. That's the night she called a break.

I accepted the break and told her if that's how you feel then do it, it's how you feel. From there on she started to change, she started to hang with Kim everyday. Kim can't drive, so my ex would drive her and still does everywhere. It got to the point to where my ex became friends with Kim's friends,who are just like Kim. Kim would go over to her friends houses with my ex and Kim would get drunk high etc. And for the first time my ex talked to me about drinking, how mow she'd like to party and drink and it shocked me to say the least. And my ex didn't end up doing it, but shed drive Kim home every night from a party or a "kickback". My ex even quit soccer and all other athletics so she could spend more time with Kim. My ex started to talk to more guys during our break, she'd talk to one that flirted with her while we were together. She'd be at his house till midnight on the weekends. She was doing all of this on our break, however i gave her her space and believed her when she said i still want to get back together during our break. She'd also drive out town to go to this guys baseball games too :mad: Yet she insisted he was just a friend and i believed her. All this break i was bettering myself, we stopped fighting and things went well, i actually thought we'd get back together.

Then came the day she broke up with me, it was out of nowhere, a complete blindside. Worst of all, she did it through text. She told me she couldn't see it work out anymore. She did a 180 on me i don't get it, how could this girl change so much on me? So i told her to come over and do it in real life, and she did. She broke up with me, i kissed her one last time and told her how much she meant to me then she left. I became very sad, and i still am. Yet she didn't seemed phased by the breakup at all. It's been 3 weeks since the breakup, and i found out last week one of Kim's best friends, which happens to be a guy(not the guy i was talking about before), kissed her on the cheek. I was so upset when i heard about this, how can this happen after 2 weeks of breaking up? Rumors are also going around that they have a little thing going on, but my ex told me they aren't true even though shes at his house all the time. Then just this Saturday she went to a party with Kim and probably drank. I even sent her a text hey stay safe tonight, im here if you need a ride home. And she didn't even reply :( . The worst part is i'm stuck going to prom with her this Saturday, i asked her during our break and we are still going( I already bought the tickets and she already bought her dress). And guess what, Kim is coming too.

But since the breakup i tried NC, lasted about a week before i talked to her, i had to due to prom. After that i texted her once every three days, and she was so mean and nasty to me, it's like i was talking to a whole different person.She would be rude,be mean to me, or simply just ignore me. I told her i wanted to try and get back together, and i'm giving you my heart. She responded by saying i don't want it o don't want to get back together. Id text her and be like good morning or id tell her to have a good day etc. No matter how nice i was being she'd be so rude and mean to me, i don't get it. She's like a whole new person now, shes even dropped her old friends because Kim didn't like them. I don't know how a girl that was so loving and sweet can turn around and do this to me it hurts so bad. It's like its a whole new girl, not the girl i love. She doesn't even seem hurt by the breakup, she's too busy going out with Kim all the time. Im sitting here hurting and crying while she doesn't even seem phased. I am working on myself though, im making new friends and been hitting the gym, ive noticed my self get stronger too, its a great feeling. But i cant get the sadness out of me. How could she do this to me? How do i get her back i love her so much, i want her back so bad. I don't get how she did this 180, its like shes a whole new person. This Kim girl is really changing her, it's scaring me. I want her back, how do i get her back? How can she change like this? Will she come back and realize what she had? Will she regret doing this?

Thank anyone who takes the time to read this and respond, you guys are truly great human beings :) I'll keep you guys posted when prom comes around as well. Just a response will be great, ill respond to comments whenever i can , thank you guys for your support!!!!

 

 

My ex was exactly the same and where in our 40s nothing u cab do bro let her go. Her friend like mine has been influenced by her new friend. In my ex's case the reason she did was because she lost her kids in a custody battle and I think it was her way of rebelling. I have not once contacted her after I tried once it's just not worth it and u actually push her further away. Wen ur so nice in fact it does the reverse and she loses attraction. All u can do is not want her. I was gonna say shes quiet young but then look at my ex lol. For watever reason she's enjoying this bad side it's usually something to do wth rebelling about something maybe she was always a good girl and this intrigued her nonetheless let her go and in time she will regret it

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Btw I can assure u once she's seen these groups true colours she'll probably catch on she's just being used alcohol is a fake way to bond it's not real so for wat it's worth just let time do its thing in her case she'll come to her senses I hope this helps

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I agree w d0nnivain. Treating someone "perfectly" doesn't mean they will always love you, or that they are obligated to stay with you forever. Oftentimes you just grow apart, especially at your age where you are finding your identity.

