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Love of my life broke my heart after 4 years


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Hi everyone

It's been 2 weeks since break up now, I feel much pain and can't stop missing her.

So,I'm 24, she is 25, everything started when we were studying abroad,we are both foreigners from different country and we used to live in the same dorm. She fell in love with me and kept following me until she got me.

I always loved the way she loved me, it's true I took this for granted but I was also much grateful and loving her back in my own way.

I wasn't much romantic to get her flowers all the time etc, but was really passionate physically and put her number 1 in mylife.

She was my everything, she used to tell me if she is ever gonna die, she won't be afraid of death it myself but of losing me.

She had her own fears of future and always used to panic that we might lose each other in the end.

I devoted myself to her, I imagined my future with her, we worked well both of us and decided to rent a bigger flat and get a big bed together.

So we moved in to a new flat in July this year, I started to feel that she is changing in September.

She was exchanging emails with some guy from work. She started to keep distance between us . I tried to stop her from exchanging emails for 3 months , until she stopped at one point then started to attack me that the other guy isn't texting her anymore and it's all my fault.

2 weeks ago he sent her an email, she became much excited, she told me she loves this guy and can't live without him, and she doesn't love me anymore.

She broke up with me on that day,I asked her if she wants to move out or if I should move out. She said she is going to move out at the end of the month.

I'm staying at my friend's place until she moves out. She is even taking some of the furniture to her new flat.

I tried begging her for 2 days after break up to undo it,she said she is happier more than ever now and sorry but we won't be back together.

I'm still much in love with her, I might not be able to get over her.i wish until now that she would realize how important our relationship is and how we went through a lot of difficulties together but we still could over come it.

I hope she comes back to me, I hope she loves me again.

What are my chances? Help me please

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You did the usual begging and pleading, which is normal in my opinion. And she found someone that is new and exciting, also happens in a long relationship. She may have gotten bored and things may have gotten stale.

 

Start no contact and if she messages you, just let her know that you don't think being friends right now is the best and maybe in the future. But you can't keep talking to her until you heal more and STAY OUT OF THE PICTURE. Don't text her, don't respond to anything. You have to move on, this is the best way to get her back. Find yourself again. It sounds like you became very emotionally dependent on this person. Find your happiness again. Go out and do things you enjoy and express yourself through some music, dance, exercise, etc. You need to become a confident, self-respected guy again. She won't want to get back with someone that is messed up after a break up. Even if she texts you that her new relationship is not going well, do not respond.

 

New relationships after breaking up rarely succeed. And you will only help the new relationship succeed if you are there for her emotionally. I suggest reading "reverse psychology and rebounds." This is going to be really hard. RESIST THE URGE TO TALK TO HER. Smack yourself. Go out for a run. Throw your phone in the corner. Give your phone to your friend. Anything but contacting them, you will only hurt yourself more. Trust me, there isn't anything she will say that will help you heal right now.

 

FIND YOURSELF. GET YOUR CONFIDENCE BACK. ALL ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. And maybe in a couple weeks, when you can look at the old relationship, look at your mistakes. Look at her mistakes. Forgive both yourself and her for these mistakes. If she does come back, do you want to be in a state of mind where you will do anything to have her back? NO! NO! She has to fix herself to want you back, for putting you through all this pain, and mend what was broken. It takes two to tango. Trying to reconcile is a whole other issue that will need another thread haha.

 

But you get the idea. Focus on yourself, and only yourself right now. Go out on some dates when you feel ready, nothing serious, to figure out what you want out of a relationship and get your confidence back as well. She may very well never come back, but the focus is making yourself the best that you can be if she does come back. Honestly, this is the best way to get your ex to come back. Begging pushes away. Talking to her pushes away. Giving her space gives her time to think about all the good she had with you. Becoming the best you gives her the idea that things will be amazing with you again. And by the end of it all, maybe in a few months, you may be able to think that there is someone better out there who will love to be with you. Who knows?

 

This is a lot digest, so take it one at a time. I'm sorry for your break up. I am currently almost 4 weeks out a break up so I understand your pain.

