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Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 11th January 2017, 3:26 PM   #31
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But I feel like I was too needy. It is not sustainable to have the same level of texting as at the beginning of the relationship and he apologized about being too busy to text all the time (he still texted me few times a day). It took me two break ups to accept that this was the new level of communication. And the third break up happened when he didnt text me for the entire day. I can't stop blaming myself.
I cant decided if he was losing interest or I was too childish.
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Old 11th January 2017, 3:36 PM   #32
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But I feel like I was too needy. It is not sustainable to have the same level of texting as at the beginning of the relationship and he apologized about being too busy to text all the time (he still texted me few times a day). It took me two break ups to accept that this was the new level of communication. And the third break up happened when he didnt text me for the entire day. I can't stop blaming myself.
I cant decided if he was losing interest or I was too childish.
I read your past post about how your relationship evolved. He was not that invested in it. Often the word/excuse "busy" is used to create a comfortable enough distance for a person to manage the relationship on their terms. You mentioned him seeing you on a regular basis which was every 2 months? That's not regular basis!! I don't believe he was truly emotionally invested. When it starts to become hot and cold, push and pull, you get out. You don't break up to provoke change from the other. It doesn't change the situation nor does it change who he is. All it does is create more anxiety within yourself but worse off, you will start to lose all sense of boundaries and self-respect.

When it's important to someone they'll find every which way to make it work. When it isn't, they won't. He's showing you and he's shown you more than once.

Stop chasing him.
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Old 11th January 2017, 3:46 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by Zahara View Post
I read your past post about how your relationship evolved. He was not that invested in it. Often the word/excuse "busy" is used to create a comfortable enough distance for a person to manage the relationship on their terms. You mentioned him seeing you on a regular basis which was every 2 months? That's not regular basis!! I don't believe he was truly emotionally invested. When it starts to become hot and cold, push and pull, you get out. You don't break up to provoke change from the other. It doesn't change the situation nor does it change who he is. All it does is create more anxiety within yourself but worse off, you will start to lose all sense of boundaries and self-respect.

When it's important to someone they'll find every which way to make it work. When it isn't, they won't. He's showing you and he's shown you more than once.

Stop chasing him.
We live 2000 miles apart, we cant see each other more often than that. I am in school, plus I work and cant afford to take a week long vacation every month. He was the one who planned all the trips and offered to fly to my city to see me (every single time, but few times I opted to go somewhere instead). He also offered to pay all the expenses for the trips in the future when my school becomes more intense (I wont have the time to work). That gave me the impression that he was invested. But maybe, he realized that doing that for the next two years is not possible. Or lost whatever feelings he had.
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Old 11th January 2017, 4:18 PM   #34
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We live 2000 miles apart, we cant see each other more often than that. I am in school, plus I work and cant afford to take a week long vacation every month. He was the one who planned all the trips and offered to fly to my city to see me (every single time, but few times I opted to go somewhere instead). He also offered to pay all the expenses for the trips in the future when my school becomes more intense (I wont have the time to work). That gave me the impression that he was invested. But maybe, he realized that doing that for the next two years is not possible. Or lost whatever feelings he had.
The beginnings of romance is always exciting. People feel that they can do just about anything because they're blinded by those intense feelings of newness. Then the reality sets in. The burden of fulfilling another person's expectations start to set in. The realization that it's too difficult to maintain when distance is such a barrier.

Whether he's lost his feelings or accepted that it's just too much to handle, you truly need to be realistic and maturely rationalize ("love" aside) if this a situation worth chasing and how/if it can fulfill you. Yes it hurts to let go but it would be time to look at this with unemotional eyes. Do you really want to be with a man that can only see you once every 2 months?
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Old 11th January 2017, 4:31 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Zahara View Post
The beginnings of romance is always exciting. People feel that they can do just about anything because they're blinded by those intense feelings of newness. Then the reality sets in. The burden of fulfilling another person's expectations start to set in. The realization that it's too difficult to maintain when distance is such a barrier.

Whether he's lost his feelings or accepted that it's just too much to handle, you truly need to be realistic and maturely rationalize ("love" aside) if this a situation worth chasing and how/if it can fulfill you. Yes it hurts to let go but it would be time to look at this with unemotional eyes. Do you really want to be with a man that can only see you once every 2 months?
Long distance is hard
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