sam5592 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Hello everyone, thanks for reading. I have mentioned the situation on another post prior to my ex coming back, so I'll quickly give a summary. Well my ex gf of 5 years split up with me in December just gone, she explained the reasons to me (petty arguments, I got complacent) we were in NC for 5 weeks, then we bumped into each other at a local bar. Well from here onwards we stayed in contact, we were dating up until last week.. heck she even asked me to be her boyfriend again 3 times (I played it cool and said give it time). Things were going amazing, we both said the break up had done us both good and we had never been so happy... then wham! My mother sticks her oar in, messaging my ex saying she won't accept her back after upsetting me etc. Anyways me and my ex dealt with this issue and carried on happy as we was, then last week she became cold for 2 days, I asked what's up and we went out on our normal date night for a meal... And well she ended things again, she couldn't deal with the crap my mom had came out with and she said she feels too stressed out with it all. She still loves me and said she hopes she doesn't regret doing this but she had to end it for her benefit. My mom has recently apologised to her and resolved the issues, but my ex doesnt seem intrested. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Hello everyone, thanks for reading. I have mentioned the situation on another post prior to my ex coming back, so I'll quickly give a summary. Well my ex gf of 5 years split up with me in December just gone, she explained the reasons to me (petty arguments, I got complacent) we were in NC for 5 weeks, then we bumped into each other at a local bar. Well from here onwards we stayed in contact, we were dating up until last week.. heck she even asked me to be her boyfriend again 3 times (I played it cool and said give it time). Things were going amazing, we both said the break up had done us both good and we had never been so happy... then wham! My mother sticks her oar in, messaging my ex saying she won't accept her back after upsetting me etc. Anyways me and my ex dealt with this issue and carried on happy as we was, then last week she became cold for 2 days, I asked what's up and we went out on our normal date night for a meal... And well she ended things again, she couldn't deal with the crap my mom had came out with and she said she feels too stressed out with it all. She still loves me and said she hopes she doesn't regret doing this but she had to end it for her benefit. My mom has recently apologised to her and resolved the issues, but my ex doesnt seem intrested. Any ideas? Sorry man, your Mom killed any and all chances with her. Apologies after the initial attack on her won't mean much. We are talking about family attacking her. She probably feels bad about the initial breakup and carries that guilt. Add to that, that there was family compounding it, and it's nuclear. I would just let her be so she can sort through if anything is left in her. I would venture to guess that it is all not going to seem worth it to her and she will move forward without you. Sorry bud. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 I just don't get it though, we discussed it between us and it didn't seem to affect her. She was just happy to have me back, so what happenned? She needs to "sort herself" whatever thst means Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I just don't get it though, we discussed it between us and it didn't seem to affect her. She was just happy to have me back, so what happenned? She needs to "sort herself" whatever thst means Sounds to me like she put on a "brave face" in regards to it, but in reality it hurt. "Sort herself" means that she wants to decide whether remaining with you is plausible to her with all the baggage that comes with it. It also means that she more than likely is going to date others and see if that is the road she wants to take for her future. I know it sucks, and it sucks bad, but you're between a rock and a hard place. Your only move is to go back to NC and move forward with your life. She knows where to find you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 She was hurt I know that for sure, because her and my mom have always been close... it was just all said in the heat of the moment. So she's basically going to start dating others to get over me? I should just give up then right? Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 She was hurt I know that for sure, because her and my mom have always been close... it was just all said in the heat of the moment. So she's basically going to start dating others to get over me? I should just give up then right? The only person that knows what she is going to do is her. There is no guarantee that she is, nor one that she wont. What you need to do is focus on you. Go back to living your life. Date, have fun, and try as best you can to move forward. I know it's easier said than done, and you want all the answers of what she is or is not going to do, but that is not something that be given. Just do you. Do not beg or plead or anything like that. Be strong. You will drive yourself insane trying to figure out what she is going to do. Don't do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 When we last spoke we specifically discussed about this issue. I asked if she had met someone new? Someone on the horizon? Are you looking to just have fun, play the field? And she point blank refused all those questions, she said "I'm not intrested in any other guys, I want to be on my own, to de stress and sort my head out. If you think I want sex then think again, if I get horny I'd rather just sort myself out sexually" Is that just what all girls say? Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Pretty much yeah. Never trust what an ex says imo. I'd go NC. She came to you before, she may do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 Great! She has never been that kind of girl, and she seemed genuine. She didn't reach out to me before, we bumped into each other... Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 When an ex breaks up with you, they no longer owe you the truth. What comes out of their mouth is only to make things easier for them when dealing with you. Of course she may see other people and have sex. At this point it's really none of your business and you can do the same. Once the relationship is done, the dumper does not want any confrontation, hence the lies that come out of their mouth. Words mean very little. Your mom may have been the reason for her leaving again, but second chances this soon after a break up rarely ever work anyway, so regardless of your mom, doubtful it would have worked out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 I understand she no longer owes me the truth, but I think I'm entitled to the real reason for breaking things off again because my mom just seems like an excuse seeing as my mom has tried to rebuild the bridges. What do I do now? Because things were going amazing the last 5 weeks, we were happier than ever and then she just dropped another bombshell! Link to post Share on other sites