 

Here's the thing, she's 16 and from what it sounds like, is going through a rebellious phase. It is actually fairly normal. Sure she might eventually regret giving up soccer and whatnot to take up partying, but in the end it's really her decision, she has to find herself. You and she just are no longer compatible.

 

Look, you're 18, enjoy your upcoming summer, there will be plenty of girls for you in college and all around you. And meanwhile, I agree w everyone else here, find someone else to go to prom with!

 

ETA: As others already said, STOP w the begging to get back together. It's not sweet, you are instead only repulsing her further as you make yourself look bad. You are also not allowing yourself to get over her by keeping this up. Leave her alone.

Edited by Imajerk17
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You sound like a good guy. I know this is really, incredibly hard for you. Don't take her to prom. Leave her completely alone, take her off your phone and unfollow (or block) her on social media. Write the relationship off. She's just a dumb kid. 16 y/os are flaky as hell. There is nothing you can do about her behavior.

 

It is also worth mentioning that you will be going through unprecedented change the next few years. Any relationship you get into under the age of 25 will be dicey; that being said you will meet a ton of new girls during that time.

Edited by Hoosfoos
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Hey bro, sorry to hear about what has happened. It was a tough read as it reminded me of how things use to play out for me when I was your age.

 

I agree with the vast majority of posts on here. You sound like a good guy you will bounce back from this. I have treated women well/badly down the years and had the same treatment from women as strange as it sounds it sometimes can make not much difference.

 

Women/Men of any age can be flaky unfortunately. The type of behaviour you experienced will not neccesarily change as you get older. However you are young and you have time very much on your side. Trust me things will improve for you.

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OP Dude don't go to the prom with her...!!! What ever you do because she's telling her friends how she can't stand you and how big of a joke you are it's going to be a nightmare having to be with you that night. And you can count on she's going to treat you like sh:t the whole night. And Buddy you got to get over her or fake it till you make it.! You haven't even sleeped with her be glad because it would have been a lot harder for you to get over her... and you need to learn how to walk away when it's over because if you don't you're headed for years of pain. Also try not to second-guess us we're a lot older than you buddy we have been through your same situation many times over... and by the way six months from now you'll be laughing at the situation.

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First off a huge thanks to each and every one of you guys! From what a gathered from all of you guys come down to this:

 

 

1. Stop with the contact, initiate the NC rule. Although it will be very hard to do i know i can do it. It's the best thing to do for me, so i no longer will get hurt by her and take the time and space to realize there are other girls out there, ones better than her. I'll keep you guys updated as well so come back every now and then, you guys all sound older and more experienced than me, i can learn from you guys. Your feedback is a bigger help than you think.

 

 

2. I need to face the fact, it's over. Thank you guys for telling me the truth, i'd rather hear that than some lie, seriously. As hard as it is and as much as i love her its true, what's done is done. After all it was her choice to end it, not me, her loss. Yet of course typing this is easier than dealing with it if that makes any sense. This is going to be extremely difficult, i will try my absolute hardest to stay strong. It is difficult however, the good memories fly through my head daily, and make me long for her to be in my life, but this must stop.