 

Best wishes,

-WhatDEWWWWW

Edited by whatdeww18
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Thank you for you reply and supportive words.

I stopped contacting her 2 weeks ago. We only discussed about furniture briefly in msgs.

She is moving some of my furniture to her new apartment.

I went today to pick up some stuff while she is at work.

I saw some magazine and stuff about a trip to Hawaii!

She is already planning to travel on new year with her new guy! I couldn't believe it!

I felt like fainting and started crying unstoppable.

I hardly pulled myself out of the flat.

I know we already broke up, but I just still can't imagine that she is acting like whatever and already much involved in her new relationship!

I'm following NC and I'm not planning to talk to her anytime soon.

But I just wish she figures out her feelings and regret losing me.

She was much in love with me all these years! I can't just believe she can walk away easily like this.

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So....why did you have to move out....she being the breaker / cheater should have been kicked out. More than that, how is it that she is moving your furniture to her place....if you gave her permission, you need to change that, you owe her nothing and this will only make you look weaker to her....step it up and stand up for yourself here. You owe it to yourself.

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Thank you for your reply

Well, since we are both foreigners here, I know she has no where to go.

But I do. Maybe I'm just acting gentle with her.

When I was staying at home together after break up. It was much painful.

I was hurt at night. Not breathing well and she would be like please stay quite I'm trying to sleep. She was acting much cold and harmful.

So I knew if I want to get stronger I should leave.

About furniture we got them together, so technically she has right in taking some.

She is just acting like stranger now with me. Talks casually in msgs. And she is like already belong to her new guy now.

I just can't believe how she become.

I've always treated her like a queen. Now she is acting as if revenging me for staying with me all these years. And that explains putting the Hawaii trip magazine when I agreed to get some stuff from home.

She is like look at me, I could do much better!

Even her posts on FB are like oh I'm so happy and stuff.

The thing is that I got her the job she is in now. I helped her stand on her feet.

And she cheated on me with sb she met in her current job. So I feel much betrayed and hurt.

Don't know if I can ever over come it. It's ****ing painful.

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Of course! Glad I can help and I'm no relationship expert, just from what I've been able to read on successful people and my own experience.

 

1. DO NOT THINK OF WHAT SHE THINKS, DOES, WILL DO. The pain of a break up and being dumped are the thoughts of the future and what you could have done with this person.

 

2. Unfriend or block her on Facebook. Why are you checking what she posts? DA F? You cannot be friends with an ex after they break up with you, most of the times. It hurts too much. I highly recommend unfriending or blocking, unfollowing still tempted me to check.

 

3. Any time you think of her, tell yourself, "she wanted to walk out of my life, LET HER F'ING GO!"

 

4. Seriously, this time is all about you. You're still only 2 weeks post break up so take some time to grieve. It's normal and completely healthy. The first month sucks but for me, I got rid of the idea that my ex will come back. Even if people tell me he will, I block it out. What will that idea except block my healing? This has helped me tremendously and I'm slowly moving on. If my ex comes back, well he's got a lot of explaining to do and how he will gain my trust back. If not, even better. Rather not go through that headache of trying to get back together.

 

5. Seriously, don't think of what she thinks or if she misses you or what she will be doing. It don't matter. You are broken up. IT'S FINAL. Done. This is all about you and making the most of your young life. Go get them straight A's if you're in school, go to the gym and get ready for that summer body.

 

6. Use your emotions to drive you. If you're sad, don't feel bad if you just want to watch some shows and eat. If you can't eat, it's okay. Give it some time but do try to get something in. If you're mad go run and use your anger to run as far and fast as you can. Do things productive with your emotions to get them out. Don't hold them in.

 

Wishing you a speedy recovery :)

-WhatDEWWWWW

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She isn't the 'love of your life.'

 

She's someone you have loved, but eventually you will be over her, and there will be someone else to love. There will be someone else to love you.

 

She is just part of one chapter in the book of your life.

 

 

Take care.

