A Month After Breakup

[Sango118]

My boyfriend of several years broke up with me about a month ago and it's now nearly a week of no contact.

We had a long distance relationship for a couple of years because he had to move for his new job. I noticed that he started changing and became quite depressed from being isolated. He was not able to connect with people and didn't make new friendships outside of work. He also started being very irritable and couldn't stand when people made mistakes. He wasn't himself anymore.

A few months ago he moved back down to live closer to friends, family and I, but it didn't help with his depression. He still has suicidal thoughts.

I noticed that he started getting irritated with things that I did, if I made mistakes, accidentally dropped things and he was also sometimes irritated with himself when he messed up practical things; he went into a rage.

Besides that, in the past six months we shared a lot of special moments together, even weeks before the breakup.

 

After one of our many silly little arguments (that I stupidly started over something small), we started talking things through and we were going to make changes. But then a few days later, he thought a lot more about it and he decided to let me go and doesn't want to ever come back. He told me that he hated everything about me.

He said it was not only being isolated at his previous job, but it was also me who's causing his depression.

I've been told by several people including my psych that it wasn't my fault, that it was his choice to move and to not get himself out there to make friends.

I don't know what to think, I've been blaming myself and going through all this in my mind. If I just did things differently or had helped him more than I did.

I admit during our time apart I had grown accustomed to it and didn't provide the affection he needed when he returned.

 

I still love and care about him and blame myself for the end of our relationship. How do I overcome this?

Edited March 26, 2017 by Sango118

[Goodguy05]

My boyfriend of several years broke up with me about a month ago and it's now nearly a week of no contact.

We had a long distance relationship for a couple of years because he had to move for his new job. I noticed that he started changing and became quite depressed from being isolated. He was not able to connect with people and didn't make new friendships outside of work. He also started being very irritable and couldn't stand when people made mistakes. He wasn't himself anymore.

A few months ago he moved back down to live closer to friends, family and I, but it didn't help with his depression. He still has suicidal thoughts.

I noticed that he started getting irritated with things that I did, if I made mistakes, accidentally dropped things and he was also sometimes irritated with himself when he messed up practical things; he went into a rage.

Besides that, in the past six months we shared a lot of special moments together, even weeks before the breakup.

 

After one of our many silly little arguments (that I stupidly started over something small), we started talking things through and we were going to make changes. But then a few days later, he thought a lot more about it and he decided to let me go and doesn't want to ever come back. He told me that he hated everything about me.

He said it was not only being isolated at his previous job, but it was also me who's causing his depression.

I've been told by several people including my psych that it wasn't my fault, that it was his choice to move and to not get himself out there to make friends.

I don't know what to think, I've been blaming myself and going through all this in my mind. If I just did things differently or had helped him more than I did.

I admit during our time apart I had grown accustomed to it and didn't provide the affection he needed when he returned.

 

I still love and care about him and blame myself for the end of our relationship. How do I overcome this?

 

U sound like ur already half way there meaning the healing process. Maybr his blaming and that had made u slowly let go? Just something to chew on