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I need your thoughts on this... [UPDATE: Breakdown triggered at 7-Eleven]


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Hello everyone.

 

I've been reading these forums for quit some time due to my breakup a few months ago. It was a very, very bad breakup, initiated by me, which later I regretted and wanted back with her but my ex told me to never call her again, mainly due to the fact that I acted like a complete and utter jack-arse. I hurt her big time. I was so ashamed, embarrassed and down-right shocked at how pathetic and weak I acted that it further drove me to chase her just so I could repair my mess-up, but only made matters worse. I was selfish because it was all about me.

 

Needless to say I tried several strategies that I read up on online and to no surprise those didn't work either. I left her alone for a few weeks hoping she would contact me once she cooled off but instead got a few breadcrumbs here and there from her on fb but because I was still such an amateur, selfish buffoon I failed at those too. She eventually just blocked me from fb.

 

The final straw was around the 4th month mark when I decided to send her a text message that was straight from the heart to basically say I was willing to do whatever it took to make things right...and again...nothing. No response.

 

What was further sad was that very night I received a phone call and it was her caller ID. I couldn't believe it! Finally I get to hear her beautiful voice after 4 months! I was so ecstatic but calmed myself down quick before I answered so that I was ready to show her the new me and answered...and....it was a guy's voice. He basically said he was her boyfriend and that I needed to stop contacting her. Well, needless to say I was totally shocked, devastated, envious and scared all at the same time. My anxiety shot through the roof instantly. I became totally defensive with this dude and threatened to beat him up when truthfully I didn't want to. Him and I went back and forth with threats. I even heard my ex in the background, drunk, yelling that she didn't want to be with me, ever!

 

I have never been in this situation before where I was the guy being pushed out. I was always confident, cool and carefree in the past relationships but this time I was "that annoying pesky guy." So embarrassing. Smh.

 

I couldn't believe the dirty, disgusting mess I was in at that moment. I finally came to my senses. This was going too far. I told them to have a great life together and hung up. He kept calling me back but I didn't answer. Eventually later I answered when the calls weren't stopping and this time it was my ex on the other end. She was completely drunk and talking nonsense. She said something really mean about my family. Very hurtful. I was still very defensive, which looking back I wish I had acted mature and just been like "I'm happy for you two, wish you two the best." Something like that, but instead, once again, I failed to be the better person and showed her I wasn't the man that she thought I was.

 

Anyways, that was then.

 

The thing is guys, since that day I really, really dug in deep and started reading and truly understanding what was going on with me and I'm confident in saying that I'm truly a much, much stronger person now. It does really excite me for the future person I get involved with because now I know what I gotta do to keep her interest level high and avoid self sabotage. All the parts of the ex relationship that I screwed up on I now know where I went wrong and how to avoid it. Make a long story short I've learned immensely beyond explanation here.

 

But here's the thing. It's been almost 7 months (3 months total NC) and the problem is I still haven't let go of my ex! I still constantly think about her. On the conscious level I totally understand the whole situation now and know she simply wasn't the right woman for me but my heart simply won't let her go. I still passionately yearn for her on a really, really deep level. It's scary deep. I almost don't even want to confront it anymore because I feel so weak to it. I mean I've tried just about everything but I simply can't let her go. I don't understand what else to do. I feel like I'm living my life just to think about her morning, noon and night even though I'm a completely different person now and it's really breaking me. I've read countless forums, articles, books, audio on relationships and have learned a great deal and yet I still can't seem to let her go despite my education. Nothing is working!

 

I've even reached a point where I'm so hopeless at believing that I could move on that perhaps the only thing left is if I can meet someone better than her, which I pray for every day. But it's like I've created my own vacuum because due to the fact that I think about her so much the energy I'm giving out to the Universe is "don't send me anyone because I'm not ready after all I'm still thinking about her." And that's exactly what I'm getting. Nothing. It's like the Universe still knows I'm not ready and is sending me no one and this makes me sad because it's like I'm in a lose-lose situation. How can I finally move on and "feel" ready if I can't stop thinking about her in the first place? This is the vacuum I can't escape.