Grathblagg Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 You're not entitled to anything, Sam. As long as you keep asking "why", you're not moving forward. It does not matter "why". It is what it is. Move forward, go NC, and realize that there are plenty of people out there who will love you for who you are, but you won't find any of them if you spend your days dwelling on "why", as that won't change a darn thing. Stop locking yourself in an emotional closet. It's dark in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 You're not entitled to anything, Sam. As long as you keep asking "why", you're not moving forward. It does not matter "why". It is what it is. Move forward, go NC, and realize that there are plenty of people out there who will love you for who you are, but you won't find any of them if you spend your days dwelling on "why", as that won't change a darn thing. Stop locking yourself in an emotional closet. It's dark in there. I just thought after 5 years she could show me some decency. Why come back for 5 weeks, both genuinely happier than ever before then wham just turn cold and walk away again? I just wanted the reasons why so I can learn from them if she never comes back I'll be a better person regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Show some decency? Some people have none, at least now you know. Just shows how easy it is for her to walk in and out of your life... if she can't handle these little obstacles, don't even dream of going the distance with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 Show some decency? Some people have none, at least now you know. Just shows how easy it is for her to walk in and out of your life... if she can't handle these little obstacles, don't even dream of going the distance with her. My family have suggested maybe she met someone new over Christmas while we were split up, things went downHill so she came back to me.. but now the other guy has came back on the scene so she's dropped me? This whole situation makes me feel sick, we had planned our whole future together, got the mortgage deposit, household items and everything! Link to post Share on other sites
BryanSmiley Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 My family have suggested maybe she met someone new over Christmas while we were split up, things went downHill so she came back to me.. but now the other guy has came back on the scene so she's dropped me? This whole situation makes me feel sick, we had planned our whole future together, got the mortgage deposit, household items and everything! That's very poor behavior on her part IF true. But of course it's what if's. It's natural to pine for answers. But even if you had them there'd cause some clarity, but bring with it some pain. You'll tear yourself apart wondering. Look at it this way, the next guy will go into something with her months or years and not know she has the capability to plan out entire futures, marriage, but then withdraw and mess around, be less than upfront or clear. You do know! Move on, you'll gradually start to feel it, but your better off without her in the long-run. Imagine having a kid with a person whom you know deep down, has it in them to one minute make plans with you, the next dump you, then come back again? Red flag, steer clear of that capability in someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 Majority of my family and friends think all the signs lead to her having someone else, but we are all so confused as she has never been that type of girl... I know a lot of people say the same, but if you ever met my ex you would understand. She's isn't a flirt, not provocative nor is she very outgoing. The only reason I think she has someone else is because how else could she be so cold and un intrested? Link to post Share on other sites
Dandannydandan Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) I just thought after 5 years she could show me some decency. Why come back for 5 weeks, both genuinely happier than ever before then wham just turn cold and walk away again? I just wanted the reasons why so I can learn from them if she never comes back I'll be a better person regardless. Im in the same boat Sam. Was with my ex for 2 years, she broke up with me, she came back and after 3 months she broke it off again, over text. She said she always planned to meet up with me up to talk about it in person, but she never did and I saw a completely different side to her. You would expect deceny regardless of the situation but some people just have none. Edited March 25, 2017 by Dandannydandan 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nowhereboy Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 What do I do now? Because things were going amazing the last 5 weeks, we were happier than ever and then she just dropped another bombshell! I'm in exactly the same boat here fella. Dumped, taken back for a month and then dumped again. Like honestly what was the point in putting me through all of that AGAIN? I can imagine you feel similar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dandannydandan Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I'm in exactly the same boat here fella. Dumped, taken back for a month and then dumped again. Like honestly what was the point in putting me through all of that AGAIN? I can imagine you feel similar. I think its because they do genuinely have feelings for you and want it to work out. But there were things that needed changing inthe relationship, and those changes didn't happen second time round. In the same boat here buddy and thats how I decipher it anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Two things. Probably an other man in the mix Having your mom in the mix is way over the top. No woman is going to take that no matter how they play it off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 I'm shocked there are so many of us in the same situation! It's such a mind ****, felt on top of the world when I got her back and she even told me the break done us good... she saw so many changes in me! I understand my mom shouldn't of got involved, but even after my mom reaching out to fix things.. nothing!? I just hope it isn't for another guy, and she genuinely wants to be alone with her friends Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 Anybody else have any input? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 She has since been in contact with my nan, who she has always been close to. She told my nan she's feels to awkward to reply to my mom's offer of rebuilding the bond they once had, and that she wouldn't know what to say to her if they agreed to meet up. So now what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam5592 Posted June 25, 2017 Author Share Posted June 25, 2017 since my last post, alot of things have came to light. The main thing is, her reasons for breaking up with me were excuses. As 2 weeks after she ended it for a second time, she got with a new guy. They are still together now and apparently are extremely happy. I did the "Corey Wayne" walk away for good, and we haven't spoken a single word since the beginning of April. Guess it was all BS from her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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