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Hi everyone

It's been 2 weeks since break up now, I feel much pain and can't stop missing her.

So,I'm 24, she is 25, everything started when we were studying abroad,we are both foreigners from different country and we used to live in the same dorm. She fell in love with me and kept following me until she got me.

I always loved the way she loved me, it's true I took this for granted but I was also much grateful and loving her back in my own way.

I wasn't much romantic to get her flowers all the time etc, but was really passionate physically and put her number 1 in mylife.

She was my everything, she used to tell me if she is ever gonna die, she won't be afraid of death it myself but of losing me.

She had her own fears of future and always used to panic that we might lose each other in the end.

I devoted myself to her, I imagined my future with her, we worked well both of us and decided to rent a bigger flat and get a big bed together.

So we moved in to a new flat in July this year, I started to feel that she is changing in September.

She was exchanging emails with some guy from work. She started to keep distance between us . I tried to stop her from exchanging emails for 3 months , until she stopped at one point then started to attack me that the other guy isn't texting her anymore and it's all my fault.

2 weeks ago he sent her an email, she became much excited, she told me she loves this guy and can't live without him, and she doesn't love me anymore.

She broke up with me on that day,I asked her if she wants to move out or if I should move out. She said she is going to move out at the end of the month.

I'm staying at my friend's place until she moves out. She is even taking some of the furniture to her new flat.

I tried begging her for 2 days after break up to undo it,she said she is happier more than ever now and sorry but we won't be back together.

I'm still much in love with her, I might not be able to get over her.i wish until now that she would realize how important our relationship is and how we went through a lot of difficulties together but we still could over come it.

I hope she comes back to me, I hope she loves me again.

What are my chances? Help me please

 

 

I dont want you to make the mistakes i have man. i made a thread today about my ex as well, just trying to finally get over her, when it hit me like a bullet today. it was always up to me. i've been in a crazy break up myself and here i am almost 2 years later in a conundrum. not anymore though.

 

im 24 as well. that means we have so much more to learn and to offer the world. ofc you loved your girl and would do anything to be with her. now tell me this, does she feel the same. im sorry she doesnt and thats why your broken up, i learnt the hard way and as a man you need to do this after a break up, and that is be a man.

 

accept that its over and do what you gotta do for you. block her, do this so she cant hit u up for stupid things and take u on an emotional ride. get living a bit man. your 24. do the things u love get busy. hit the gym hit your sports, go out with your boys or by yourself. talk to some people meet new girls and just grow friendly relations.

 

im telling you this because its what i shouldve done but i didnt. i sulked and felt sorry for my self and wasted nearly 2 very valuable years of my life. i dont want this for u.

 

if she loves you and wants to be with you your a phone call away. but why should you put your life on hold for a girl that doesnt want to be with you. you will be fine man. dont let this woman break u like this please i beg you. i know what its like.

 

only you can take yourself forward so please ry. leave her in the past and like i said if she really wants to be with you its not difficult.

 

live your life man. its the holidays , so many beautiful people out there thats cheerful and happy. go mingle with them. please. lol do it for me aite. cheers!

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Thank you all for for reply.

You are all right about blocking her and move on and stuff.

But I'm still stuck. I mean 4 years of love and happy memories comparing to 3 months of suffering to get her back then break up.

She has done this before that's why I thought she would also come back this time.

After 1 year of our relationship she wanted to finish her master course back in her country, I begged her not to go and stay with me. She said nth will stand in my way and left.

She kept crying in the plane and called me when she arrived to come back and she can't live without me etc.. It took us 8 months to get her visa again and she run away from her parents to come to me.

In the plane when coming she met a guy and they exchanged FB, he kept contacting her for almost a week and she even went out with him.

She did all this behind my back, she was distanced for a week from me since her arrival. She said she needs time.

Then she later came back crying and said she made a mistake and she loves me the most and can't live without me.

When the other guy tried to kiss her, she run away and she knew she only loves me. She promised she won't do it again and was crying a lot for forgiveness.