 

I'm just really down on my luck now and really sad that I'm in this situation still because I truly believe, deep down, I'm a completely different person from the person that I was 7 months ago. I can't even begin to tell you and I'm proud of me for this but it's the letting go part that I'm having trouble with. I still am hoping, waiting, in the back of my head, for her to contact me so that I can show her the new me and it's truly irritating me because I know it's not going to happen but I can't seem to convince myself of this. It's like my subconscious mind is playing games with me and I can't control it. I've lost complete control of my thoughts about my ex. Believe me, she wasn't perfect by any means and no matter how much I try to talk myself into thinking this it still eventually gets overridden by the desire to see her, be with her and make love to her again. I guess the pathetic thing is I feel I won't be able to meet someone as beautiful as her. She just had and still has my attention because I was so attracted to her.

 

And to make matters worse because I stalk her fb, from time to time, I noticed, a week and a half ago, she had unblocked me after 5 months of being blocked. This confused me even further because I take it either she is sending me another crumby breadcrumb, or she's now totally indifferent. Either way it messed me up hardcore because it's making me think I might have a chance at at least communicating with her, not to get back, but just to open dialogue.

 

It's a totally crumby way of living now guys, I know, and I'm totally aware of it and I'm just at my wits end which is why I finally had the courage to write this to you guys.

 

I've left out a lot of details but that's not important at this point. You guys get the idea. I guess what I want to know is what was her point of unblocking me from fb? I mean it did come as a total shock considering how bad I screwed up with her but then again it goes back to me thinking that maybe she just might be so indifferent that me being unblocked just doesn't matter anymore. And yes, I totally know fb is meaningless and her actions on it shouldn't mean much to me but it's hard guys, it's really hard, especially when you're lonely. This just sucks man.

 

Anyways, I guess any good advice would kinda help out guys because I'm spent. Thank you and love you all!

 

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!

Edited by LitTunnel
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You spent way too much time analyzing and improving and doing whatever it was you did. You say you want her to be happy... I say BS! You friggin' hate that she's happy... or at least you should, at first. I think you spent way too little time selfishly grieving the end of the relationship.

 

In order to let it go, you have to actually let it go. You can't hang onto it as motivation to be noble, to be ready for the next one or to be better or to be whatever it is that this failure is driving you to be. At some point, you have to do all that stuff for you. But first, you've got to let go. Forget about the next one for now. Deal with this last one first.

 

Letting go is going to involve sadness and feeling sorry for yourself and doing all that stuff that guys are so bad at doing. There's no good time for it. Your friends don't want to hear it. You don't want to feel it. But it is so necessary. It will seem like forever, but doing that will set you free, and it won't take as long as you think. Your pals will forgive you for acting like a girl. Just do it, get it over with.

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LargoLagg, I have broken down more times then I would like to admit. Please believe me. I've definitely grieved. I'm just frustrated because of the fact that I have broken down so much that I'm still not getting past this. And you're right, deep down I don't want her happy because I'm selfish and hate the fact that she got away from me with all the power and I'm stuck here power-less and not willing to let go.

 

I get the strong sense she knows this. She knows I'm weak even though we haven't talked in months and is probably enjoying it herself. We were definitely both selfish. This is a mess all around between her and I. I wish I can start clean slate with someone new but obviously and sadly after all these months I'm still not ready. Yes, I've learned a lot about relationships and what it takes to make it work but this ex of mine is haunting me still and I'm just a weak man quivering in the corner with my tail between my legs because I'm too weak to tell her to leave me, metaphorically speaking of course. Hence my dilemma.

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I get the strong sense she knows this. She knows I'm weak even though we haven't talked in months and is probably enjoying it herself. We were definitely both selfish. This is a mess all around between her and I. I wish I can start clean slate with someone new but obviously and sadly after all these months I'm still not ready. Yes, I've learned a lot about relationships and what it takes to make it work but this ex of mine is haunting me still and I'm just a weak man quivering in the corner with my tail between my legs because I'm too weak to tell her to leave me, metaphorically speaking of course. Hence my dilemma.

 

That sentence right there..

 

Means your still that guy and your going to apply your newly found knowledge on the same girl you left. The real question is have you put this new you to practice? Can a person fly a flight simulator for 200 hours and fly an airplane? No.

 

One thing a women has honed out in her life time is detecting when a man is weak. So she will see right thru it...but at the same time you really shouldn't have to impress anyone. Just be you and go on with your self and the next building block you need to figure out is how to be happy on your own will.

 

Stop checking her Facebook and truly accept the fact that this girl is gone.

 

That is when they come back.

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I feel for you. I understand how it's hard to give up hope, how your mind will continue to ruminate about the times together and how you'll yearn for that. How it feels to see a text and when you read it, it just breadcrumbs or something that makes you feel worse.

