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Ex Fiancee Contacted Me Again


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As many of you know, I ended my relationship in November with the girl I was set to marry.

 

Within 4/5 weeks she got in a new relationship and yes it hit me hard but I soon pulled myself together and got on with my life. In mid January she rang me and started crying on the phone and was spilling her heart out to me, the contact soon stopped after I didn't reply the next day and then she never replied when I asked her why did she feel the need to subject me to her emotions because I'm trying to move on?

 

Anyhow last week her mam met my mam randomly in town and they talked as they're still friends (her mam kept saying she has still hopes that I reunite with her daughter etc) and how my mam asked my ex's mam to not let me know hope upset Sarah (my ex) was after our break up.

 

I was out on Monday and I get a random text, Sarah professing how upset she is because she wanted me to know how hurt and broken she was after I broke up with her.

 

So since Monday afternoon, she's been constantly telling me how much she still loves me, how she misses everything, how memories of me keep coming back to her, she even claimed she stalks my social media accounts!

 

This girl is currently in a relationship :confused: I asked her to let me move on even though I still love her so much.

 

Every month she randomly contacts me and messes my feelings/thoughts, just as I seem confident to move on properly she drags me back in. Funnily enough she said on Monday that she would NEVER get back with me (not that I asked her) yet now its a case of she's still madly in love with me and her new partner is nothing more than a stopgap!

 

I really need advice :(

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As many of you know, I ended my relationship in November with the girl I was set to marry.

 

Within 4/5 weeks she got in a new relationship and yes it hit me hard but I soon pulled myself together and got on with my life. In mid January she rang me and started crying on the phone and was spilling her heart out to me, the contact soon stopped after I didn't reply the next day and then she never replied when I asked her why did she feel the need to subject me to her emotions because I'm trying to move on?

 

Anyhow last week her mam met my mam randomly in town and they talked as they're still friends (her mam kept saying she has still hopes that I reunite with her daughter etc) and how my mam asked my ex's mam to not let me know hope upset Sarah (my ex) was after our break up.

 

I was out on Monday and I get a random text, Sarah professing how upset she is because she wanted me to know how hurt and broken she was after I broke up with her.

 

So since Monday afternoon, she's been constantly telling me how much she still loves me, how she misses everything, how memories of me keep coming back to her, she even claimed she stalks my social media accounts!

 

This girl is currently in a relationship :confused: I asked her to let me move on even though I still love her so much.

 

Every month she randomly contacts me and messes my feelings/thoughts, just as I seem confident to move on properly she drags me back in. Funnily enough she said on Monday that she would NEVER get back with me (not that I asked her) yet now its a case of she's still madly in love with me and her new partner is nothing more than a stopgap!

 

I really need advice :(

 

Yeah, she's in a rebound relationship! And, I doubt it's a "relationship". She may be with a guy who isn't taking her seriously and she's stringing herself along. He may not be meeting her needs and she's seeking comfort by going to something that was at least comfortable at one time.

 

If YOU are sure you don't want to be with her, maintain no contact. Don't respond or reach out to her in anyway ever again.

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Thanks for the reply guys.

 

Yeah, I could block her "but" it wouldn't be in my nature to do that because if for argument sake she was ever in serious trouble or someone important died to her I would always be there for her because when my Dad died she picked me up and cared for me and I'll be indebted to her for that.

 

But yeah she kept contacting me, rang me a few times last night and I asked her why she continues to do so? I said Sarah you can't contact me once a month just because you think you're still madly in love with me, you're in a relationship which was your choice even though I know she doesn't want to be with him?

 

He has no idea and I threatened to tell him if she doesn't stop messing people around.

 

Everytime I think I'm getting stronger and moving on from her she reels me back and its so tough because I'm still in love with her......

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Everytime I think I'm getting stronger and moving on from her she reels me back

Only because you let her.

 

If you take control then your feelings won't get messed around with.

 

Your situation is caused by your own actions, and the only way to change the situation is to change your actions. But you've already been told this, several times already in this thread and in previous threads, and you refuse to listen so I'm not sure what else to say.

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Only because you let her.

 

If you take control then your feelings won't get messed around with.

 

Your situation is caused by your own actions, and the only way to change the situation is to change your actions. But you've already been told this, several times already in this thread and in previous threads, and you refuse to listen so I'm not sure what else to say.