I'm trying to think about it as similar to what happened now, I even told her at one point that you might regret it like last time. She said this time I have feeling for the other person and not for you anymore.

I know I shouldn't be waiting and hoping but I know how she is, no one can stop her when she wants to do sth.

That's why she broke up with me not to stand in her way.

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The new RS is very shiny to her right now. It will fade! She is moving so fast (to you) because she has already grieved the loss of your RS (probably while you were still together).

 

Good news: You will survive. You will recover. You will love again. Give it time. In the meantime, don't waste any more time. Get out there and enjoy your life. With friends. Solo. Whatever. You don't need a romantic partner. In fact, I might suggest staying away from that whole idea for a while.

 

Work on yourself for a bit! The first thing you might work on is understanding why this is an absolutely terrible statement: put her number 1 in my life.

Edited by mtnbiker3000
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montie1 and whatdeww18 had really good advice, I seriously recommend you listen. They provided you with the most honest and helpful advice you can ask for right now.

 

There is only one thing I would add to what they said and it's probably the toughest pill to swallow. You are not going to be ok for a very long time and that's just the truth. You loved her and still do and to see her throw you away makes you feel like nothing, like everything you did together was for nothing.

 

I'm 25, but when I was 21 I dated the only girl I've ever thought about marrying. When she broke up with me I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I drank all the time, and just picked up many bad habits. But over the last few years I got in the best shape of my life, picked up hobbies, finished undergrad, got accepted into grad school, etc. And guess who hits me up all the time now that she see's how good off I am without her??

 

I need you to understand that this new relationship she is in isn't going to last so don't worry about it even as sick as it makes you feel (and trust me I know how it feels to see them with someone new).

 

So after you sort out all the housing issues, cut complete contact with her please. The reason it took me years to finally feel ok is because I let her creep into my life whenever she wanted because I thought by keeping in touch with her I could make her miss me. But in reality, she was using me to talk to when she felt lonely because she knew I was the chump who would come crawling back with a snap of her fingers. When you cut her out of your life, that's when she will really miss you.

 

Let me tell you something about social media too. You already know it's bad to check up on her, but you also already know she's dating someone. In my case I checked hers all the time to see what guys were liking her pics and commenting to find out who my ex was dating. Turns out she was dating a guy who wasn't even on her fb or insta. So tell me what torturing myself by checking everyday was for? Nothing...

 

whatdeww18 told you that your only chance of ever getting her back is completely cutting her out of you life. When two people break up, one person made a conscious decision that they didn't want you in their life anymore, nothing more nothing less. Now you have the chance to improve yourself in every aspect. And if she comes back to you, YOU get to make the decision if you want her back.

 

But here's the rub, after at least a year (and nothing less) of REAL NC and REAL IMPROVING YOURSELF , you might not even want her back despite how much you think you do now.

 

So you have to make the decision, do you want to hurt for a short amount of time, or keep in contact with her and hurt for years.

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You all have a point.

I should cut her off my life completely.

I feel I've been much used by her.

She has problem in commitment and loyalty.

She run away from her parents and never wants to speak to them, she hates them. She had lack of emotions mostly Family emotions I tried to spoil her and treated her like little princess . I wanted to make up for her. I made all my decisions in the past 4 years up to her.

Moved our twice, got furniture she wanted for our new place. And everything like she wanted. We weren't married but she was acting like the wife and the once to decide everything and o had no problem with that.

I always knew how much she loved me, when I first met her she was with some rich guy from embassy! She said she never loved him and he never really loved her. Though 1 week before breaking up with him, he had paid for her eyes surgery almost $5,000. Then she left him cause she fell in love with me.

I though she cares about real love not about money. I was impressed with her.

So I was always thankful for that.

When she started falling in love with the new guy she started complaint about our apartment then about bills then about that I don't make enough money. I was much hurt but I said maybe she will change.

But instead she broke up with me and chose the stable new guy.

Btw he is 38 years old, lives with his family and much ugly I think never been with a girl before. Plus he doesn't spend any of his money. He eats anything for $1 a day.