It's been 7 months for me, and I'm still working through this.

 

Acceptance for me was a game changer, it was like letting go of the struggle. You feel centered. You may have a lot of sadness, but even though you got sadness, there's a feeling like a burden is lifted. You feel ready to move on.

Thinking that things are not the way they should be is still a form of non-acceptance. Acceptance= everything is as it should be.

The Buddhist philosophy has helped me get over my ex. Here are a few things that helped me work through this: Acceptance is something you have to do over and over. So go within yourself and make the commitment. In other words, go inside yourself and simply turn your mind towards acceptance.

Acceptance transform pain into ordinary pain. One Thing in the moment, feel the pain physically. One by one feel it behind your eyes, then your throat, in your temples, now one by one wait for it to leave your body.

One by one feel your pain leaving. Stay aware of all your physical changes, be aware of your body where it feels tense, and one by one the discomfort dissipating.

Accept what you feel physically, emotionally then let it go. Staying mindful until it's gone. It will take about a minute for it to leave. Imagine your brain on a brain scan and seeing the areas that cause the intense emotions light up, then watch as it dissipates when you practice being mindful.

 

Commit to persist. When nothing is working out, it is easy to want to go back to self-destructive behaviors. Doing something—anything—is a victory, even if you feel it is not. Make a commitment to keep on trying; the longer you stay fighting, the better the chance of victory.”

 

My own personal advice is to go out with friends that you enjoy spending time with. Fill the void of your ex with friends.

Take care.

Edited by Sunnymae
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Broken-Hearted-Girl

Hi LitTunnel, I think the problem is that you're changing and becoming a better person for her, and not for yourself. I recently got dumped and he said some pretty harsh things, and even though I love him with all my heart and I wish I could be with him once more.. I would never give him another chance. This is because I simply don't trust him with my heart anymore and would never give him the opportunity to break me down again and I honestly will never understand how someone you love could say such horrible things. It made me rethink every happy moment, it made everything seem like a lie to me. I'm not sure how your ex feels but as a person who has just been through this, this is the gist of how she may be feeling

 

I think you need to focus on yourself. I know you feel like you'll never find another person as amazing as she was, but honestly think about your relationship.. why did you leave? She wasn't as perfect as you make her seem if you left at first. I honestly am struggling myself to come to terms with the end of something amazing, I wish things never changed but I've been talking to friends and family and they all say that one day you'll someone who will love you unconditionally, no matter how hard things get they will be there, I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason.. you may not understand right now but remember that new beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.

 

I wish you all the best during this difficult time. Just know that you aren't alone.

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I really feel for you LitTunnel. You have been so honest about how you feel. Your description is a wonderful example of how we are influenced by the unconscious mind. This is why we struggle with letting someone go; we are literally battling with ourselves. Perhaps acknowledging that part of you still wants to be with her, against all reason, will help. What does that part of you who wants her feel? What is the draw? Does pretending not to feel anything ever work for anyone? I doubt it. Cutting them off and going no-contact helps to stop the pangs from getting their own way and eventually time makes memories fade, so that is why that helps.

 

You need to stop berating yourself for feeling this way. It is just the way you are at the moment. Let the feelings flow through or you will be forever battling them and trying to control yourself; just don't contact or meet up with her again in order to do this.

 

Maybe you are still stuck on her because you believe at some level that you could have saved this relationship if you had behaved differently. Sometimes that is the case, but sometimes feelings just change and you can't retrieve it. If her feelings changed, then whatever you did after that would have been futile (and no doubt she would have blamed you for trying). She has made a choice. You have no control over that and probably never had. Feelings have a life of their own but they can't change the facts.

 

Hopefully you will be able to accept that there is nothing you can do. Ignore whatever she is doing because you will only try to interpret it until you go crazy. If she wanted to be with you, she would be in contact, phoning, texting, turning up at your door. She is not doing any of these things. If you did ever get her back, you would spend your time worrying that you were going to lose her again. It's not worth the pain!

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I think it sounds like you have over-idealized her in your mind. As a girl I've been on the receiving end of this especially when I've intitiated a breakup. I think somehow men are more prone to feeling regret over what they have lost and start putting the girl on a pedestal. I didn't really recognize it for what it was until I got older, but on the occasions I took the guy back, the relationship would feel recharged and energized only for a short period before going right back to where it was initially - fraught with issues.

