Popping in and out of my life

[BeStronger]

We broke up 3 months ago.

 

I stopped accepting breadcrumbs and went full NC for almost 1 month. In that time, i found out that he and his ex got back together.

 

As we work in the same place, we had a company event. Throughout the party, I kept my distance. He came to say hi, i said hi briefly and walked off to talk to some other colleagues.

 

Through the last part of the night, he saw me drinking. When I came out of the toilet after freshening up, he was waiting outside. He asked me if i was ok to drive home since I drank. I told him i didn't drink much and said thanks before I walked away.

 

While driving home, he called. I didn't answer his call.

 

Awhile later he called again. I answered (i know i shouldn't have but ugh, must have been a little of the alcohol).

 

He asked me where I was, and if was home safe. I said no, I was still driving. He then talked to me about some work related things, before awhile later he asked if I was home. I had just parked the car and said yes. He said great, cos he called cos he wanted to know if i got home safe.

 

I said yes, thank you and that I had to go. He didn't want to hang up, asking me again how I was, and how I have been. I know i should have hung up, but to say I wasn't touched but his "care" would have been a lie. Through the conversation he drew mention to "you remember when we were together... " a few times.

 

I eventually said I really had to go, and hung up.

 

Just wanted to rant. I know NC is the way to go. Just so difficult to stick through it when he keeps popping back and because we work together, it can get difficult to break all forms of contact.

[Altair0770]

Yeah it is difficult when they keep pressuring to get information.

 

These are the typical breadcrumbs. My only advice would be to state clearly that you don't want to talk to him unless he is willing to discuss potential reconciliation. If he doesn't want to, then tell him to leave you alone unless it's 100% work related.

 

If he does continue, you're going to want to block his number.

[Redhead14]

The best way to deal with breadcrumbs is not to eat them . . .

[BeStronger]

Indeed. I've tried so hard not to eat them... but boy, is he persistent in feeding me the crumbs....

 

When its work related, I reply.

 

If not, i've ignored questions/texts.

 

I just wish he didn't pretend like he cared if i got home safe or not.

[Purepony]

Do you think you're still interested and if you are.. why not give it a chance ?

[Justyaaveraggurl]

This must be difficult for you and feel like an emotional roller coaster. I think you should simply block his number. That way you both are forced to interact in a non personal controlled environment. It sounds like you have not had enough time get through the grief of separation so I wouldn't chance it. Moving on and self-care should be your concern right now. Though he is reaching out to you, which could be quilt or an inability to have closure, especially since you went a whole month with NC, he obviously has moved on and you should too. I would suggest finding a place to direct your passion like volunteering for a cause that might interest. I know that sounds strange right now, but many times the best way to heal from our own wounds is by helping to mend the broken wounds of others.

Edited March 26, 2017 by Justyaaveraggurl
spelling

[BeStronger]

Do you think you're still interested and if you are.. why not give it a chance ?

 

Interested in him?

 

He was the one that broke up with me actually, when I was in the "peak" in our relationship. Unfortunately, I was so caught up in love that I lost myself. I begged him for a chance and he out rightly said no.

 

Danced back and forth with me for a few weeks of making me believe we could get back together. But one day, I felt like I had enough of his hot and cold behavior and backed off from him.

 

Of cos, awhile later I found out he was dating his ex again.

 

I can't say I have zero feelings left, but it's not much.

 

Though after last week's call to check if i was home safe did rile up some feelings for me.

[BeStronger]

This must be difficult for you and feel like an emotional roller coaster. I think you should simply block his number. That way you both are forced to interact in a non personal controlled environment. It sounds like you have not had enough time get through the grief of separation so I wouldn't chance it. Moving on and self-care should be your concern right now. Though he is reaching out to you, which could be quilt or an inability to have closure, especially since you went a whole month with NC, he obviously has moved on and you should too. I would suggest finding a place to direct your passion like volunteering for a cause that might interest. I know that sounds strange right now, but many times the best way to heal from our own wounds is by helping to mend the broken wounds of others.

 

It really does get better with time. Initially it was real tough, but now I'm really way better. Unfortunately like you said, we work in the same place - not in the same department/floor so I don't see him often. In fact if i don't make efforts to bump into him - i'll probably see him like once every few months. Usually more at company events.

 

I would have thought he would have moved on, considering he is seeing his ex once again. But can't figure out why he would still very much bother with me anymore?