 

Which I have done regularly for the past 2 months?

 

I haven't contacted her once in that time, it was her who made the first contact twice?

 

Which is untrue, I've done the whole no contact? I've not looked at her social media accounts? I haven't let myself get down in the dumps over her? I deleted her number, taken down pictures etc?

 

I'm only human, I can't help if the girl I'm in love with with keeps contacting me and I gave a valid reason as to why I wouldn't block her phone number.

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I can't help if the girl I'm in love with with keeps contacting me

Yes you can. Block her.

 

I gave a valid reason as to why I wouldn't block her phone number.

No, you gave an excuse, because you're co-dependent and want the attention she gives you, even though it causes you more and more pain.

 

If you want it to stop then you need to take action. It may be painful at first but in the long run it will be better.

 

But like I said you've been told over and over and refuse to listen, so good luck :)

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You said you ended it with her. What made you break up with her?

 

^^This^^

 

Why would you end it with a girl you are "Still in love with?"

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^^This^^

 

Why would you end it with a girl you are "Still in love with?"

 

Yes this was the first thing that stood out in his initial post.

 

 

The only logical reason would be that he was a victim of the so-called FORCED DUMP.

 

 

In other words, he was officially the dumper but in reality (and by LS terms), he was the dumpee because he was the more invested.

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Reading through your older threads, most of them are the same. You got sick of your ex and ended it, she got a new guy to cope with it and you got upset.

 

What exactly do you want? You say you don't want her back but you keep re-creating the same threads. If you don't want her back why don't you just block and ignore?

 

You seem to be going around in circles with this one and need to do something about it. You dumped her and clearly have feelings for her, if you want her back then go for it. Otherwise you need to stop with the 'new guy' stuff, you broke up with her, she is free to do what she likes. Whatever she is telling you while with this guy is irrelevant, let her deal with that.

 

You need to make a decision, either ignore or just ask her what is her end game?

 

You dumped this girl but you're coming across like a dumpee.

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Reading through your older threads, most of them are the same. You got sick of your ex and ended it, she got a new guy to cope with it and you got upset.

 

What exactly do you want? You say you don't want her back but you keep re-creating the same threads. If you don't want her back why don't you just block and ignore?

 

You seem to be going around in circles with this one and need to do something about it. You dumped her and clearly have feelings for her, if you want her back then go for it. Otherwise you need to stop with the 'new guy' stuff, you broke up with her, she is free to do what she likes. Whatever she is telling you while with this guy is irrelevant, let her deal with that.

 

You need to make a decision, either ignore or just ask her what is her end game?

 

You dumped this girl but you're coming across like a dumpee.

 

 

lol, very true.

 

 

It really is amazing how if the dumpee just walks away and gets on with things, it sends the dumper into a frenzy.

 

 

And in some cases, it even reverses the negative feelings and start to want them back.

 

 

Unless someone cheats or abuses, if the dumpee does what this girl did and just got on with things, the dumper finds themselves in a dilemma of having a hit to the ego but can't really do much since they pulled the trigger on the relationship.

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Thanks for the reply guys.

 

Yeah, I could block her "but" it wouldn't be in my nature to do that because if for argument sake she was ever in serious trouble or someone important died to her I would always be there for her because when my Dad died she picked me up and cared for me and I'll be indebted to her for that.

 

But yeah she kept contacting me, rang me a few times last night and I asked her why she continues to do so? I said Sarah you can't contact me once a month just because you think you're still madly in love with me, you're in a relationship which was your choice even though I know she doesn't want to be with him?

 

He has no idea and I threatened to tell him if she doesn't stop messing people around.

 

Everytime I think I'm getting stronger and moving on from her she reels me back and its so tough because I'm still in love with her......

 

BS, you like the attention

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  • 1 month later...
I'm only human, I can't help if the girl I'm in love with with keeps contacting me and I gave a valid reason as to why I wouldn't block her phone number.

 

Why, why, why would you break up with a girl you're still in love with? Coming from someone whose fiance broke up with me last week, I just do not understand this at all.

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Why, why, why would you break up with a girl you're still in love with? Coming from someone whose fiance broke up with me last week, I just do not understand this at all.

 

 

Read his other threads... the woman kept nagging and pushing him and he couldn't see dealing with it the rest of his life.

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