I don't know how she could leave me for him!! And I was the one to help her stand on her feet and support her emotionally and make her value herself.(her parents used to always make her feel life nobody according to what she said).

She was always much clingy to me , liked to control where I go and with who.

If I'm sick she would cry and call ambulance.

There are really many details that make everything happening now unbelievable to me.

Sorry for talking a lot.

I know I have to face the new change and adapt to it.

I decided to also move out cause whenever I go back to that house I feel like collapsing.

I have to stand it at least for 2 months though! Until I get enough money.

I really appreciate all of your support. I feel a bit better.

Thank you all.

Always waiting for your replies.

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You all have a point.

I should cut her off my life completely.

I feel I've been much used by her.

She has problem in commitment and loyalty.

She run away from her parents and never wants to speak to them, she hates them. She had lack of emotions mostly Family emotions I tried to spoil her and treated her like little princess . I wanted to make up for her. I made all my decisions in the past 4 years up to her.

Moved our twice, got furniture she wanted for our new place. And everything like she wanted. We weren't married but she was acting like the wife and the once to decide everything and o had no problem with that.

I always knew how much she loved me, when I first met her she was with some rich guy from embassy! She said she never loved him and he never really loved her. Though 1 week before breaking up with him, he had paid for her eyes surgery almost $5,000. Then she left him cause she fell in love with me.

I though she cares about real love not about money. I was impressed with her.

So I was always thankful for that.

When she started falling in love with the new guy she started complaint about our apartment then about bills then about that I don't make enough money. I was much hurt but I said maybe she will change.

But instead she broke up with me and chose the stable new guy.

Btw he is 38 years old, lives with his family and much ugly I think never been with a girl before. Plus he doesn't spend any of his money. He eats anything for $1 a day.

I don't know how she could leave me for him!! And I was the one to help her stand on her feet and support her emotionally and make her value herself.(her parents used to always make her feel life nobody according to what she said).

She was always much clingy to me , liked to control where I go and with who.

If I'm sick she would cry and call ambulance.

There are really many details that make everything happening now unbelievable to me.

Sorry for talking a lot.

I know I have to face the new change and adapt to it.

I decided to also move out cause whenever I go back to that house I feel like collapsing.

I have to stand it at least for 2 months though! Until I get enough money.

I really appreciate all of your support. I feel a bit better.

Thank you all.

Always waiting for your replies.

 

Histrionic personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called "Cluster B" or "dramatic" personality disorders. People with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions and distorted self-images. For people with histrionic personality disorder, their self-esteem depends on the approval of others and does not arise from a true feeling of self-worth. They have an overwhelming desire to be noticed, and often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention. The word histrionic means "dramatic or theatrical."

 

A person with this disorder might also:

 

  • Be uncomfortable unless he or she is the center of attention
  • Dress provocatively and/or exhibit inappropriately seductive or flirtatious behavior
  • Shift emotions rapidly
  • Act very dramatically, as though performing before an audience, with exaggerated emotions and expressions, yet appears to lack sincerity
  • Be overly concerned with physical appearance
  • Constantly seek reassurance or approval
  • Be gullible and easily influenced by others
  • Be excessively sensitive to criticism or disapproval
  • Have a low tolerance for frustration and be easily bored by routine, often beginning projects without finishing them or skipping from one event to another
  • Not think before acting
  • Make rash decisions
  • Be self-centered and rarely show concern for others
  • Have difficulty maintaining relationships, often seeming fake or shallow in their dealings with others
  • Threaten or attempt suicide to get attention

 

 

Looks like we got a winner her

 

Hope this puts a little more clearity to whats going on. Im not saying she is a HPD, but she shows the traits of a cluster B type personailty thats the kissing cousins to BPD or NPD. They are basically disorders that keep people from having a true bond with people. They lack empathy and have a hard time seeing perspectives from other peoples view.. example: they dont understand why she cant hangout with a lot of men, yet gets angry if you talk to one girl.