 

You mentioned that she is beautiful and you are very attracted to her. I understand that makes it harder to let her go, but all physical beauty fades. Even before it does, physical attraction fades. Have you not heard the saying, "Behind every beautiful woman, there is a man sick of fu*king her"? That's cold hard truth.

 

I suggest you take control of the situation. Right now you're just dangling and hoping. You could initiate something and let it play out or you could block her and actively move on. Right now you're in a horrible limbo.

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I think everyone has hit the nail on the head.

You have analyzed the relationship and realized your mistakes and understood what you needed to fix. However, you are still applying this to your ex. You need to apply this to yourself to make YOU a better person and prospect for a future relationship.

 

START no contact. I say start no contact, because you are still doing things that make it seem like you are in contact. Stalking her Facebook and other things is still like revisiting a connection that you share with your ex. Although it is superficial, it's still like you seeing her. I'm talking like either deactivate Facebook or block her for your own healing. You need to cut her out and start focusing on YOU. This is the whole point of no contact. It's not a tactic to get your ex back. Yes, it can help rekindle the feelings of two that haven't been in touch for a while. But the only way you will win her back is by moving on.

 

Why? You will be gaining your self-confidence, your self-worth, your life, your happiness back when you move on. You have to let her go. She may seem like the perfect girlfriend, and that is fine. But leave it as that with a memory. Focus on yourself and expressing yourself through things that interest you like singing or learning an instrument. And if you find yourself wanting to rekindle things with her, oh boy, give it a lot of time. She needs A HELL OF A LOT OF TIME, to forget the things you did. But, if you are dead set on winning her back, follow the moving on tactics.

 

Who wants to go back to a person that is mopey, or hasn't been addressing himself? I would want someone that is confident, and knows his self-worth. Someone that is interesting and has been doing fun things. Take this as a lesson that you need to find yourself, find your own happiness, and be worthy of someone that can share love with you. It may sound a little harsh at the moment, but it is the best way to live and have a healthy relationship.

 

I wish you the best,

-WhatDEWWWWW

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  • 3 weeks later...
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7 months apart (I initiated split, regretted and wanted back but she said "Don't ever call me again.")

 

5 months full NC.

 

Acted beta, texted a couple dozen times, called a few (basically didn't respect her space) and chased her to the hills (at the time I didn't know that I shouldn't have done that)

 

Blocked me on fb for a few months but unblocked me Dec (probably cause of indifference)

 

Around same time ( 6 months later) she stopped posting breakup memes and started posting memes related to meeting someone new (we are not friends on fb)

 

Just today I've come to find through her profile pic that she might be in a relationship (not a 100% but I think more likely she is).

 

This literally set me back BIG time. Heck, I didn't even go to work.

 

Please guys, don't be tempted. I know it's impossible to not fb stalk but take it from me, when you see something you don't like it's going to destroy you. So much so that my anxiety went through the roof causing me to get light headed and felt like I wasn't in my body.

 

I've been praying to God to give me one last chance with her for months or to meet someone new I'm compatible with that could replace her but to no avail.

 

At this point I would need a miracle to help me through this because as of late my life has been nothing but miserable. On the outside I seem fine but on the inside I'm totally depressed.

 

To be honest I'm finding myself more and more just totally stone faced at times thinking "why? why? why did I act like that with her? how did I get myself into this? why did I ever meet her? why am I in this position now? I don't deserve this. If this was for a reason to help me grow then where is the reward? where is the light at the end of the tunnel? Why am I suffering so much and she is free and happy? It's just not fair!!! :(:(:(

 

This is no way to live guys, like honestly. I've been around for a bit and never in my wildest dream did I ever think I would be in this position at this age of my life. I've fallen so hard that I literally don't see and feel any hope. Like I wasn't already struggling enough in my life now this.

 

I read books, articles, watch videos on self-help but nothing is snapping me out of this depression and it's scaring me.

 

Why is life so painful? I thought it was meant to be fun but this is just sheer misery for me and has been for the last 7 months.

 

I don't deserve this!

 

Look, I know there are people out in this world who have it way, WAY worse and I totally get it but to be honest I'm not them. This is my life. This is what the dice has rolled for me and I'm paying for it big time. It's still hell. it's still miserable enough that it's affected me very, very much and I'm just totally screwed.

 

They say dog-poop like this is a gift, well I say shove this gift up where the sun don't shine.

 

Dam, I have so much more to say but I don't want this to turn into a book. Sorry for being so negative guys, I'm just really, really down now so I just needed to vent for a short fix.