 

 

3. Her age plays a factor in this, i was a little more surprised by this, then felt like a total idiot once it hit me. She's only 16, you guys are right, i guess she's just trying to "find" herself. As much as it hurts to watch her make these friends and quit sports to party etc. it's her life not mine. I have my own goals, ambitions, and own life to worry about, so why should I be flipping out when i have my own life ahead of me? Again, as hard as it is to say i guess people do drift apart :( I guess i was to ignorant to realize with my age as well as hers we won't be the same people in 5-10 years. And I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE GONNA GIVE ME MAJOR CRAP FOR THIS, BUT HERE IT GOES. Throughout high school i have averaged around a 3.8 gpa. I consider myself to not be a total dumb dumb, but what i did is going to make me sound like an idiot. I chose to go to my local community college so i could stay and be closer to her, i feel so stupid for this. At least i don't have to pay for it, thank the lord for financial aid. Im going to get my gen ed. done and leave ASAP.

 

 

4. What you've all been waiting for, prom. Iv'e saved this for last because i have a lot to say, so please bear with me here guys. Here's the situation, she already got a dress, and i already paid for the tickets(I paid for both to be a grand total of $300), what a waste if i go with her. We bought the tickets together, which means we are seated together on the bus:sick: But there is a way around all of this. So there has been a girl iv'e befriended during this mess, lets call her Emma. Emma and i have a lot of common interests, one being we both love cars, i can talk to her all day about them, not to stereo type but pretty odd for a girl right? We both have the same taste in music, which is really cool because we send each other songs all the time and listen to them. We met 4 years ago, talked as friends for a little then just kinda stopped talking, and now we are reconnecting. On top of that we just get along, over the breakup iv'e taken her to dinner and coffee, as friends of course. Here's the thing, Emma is really attractive to me, and i'd love to take her to prom. It is way too soon for me to you know make move or anything on her, i just got out a hard breakup i'm not ready for a relationship soon, i need to recover. But Emma is really pretty with a great personality, and i'd definitely like to talk to her more and see where it goes from there. But my ex hates this Emma girl, but i would rather take Emma and just have fun than take my ex and like you guys said and be miserable. To me it boils down to 2 things:

 

1. I'm gonna feel like a total A-hole if a ditch my ex for Emma, is that okay to think or am i being weak? Is it right to tell my ex no this late? Prom is literally this Saturday :o I don't wanna come off as a total douche, but i also want to have fun with a girl i know i can enjoy my last prom with. Help me guys i'm stuck, and the clock is ticking.

 

2. It's gonna be hard to ask her, not only because my ex hates her, but i'm kinda nervous to ask, is it too late to ask her? I'm nervous about rejection as well, will this damage our friendship or any possible relationship with her in the future if she says no? Will she feel awkward if i ask? There are so many factors that are playing around in my head. Is the risk worth the reward is what it kinda comes down to. I don't even know her parents or anything, and she'd still have to find a dress. But the thing is i want to go with her.

P.S. She had recently gotten out of a relationship as well, he cheated on her she left. The guy that cheated on her is my ex's new friend as well, i don't wanna start WWIII here.

 

All of yours guys' feedback is great, i'm new to this stuff so i hope it alerts you guys or something that i responded. I'm gonna go to bed it's 1am in Cali and i have an AP Economy test tomorrow, wish me luck! Again all your guys' feed back means the world to me, thank you guys for helping me, a total stranger, you guys all have good hearts

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did my reply not send? Wow it didn't, am i going to type this all over again? It took me an hour to write. It says A moderator has to approve my post before its on the thread, tell me if this is normal, i responded to all of you guys in one big message. Tell me if it pops up if not ill write it again, ugh

Edited by TimTims
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First off huge thanks for all of you who responded! I appreciate your guys' responses and i can learn from them. So I've gathered all of yours guys' responses and decided to make one big response. Oh and by the way if my other post goes through and you are seeing this, read the other it's the same thing. But here we go, I've broken down your guys responses into this:

 

 

1. The NC rule, time to let go. You guys were all right, as much as it hurts me to say, she really is gone. Thank you guys for not sugar coating anything, i need the truth, as cold as it is. I need to heal, and in order to do this i must not have any contact with her. I need to do this for my own sake, to heal, to recover. I'm following all of your guys' responses, so i do take them very seriously. All you guys sound way older than me, more experienced in relationships, so therefore i'm going to listen to you guys very closely. You guys don't know how much your responses mean to me, and please do continue to communicate with me.