 

The lack of self worth drives them to connect with new ppl very well and the value of that person drops because they need a "constant" supply of novelty or fun or entertainment. "EX: when they meet new people they are very bubbly and nice"

 

Its a high functioning disorder.. so people who have it... dont realize they have it. Also, deep relationship may only trigger the disorder.

 

 

 

 

I wouldnt doubt you felt nothing was never enough for her.

 

A lesson you need to learn is to value your self more... imagine what you could have done with all that money if you invested in you.

Edited by Sweetfish
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There are much points mentioned that describes her.

I remember when she first talked to that guy , she was telling me it's not serious just enjoying the attention.

And when this attention stopped she attacked me and became hysterical about it.

Though there is one point that isn't true, she is much unsocial, she can't talk to people normally. She was always impressed with my charisma when I speak to other people. Sometimes when we meet people for first time and I speak much to them and give them much attention she becomes offended and attack me that I was ignoring her and giving more attention to people i don't know instead of her.

She always takes rush decisions and usually regrets later. For Ex. I tried to convince her in the airport to keep her residence card before she travelled back for the first time but she attacked and let it go then said she should have listened to me before.

Plus she never threatens to kill herself for anything, she loves herself much and devotes everything for her sake only.

She is much determined and when she gets interested in sth, she follows it until the end.. She could achieve many things she worked for even some times it took her a year or more.

She has much pride and once sb underestimated her at work. She never spoke back to her though the other girl prepared her a birthday party to make up. But she looked at her with hatred and never accepted any presents or any apology.

I always saw how cold hearted she can be with others but never seen it happening to me one day.

I feel now she would enjoy seeing me hurt, so I'm posting only optimistic stuff.

I checked all info about the HPD and Clustry B, unfortunately her personality matches More The NPD. It explains a lot of what she did!

I really need help here to get her out of my head. She has been controlling me for long time.

Help please

and thanks everyone for your support , I really appreciate it

Edited by Little love
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There are much points mentioned that describes her.

I remember when she first talked to that guy , she was telling me it's not serious just enjoying the attention.

And when this attention stopped she attacked me and became hysterical about it.

Though there is one point that isn't true, she is much unsocial, she can't talk to people normally. She was always impressed with my charisma when I speak to other people. Sometimes when we meet people for first time and I speak much to them and give them much attention she becomes offended and attack me that I was ignoring her and giving more attention to people i don't know instead of her.

She always takes rush decisions and usually regrets later. For Ex. I tried to convince her in the airport to keep her residence card before she travelled back for the first time but she attacked and let it go then said she should have listened to me before.

Plus she never threatens to kill herself for anything, she loves herself much and devotes everything for her sake only.

She is much determined and when she gets interested in sth, she follows it until the end.. She could achieve many things she worked for even some times it took her a year or more.

She has much pride and once sb underestimated her at work. She never spoke back to her though the other girl prepared her a birthday party to make up. But she looked at her with hatred and never accepted any presents or any apology.

I always saw how cold hearted she can be with others but never seen it happening to me one day.

I feel now she would enjoy seeing me hurt, so I'm posting only optimistic stuff.

I checked all info about the HPD and Clustry B, unfortunately her personality matches More The NPD. It explains a lot of what she did!

I really need help here to get her out of my head. She has been controlling me for long time.

Help please

and thanks everyone for your support , I really appreciate it

 

 

I think you are having a better picture of who she really is now that you are broken up and hearing stories from other people. I'm sorry to say it but your ex is not a nice person, she actually is very mean and you need to remember that. The problem is you are still in love with her, but remember what she really is and don't give her sympathy.

 

You want our help in this time and there is always going to be someone on here to talk, but like I said you need to understand that moving on is going to take a long time. You can make it shorter by not talking to her and by not looking at her social media.

 

We can tell you our stories and give you advice, but we can't hold your hand and walk you through this break up. It is up to you to take the advice and make it work.

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There are much points mentioned that describes her.

I remember when she first talked to that guy , she was telling me it's not serious just enjoying the attention.

And when this attention stopped she attacked me and became hysterical about it.