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I wouldn't say all hope is lost with this particular woman, as if you read up on this site or other forums out there, you will see that sometimes people get together 1+ years in the future. Hell you have only been NC 5 months.. I'm not sure I've ever read any stories of a dumper coming back any sooner than 6 months of NC.. maybe rarely, but that's not really a ton of time in the grand scheme. You never know. But after 7 months if you are still this torn up, it sounds like if she did come back right now, you would totally blow it because you haven't healed and become independent again. She'll smell it from a mile away, so be happy she hasn't come back yet.

 

I think you should start dating other girls. FORCE yourself to meet women, use online dating sites, speed dating, etc. Go on dates even though it feels awkward and disgusting, you have to do this. I've been doing it and it's helped me tremendously. I still think about my ex all the time, but I also think a little about some other girls I'm meeting too.. and it feels really good to get attention/attraction from other women after you have been burned by the one you love. I don't think it sounds like you are ready to get into anything serious right now, but I do think dating some other girls casually will help some. Try it, and keep doing it.

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I feel for you LitTunnel. I posted before but I don't think I am healing at all, the thought of my ex being with someone else would cause so much anxiety (I think maybe he has someone too) but I know I can never get back with him if he's been with someone else.

 

I can't seem to bring myself to even think about meeting someone new.

He was just soo soo wrong for me and I hate that I still feel so strongly for someone like him.

 

I too don't know what how to cope! I can't sleep or eat now, was feeling better the first month, but now, for some reason, I feel like I am getting worst!

 

We only can cope day by day..

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Once you degrade yourself by pushing yourself on someone after they've told you to go away, there's really no coming back from it. Makes you look weak and desperate and crazy.

 

You need to stop looking at her accounts. You're just punishing yourself. You need to make plans with friends at least once a week and go do things and NOT talk about her while doing it. You have to force yourself to refocus. If you can't, time to go to a therapist. Good luck.

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7 months apart (I initiated split, regretted and wanted back but she said "Don't ever call me again.")

 

5 months full NC.

 

Acted beta, texted a couple dozen times, called a few (basically didn't respect her space) and chased her to the hills (at the time I didn't know that I shouldn't have done that)

 

Blocked me on fb for a few months but unblocked me Dec (probably cause of indifference)

 

Around same time ( 6 months later) she stopped posting breakup memes and started posting memes related to meeting someone new (we are not friends on fb)

 

Just today I've come to find through her profile pic that she might be in a relationship (not a 100% but I think more likely she is).

 

This literally set me back BIG time. Heck, I didn't even go to work.

 

Please guys, don't be tempted. I know it's impossible to not fb stalk but take it from me, when you see something you don't like it's going to destroy you. So much so that my anxiety went through the roof causing me to get light headed and felt like I wasn't in my body.

 

I've been praying to God to give me one last chance with her for months or to meet someone new I'm compatible with that could replace her but to no avail.

 

At this point I would need a miracle to help me through this because as of late my life has been nothing but miserable. On the outside I seem fine but on the inside I'm totally depressed.

 

To be honest I'm finding myself more and more just totally stone faced at times thinking "why? why? why did I act like that with her? how did I get myself into this? why did I ever meet her? why am I in this position now? I don't deserve this. If this was for a reason to help me grow then where is the reward? where is the light at the end of the tunnel? Why am I suffering so much and she is free and happy? It's just not fair!!! :(:(:(

 

This is no way to live guys, like honestly. I've been around for a bit and never in my wildest dream did I ever think I would be in this position at this age of my life. I've fallen so hard that I literally don't see and feel any hope. Like I wasn't already struggling enough in my life now this.

 

I read books, articles, watch videos on self-help but nothing is snapping me out of this depression and it's scaring me.

 

Why is life so painful? I thought it was meant to be fun but this is just sheer misery for me and has been for the last 7 months.

 

I don't deserve this!

 

Look, I know there are people out in this world who have it way, WAY worse and I totally get it but to be honest I'm not them. This is my life. This is what the dice has rolled for me and I'm paying for it big time. It's still hell. it's still miserable enough that it's affected me very, very much and I'm just totally screwed.

 

They say dog-poop like this is a gift, well I say shove this gift up where the sun don't shine.

 

Dam, I have so much more to say but I don't want this to turn into a book. Sorry for being so negative guys, I'm just really, really down now so I just needed to vent for a short fix.

 

 

right there... exactly right here is why you dont get a second chance...