 

 

2. Realizing our age. This surprised me for a matter in fact, but when it hit it hit i understood very well. Let's face it, shes only 16 years old. I'm only 18, we are both kids. She doesn't know what she wants in life, like you guys said, girls that age are "dicey". Why should i stress either about her, i have my own life, i have my own worries and problems, this just stacks up and makes it harder. It's my best bet to just let it go and move on with my life. I have college, friends, and family to worry about. I have my whole life ahead of me, i need to make the best of it and enjoy it.

 

 

3. Letting her do her. I mean if she wants to party, drink, quit sports so be it. Although it is soooo hard to watch, what can i really do about it you know? I can't do anything, she's going to do what she wants. Although it pains me you guys are right, she may just be trying to "find" herself. It is very hard to watch but i can't mope around all day. I consider myself to not be a total dumb dumb, all through out high school I've averaged a 3.8 gpa. BUT HERE IS WHERE I FEEL VERY DUMB, YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO TEAR ME A NEW ONE ONCE YOU HEAR THIS. So here it goes, iv'e decided to go to a community college so i could stay in the area to be near her. I know i know, i am very dumb for doing this. But hey i can get my gen ed. done for free, financial aid is wonderful. As soon as my 2 years are up i'm gone, believe me.

 

 

4. What you've all been waiting for, Prom. Iv'e saved this for last because i have a lot to say. I've taken all your guys' advice so far, so why not take this one? So here is my situation: My ex already bought her dress and i already paid for BOTH tickets($300 total), what a waste if i don't have fun. So there is this girl i have been talking to during this hard time, Lets call her Emma. I'd rather take Emma than my ex to prom any day of the week. But here lies some problems:

 

1. I don't want to be an A-Hole, is it okay to just say no to my Ex and go with Emma? I mean prom is this Saturday :sick: I don't want to be jerk, is it okay to just tell her i don't want to go? And since me and my ex bought the tickets together, we are sitting on the bus together as well, but i can get around that if i take Emma. I just don't want to be rude, but i want to have a good night as well, help me out here guys!

 

2. During this breakup period i have been talking to Emma, as friends of course. We used to talk 4 years ago, we kinda drifted and now we are reconnecting, it's great :) I went out to dinner with her and took her out for some coffee, again as friends. Here's the deal, this Emma girl is so cool and attractive to me. We share a lot of common interests. For example we both like cars, we can talk about cars all day long, pretty weird for a girl right :laugh: We also both love music, for a matter in fact we send each other songs and we listen to them and talk about how great they are. We have more interests as well, and we both get along great on top of this! But the thing is my ex hates Emma, a lot. I'm not trying to start crap here but i'd sooo much more take her than my ex. Emma is very attractive to me, of course i'm not ready to date, but i wanna get to know her better and open the window to a possible relationship in the future. But will asking her close these opportunities? What if she says no, will this hurt our friendship? Is it too late to ask her? Will she have time to get a dress? All of these things make me nervous, and i'm also scared of rejection. But i want to go with her so bad, i think it'll be 500 times better than with my ex. Your guys' responses will be very valued here.

P.S. Emma had just recently gotten out of a relationship as well, she got cheated on. And guess what, her ex is friends with my ex, i don't want to start WWIII here. Any response is greatly appreciated. What do i do here? And again i'd like to thank all of you guys for helping a random guy like me, you all have hearts of gold.

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P.S. Emma had just recently gotten out of a relationship as well, she got cheated on. And guess what, her ex is friends with my ex, i don't want to start WWIII here. Any response is greatly appreciated. What do i do here? And again i'd like to thank all of you guys for helping a random guy like me, you all have hearts of gold.

 

So you're hoping to rebound with someone on the rebound? Add that to the pile of very bad ideas. Try being single for a while, rather than jumping into something else immediately.

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Thanks for the reply, i'm not trying to get with her, however i'd rather go with her as friends. By the sound of it everyone is saying its no go to go with my ex. And she is the only girl i can think that i would consider going with, but i don't want to raise hell either, it's a hard spot. What do you think i should do?

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