Though there is one point that isn't true, she is much unsocial, she can't talk to people normally. She was always impressed with my charisma when I speak to other people. Sometimes when we meet people for first time and I speak much to them and give them much attention she becomes offended and attack me that I was ignoring her and giving more attention to people i don't know instead of her.

She always takes rush decisions and usually regrets later. For Ex. I tried to convince her in the airport to keep her residence card before she travelled back for the first time but she attacked and let it go then said she should have listened to me before.

Plus she never threatens to kill herself for anything, she loves herself much and devotes everything for her sake only.

She is much determined and when she gets interested in sth, she follows it until the end.. She could achieve many things she worked for even some times it took her a year or more.

She has much pride and once sb underestimated her at work. She never spoke back to her though the other girl prepared her a birthday party to make up. But she looked at her with hatred and never accepted any presents or any apology.

I always saw how cold hearted she can be with others but never seen it happening to me one day.

I feel now she would enjoy seeing me hurt, so I'm posting only optimistic stuff.

I checked all info about the HPD and Clustry B, unfortunately her personality matches More The NPD. It explains a lot of what she did!

I really need help here to get her out of my head. She has been controlling me for long time.

Help please

and thanks everyone for your support , I really appreciate it

 

No one should control you. Realistically you will think about her a lot. You can go out get laid 1000 times and she'll still be there in your head. But trust me. In a few months things will be different. What i would urge u to do is something that you will not regret now. Use this time to recover wisely. Your emotions will be running while. So dont do things that you will fail in. Put your attention on yourself or some project yhat will keep you occupied.

 

The gym will never dissapoint you. Yes u will still think of her but guess what . you wont be wasting the time. Instead youll be getting into shape. Looking good. Effort into yourself will no go to waste. I guarantee you this. So after a few months when your over her you wont be regretful and say you wated those time on her.

 

I know it hurts. Youll be angry, sad, hurt and depressed. Don't fight it. Accept it take in all those emotions. This will help u Grow and develop.

 

I've been where u been and I was crazy

Losing my ****. Missing her. Reading threads after threads. Wanted her back so bad but when I let go I grew. I was dating a model recently man. Talk about a step up. My ex use to lose her **** calling all my friends tryna know my business and trying to pull me back in an emotionally mess at that same time.

 

What I first told u still stand. Block her and take a breather. You need it.

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I have unfollowed her on FB

But still check from time to time

She had posted photos for illumination with him

I felt like saficating and fainting

I can't believe how sick she is, she is enjoying teasing me

All I did is that I loved her, and she is enjoying torturing me without blinking

I've been reading about the NPD and I found out she is narcissistic.

I'm gonna block her on FB

Not gonna let her manipulate my feelings anymore

I just can't believe how she become

It's much painfully unbelievable ?

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I want to add update

So she moved out on Dec 31st. She sent me long email on how she wishes me happiness and luck and that she would keep our dream in the corner of her heart then wished me happy new year and happy upcoming birthday.

I felt much broken cause I thought I was giving her enough time to think about us and maybe give us another chance. But she didn't. She moved out to a new flat and started a new love.

I answered her with 3 words "rest in peace" then blocked her on FB.

Couldn't stay friends with her and watch her posts about her new love anymore.

I cried a lot then entered house and saw she left me Christmas present on the table.

I felt confused, I thought if she really cares about me then why did she break my heart?

She didn't try to contact me in another way after I have blocked her on FB.

I still miss her and see her in my dreams. I'm trying to move on but it really seems hard to do after all this long time.

I wish she would contact me one day and regrets breaking up with me.

What do you think my options are?

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I want to add update

So she moved out on Dec 31st. She sent me long email on how she wishes me happiness and luck and that she would keep our dream in the corner of her heart then wished me happy new year and happy upcoming birthday.

I felt much broken cause I thought I was giving her enough time to think about us and maybe give us another chance. But she didn't. She moved out to a new flat and started a new love.

I answered her with 3 words "rest in peace" then blocked her on FB.

Couldn't stay friends with her and watch her posts about her new love anymore.