 

Selfishness

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Once you degrade yourself by pushing yourself on someone after they've told you to go away, there's really no coming back from it. Makes you look weak and desperate and crazy.

 

There is not a day that goes by where I don't t think this. THIS is what's eating me up inside. Had I not called her after the breakup and saved face we would've probably gotten back, or at least on speaking terms. THIS is what's keeping me attached. The REGRET. And I can't let go. WTF!?

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There is not a day that goes by where I don't t think this. THIS is what's eating me up inside. Had I not called her after the breakup and saved face we would've probably gotten back, or at least on speaking terms. THIS is what's keeping me attached. The REGRET. And I can't let go. WTF!?

 

Did she beg you not to leave?

 

Regarding meeting someone new: it's incredibly selfish to use a new person to help heal our old wounds. Please don't look for someone new and don't start dating until you are feeling better.

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I agree with the above person who called you out as selfish.

"I don't deserve this"

"Why have I been dealt this hand"

"I pray to meet someone or get back with her to end this pain"

Hello? You ended it.

This isn't the gods giving you bad luck here. Take some responsibility for what has happened and realize that you have to go through a break up. Just like millions of peope every day.

She isn't going to solve this. Meeting someone else won't solve this. The only thing that will solve this is you getting your **** together, getting off her socials and going though the break up PAIN properly.

It should not last 7 months and it wouldn't have done if you'd gone no contact.

Everything we do comes down to being our own doing.

Stop looking for ways to blame some other entity and face the break up. If you do that you'll be over it in 3 months

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I agree with the above person who called you out as selfish.

"I don't deserve this"

"Why have I been dealt this hand"

"I pray to meet someone or get back with her to end this pain"

Hello? You ended it.

This isn't the gods giving you bad luck here. Take some responsibility for what has happened and realize that you have to go through a break up. Just like millions of peope every day.

She isn't going to solve this. Meeting someone else won't solve this. The only thing that will solve this is you getting your **** together, getting off her socials and going though the break up PAIN properly.

It should not last 7 months and it wouldn't have done if you'd gone no contact.

Everything we do comes down to being our own doing.

Stop looking for ways to blame some other entity and face the break up. If you do that you'll be over it in 3 months

 

Can you give me examples of what I must do to change?

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Did she beg you not to leave?

 

Regarding meeting someone new: it's incredibly selfish to use a new person to help heal our old wounds. Please don't look for someone new and don't start dating until you are feeling better.

 

She did not beg me to not leave. I broke it off with her over text because she tested my jealousy radar, which I had passed in previous times except this one day I fell into her trap and exploded.

 

It was a very weak move on my part because I got overly emotional and acted very beta when I should've acted mature and strong. To be honest, I was neglecting her so this was her way of testing me and I failed and she lost all respect for me.

 

I basically took her for granted and now that she's gone I'm totally beating myself up for it because I miss her so dam much.

 

I was the selfish fool, believe me, I know. I take full responsibility. She was not perfect by any means. I was the man but I didn't act like one and I deserved what I got to be honest.

Edited by LitTunnel
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She did not beg me to not leave. I broke it off with her over text because she tested my jealousy radar, which I had passed in previous times except this one day I fell into her trap and exploded.

 

It was a very weak move on my part because I got overly emotional and acted very beta when I should've acted mature and strong. To be honest, I was neglecting her so this was her way of testing me and I failed and she lost all respect for me.

 

I basically took her for granted and now that she's gone I'm totally beating myself up for it because I miss her so dam much.

 

I was the selfish fool, believe me, I know. I take full responsibility. She was not perfect by any means. I was the man but I didn't act like one and I deserved what I got to be honest.

 

How long did you wait until you went back to her and told her you wanted the relationship back?

 

How old are you?

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Btw, I've been meaning to ask you guys; if I initially broke up with her and later regretted it and wanted back with her a week later and she denies me does that still make me the dumper or dumpee?

 

Sorry, I know this is somewhat off topic but I'm very curious.

 

Thank you.

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How long did you wait until you went back to her and told her you wanted the relationship back?

 

How old are you?

 

1 week

 

42

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1 week

 

42

 

That's not long at all.

 

You must have not treated her that well in the relationship... I'm sorry for your pain. I'm feeling a great deal of pain too. Try accepting it's over.

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That's not long at all.

 

You must have not treated her that well in the relationship... I'm sorry for your pain. I'm feeling a great deal of pain too. Try accepting it's over.

 

What did you mean by "That's not long at all." ?

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