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Here we go again...


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So, after a rough 27 years, my ex and I have been split for three months now, we have two kids 16/25, and she just moved out one day and said she was done.

 

Last weekend, we went to the beach together, I'd brought a sleeping bag so she could have the bed and not be uncomfortable, I took her to dinner, we had a couple of movies to watch, so we did.

 

First movie down, I don't even remember it, we laughed, we smiled, we shred the bed because we were "Adults". Then it happened, sex. I have lost 70 pounds, I'm in a waaay beter place emotionally, so what used to be lousy between us, was spectacular. from an old average of ten minutes, to three hours. I'd say I'm healthier emotionally and physically.

 

I'm 44, she's 42.... She then stayed the next two nights at my home, everything she owns is still here too. We watched movies, we cuddled, we kissed and held hands. It all felt pretty good. She was going to stay another night, but she had an early appointment the next day, and her current residence is an hour north. so she left.

 

Then, I went to work. I've had a POF account for a month or better, but I'm hidden, I wasn't ready to date, and I didn't want all of the spam and bs that comes from that site. I still flick through occasionally, found and reunited with a couple of friends there. But then, there she was, "I want to find that special someone to enjoy life with and pursue happiness"...

 

Talk about being blindsided. I asked her why, and she said she was just looking for new friends. At which time I pointed out that you don't say things like "Looking for someone special" when you're looking for friends.

 

She was supposed to come over this weekend, but I made myself unavailable, but she's coming over this week and staying a couple of nights to work on her old car.

 

We have a long history of playing games at times, it doesn't happen in the relationship, but when we're broken up, it's hell. It's all about the games.

 

We have kids, all of her mail comes here, and I still pay all of the bills and she gives back her share.

 

So. What now? I want her back, I'm a much better person, and she's commented that. Better in "Many ways" she says, :laugh:

 

So. what in the heck is she waiting for?

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well it seems youre still very connected and entangled even if youve been apart, such as bills, assets, sleep overs

 

when a separation occurs its best imo to disconnect absolute everything, but i know you cant fully because of the kids

 

meanwhile youve gone out improved yourself, she can see the massive change and is attracted to it, but youre feeling "hey now its all fixed, lets dive straight back into the way it was before"

 

shes trying to move forward and in a way your probably not. this also gives her an advantage because she still has you on a leash and she can now roam around and do whatever at the same time

 

for you i think you need to storm ahead, stop all the wanting of her, become indifferent and yes shut her down and be busy doing other things.

 

until your a challenge that she hasnt conquered and doesnt have a grip on, then youll never see her pleading for you to take her back

 

keep progressing to a seperated future and ignore her existence for a long period because that what she is doing to you and just getting a fix inbetween (sex)

 

try to disconnected her presence from your life too (bills, dinners) and date someone new

 

just my wacky thoughts anyway

 

girls like to be fed a little bit of the buscuit, they go away with it then come back, if your constantly offering the whole buscuit then youre easy to get and they get over fed and dont really want you for long long times.

 

just like eating to much of your favourite ice cream too much, you get sick of it. lol :)

Edited by freddy2017
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