I cried a lot then entered house and saw she left me Christmas present on the table.

I felt confused, I thought if she really cares about me then why did she break my heart?

She didn't try to contact me in another way after I have blocked her on FB.

I still miss her and see her in my dreams. I'm trying to move on but it really seems hard to do after all this long time.

I wish she would contact me one day and regrets breaking up with me.

What do you think my options are?

 

 

Finding a women who cares about you.

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Options

 

Move on

Put yourself first

Be happy

Find someone better who wants you for who you are

Accomplish goals you couldn't before

Take better care of you

Live life

Less stress watching her like a puppy dog and making decisions for her

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  • 3 weeks later...
EveryWomanJ2911

Breakups are hard. I am sorry that things ended the way they did for you friend. Significant relationships ending are like a divorce because they are the death of a relationship in your life. And its one of the most challenging relationships to heal from when we have invested so much of ourselves into it and another person, whom we thought we could trust with our inner most vulnerable self. So, it will take a good amount of time to heal. I regret to say that there is no real short cut friend. However, there is still a solid hope for a good life for you, romantically speaking. You can take this time in your life to really discover what you find to be important to you, and in a close friend. Once you really boil things down to what truly matters to you, you'll begin to see what the person you are going to be happy with in life will "look like," only instead of searching with just your eyes...you can search with your wisdom and values as you move forward. What do you believe about life? What do you hope to gain from a loving relationship with another person who shares your values and beliefs? Maybe if you look at things this way you can see that this person who is now gone is a blessing, and that the new direction your life is taking is not meant for disaster but for hope for you. Praying for you and many blessings on your new walk in life friend :)

 

~Grace and Peace!

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I checked all info about the HPD and Clustry B, unfortunately her personality matches More The NPD. It explains a lot of what she did!
Little, I'm glad to see that Sweetfish brought NPD and the other "Cluster B Disorders" to your attention. I agree with you that you're describing classic warning signs for NPD. I also agree with Sweetfish that you're describing several HPD (Histrionic PD) traits.

 

I mention this because Sweetfish came very close to describing NPD symptoms -- likely much closer than you may realize. NPD and HPD traits overlap to such a great extent that members of the American Psychiatric Association came very close to consolidating those two categories in late 2012, when they voted to approve the new diagnostic manual (DSM-5).

 

That is, the APA came close to eliminating the HPD category and folding it into NPD. They likely will do so in the next revision of the DSM, after more empirical research has been done. They seem to be on track to reduce the 10 personality disorders to only 6. This is why I generally regard HPD not as a "disorder" but, rather, a subset of NPD.

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Little, I'm glad to see that Sweetfish brought NPD and the other "Cluster B Disorders" to your attention. I agree with you that you're describing classic warning signs for NPD. I also agree with Sweetfish that you're describing several HPD (Histrionic PD) traits.

 

I mention this because Sweetfish came very close to describing NPD symptoms -- likely much closer than you may realize. NPD and HPD traits overlap to such a great extent that members of the American Psychiatric Association came very close to consolidating those two categories in late 2012, when they voted to approve the new diagnostic manual (DSM-5).

 

That is, the APA came close to eliminating the HPD category and folding it into NPD. They likely will do so in the next revision of the DSM, after more empirical research has been done. They seem to be on track to reduce the 10 personality disorders to only 6. This is why I generally regard HPD not as a "disorder" but, rather, a subset of NPD.

 

I absolutely agree. They simply took a disorder and classified it into two or three divisions. But the apple doesnt fall far from the tree.

 

I learned of HPD as I saw people with BPD/NPD traits... but it had a slight twist or difference to it. Like the person was friendly and bubbly and cares for others... but that in essence it was the disorder or should i say it hides the disorder and the black and white thinking can trigger months or years later. I would say its the most high functioning of the three. I also think those with these disorders... attract people with cluster A disorders... but cluster A disorders are not hollywood or important per se.

 

Cluster B traits can get the biggest supply from a Cluster A trait type person. They actually feed on each other.

Edited by Sweetfish
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